[Salvador1265]

For some reason and yes you might think this is stupid an I am foolish and highly unrealistic I sometimes tend to develop strong feelings for someone I saw on television or in a movie for example a few years ago I saw a movie with a girl who did everything I ever dreamt of doing and I guess I just saw myself in her and I would fantasize about how we were destined to be together and I would ramble in my thoughts how if she were not famous I woulda felt in my heart when I saw her that she was the one it was my motive and I didn't care about anything else I mean I was outta of it.

Share about similar situations or how you liked someone you knew deep down you could never get(or about your victories)all stories welcome

[Sonne]

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt :D

[zewology]

I think this is something that most INFPs have done at some point in their lives. I did this a couple times when I was younger, but I grew out of it, forced myself to face the fact that the person wasn't even a person -- he was a fictional character played by some actor who probably wouldn't be much like that person should I ever somehow meet him. Still, a lot of teenagers in general (not just INFPs, really) idealize a favorite TV or movie character.

I'll even admit there's one person out there who I totally have a geek crush on even though I've only ever "seen" him in video clips. I know it's nothing akin to anything real but it's harder to let go because it's just him I'm watching, not him reading lines or playing a character. I'll just say that I have an exaggerated fondness for him, but I don't let it infiltrate my thoughts of real romance.

[CynicallyNaive]

Limerence Experienced - tribe.net


Especially this thread: Limerence and temperament. Although to be honest, i think the coined term limerence is sort of silly; i tend to just opt for the lowbrow crush[ing].

[unico]

Hmm, I've never had this happen. I don't feel attracted to strangers (such as actors). I only feel attraction if someone's personality really interests me. I have experienced deep limerence before, though, including with a best friend I got romantically involved with -- it went terribly wrong. Maybe feeling deep attraction to famous people/strangers is more common in INFP's than INFJ's?

[CynicallyNaive]

Maybe feeling deep attraction to famous people/strangers is more common in INFP's than INFJ's?

Thanks for your thought-provoking input, but is this based on a sample size greater than one INFJ?

[unico]

Thanks for your thought-provoking input, but is this based on a sample size greater than one INFJ?

No, not at all! Just a random curiosity if this is something more common to INFP's since it's posted in the INFP forum as opposed to the NF forum:-)

[unico]

And sorry if that comment seemed a little dense:P

[vellocent]

I decided to give up on a loving relationship and go for something casual. It ended up with two very confused people wanting two different things, because no matter what my heart is set for love. It is probably time for a break.

[CynicallyNaive]

No, not at all! Just a random curiosity if this is something more common to INFP's since it's posted in the INFP forum as opposed to the NF forum:-)

That's entirely legitimate. Ideas come from one or two pieces of data, and then get validated through more observation. So brainstorming based on personal experience is great. :)

I just lament that, because we're mostly Ns, the second part of the process rarely takes place on these forums. Someone says they once knew three INFJs who had red hair so therefore INFJs have a propensity to have red hair. That sort of thinking doesn't get questioned enough, although of course it's important to question it tactfully.

I just wanted to clarify where you were in that process. :)

And sorry if that comment seemed a little dense:P

Naah, not at all.


------

I decided to give up on a loving relationship and go for something casual.

Even this first sentence breaks my heart. Don't give up!

It ended up with two very confused people wanting two different things, because no matter what my heart is set for love.

Yeah, i'm very empathetic and sorry to hear it ended like this, but it's not a huge surprise. You can't make yourself want a superficial fling. At least you're honest with yourself.

It is probably time for a break.

Perhaps. Sometimes love comes when you're not looking for it. They say that's usually how it goes, but i don't know if i agree with them. That could be perception bias. :)