Stream of Consciousness/Vent Thread

**amethyst_butterfly** · 09-10-2012 04:13 PM

Today I came to work with a positive attitude and had a good day. I had tons of work to do and I was by myself because my supervisor had to leave early but I did a good job.....well I feel I did. I know that my boss will never be satisfied with anything but unfortunally true perfection does not exist .I think is subjective. I asked her if everything was alright and she told me Yes. Is best to take things easy instead of being rushed out because that's when mistakes happen.

I think the situation was also personal since I have been distancing myself in the past weeks eating lunch by myself. I guess I have to eat lunch next to her desk like a happy family.

**Runemarks** · 09-10-2012 05:10 PM

I feel vulnerable.

**blue manticore** · 09-10-2012 05:43 PM

I think I narrowed down what type of girl I want. So far I know of two that exist and I can't really have either, but knowing that there is more than one just makes me happy :}

**peterbreter** · 09-10-2012 05:48 PM

Love reading, but I can't manage to get fully into the story when I am on the train and there are other noises. People are so obnoxiously loud with their conversations. I'm thinking maybe I should download classical music on my phone and listen to it?

**blue manticore** · 09-10-2012 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by Runemarks

I feel vulnerable.

sounds like you could use some best friend armor :}
tumblr_m8uocsryT21rvb2a8o1_500.jpg
we all need somebody to protect us when were feeling vulnerable. For some its a person, others an animal and others its their god. Find yours and suit up :) or just enjoy the gif haha

Edit: Oh wait it didn't work... well fin jumps into Jakes mouth and he turns into a muscly yellow... guy...

**fantasista** · 09-10-2012 06:31 PM

Originally Posted by ethylester

When my son was born, together we spent 53 days in the hospital. You can imagine the bills, even with insurance. (without insurance, I estimate the bills are over $300,000). I have applied for financial assistance for the co-payments and out of pocket bills, and I will most likely get a percentage knocked off just because I took the time to apply. Call the number on your bills and see if they have any special programs. i would think most of them do. good luck!

Wow........ wow. :O Assuming that you're American, it really is time for you guys to socialize health care. Having to pay to safely have a baby = inhumane in my personal opinion.

In the world of my problems, I worry more and more that I'll never be able to keep a job for long. Even worse than my becoming bored and dissatisfied with routine and repetition very quickly is that I must be the single least punctual, least reliable person on Earth. I'm almost never on time for anything no matter how I might try and although I've been trying to improve lately I'm still occasionally liable to just not show up for things at all. If I'm late for something my first reaction is to just leave and not face the unpleasantness of being told off or becoming the centre of attention for a couple minutes, even though that usually makes it worse in the long run.

The problem is that I know very well that deep down I don't want to work at all, and to me practicality is nothing more than a word. The incentive of money isn't anywhere near enough for me to bear the unpleasantness of work for very long, and part of me would want to do cartwheels across the room if I got laid off/fired. It's really only the threat of my mom's wrath that keeps me going back to work at this point. I was late today again but told myself that I'd feel better if I went in and just faced another chastising by my supervisor, and hey, guess what, I lied! For the whole rest of my shift I was wishing that I'd just walked away instead of wasting another gorgeous day inside being gainfully employed. It also reeeeally doesn't help that when I have to I work quite hard and therefore seem to get saddled with difficult jobs.

**ethylester** · 09-10-2012 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by fantasista

Wow........ wow. :O Assuming that you're American, it really is time for you guys to socialize health care. Having to pay to safely have a baby = inhumane in my personal opinion.

I totally agree 100%. I shouldn't even have to worry about money when it comes to the health of my baby. Having pregnancy complications wasn't something I asked for or even directly or indirectly contributed to. It just happened. You can't prevent these things sometimes. i can't imagine having to pay $300,000+ for this. Luckily my insurance covers most of that but I still owe a percentage of it. My percentage will probably amount to around $6,000 out of pocket. Still, that's a lot. I have applied for Medicaid as well as financial assistance from the hospital directly. I haven't heard back on either yet, but I am assuming I'll get both. It won't pay for everything, but it will cover a large chunk of the rest, I'm assuming. And let me tell you, the Medicaid application is a headache. They ask you a book's worth of questions, including irrelevant things like what kind of car you drive and what the mileage is. They even wanted to know the date my son was conceived and what town it was in! That's none of their business. What the hell. But if I want help paying for it, I gotta answer the questions.

So yes, I totally agree about socialized medicine. I lived in Canada for two years and got a little taste of what it's like and it just seems so much better than what we have in the states. I feel insulted knowing that my govt and fellow Americans don't think I'm worth paying for in the same way the Canadian govt & Canadians will pay for their fellow citizens. What makes us so different?

anyway. that's a touchy subject for me. You said it right = INHUMANE.

**Alyosha** · 09-10-2012 09:52 PM

I fell asleep a few hours ago, but I woke up again, and it's nearly 7 AM.

For some reason I feel so unbelievably cold, and nothing helps. The atmosphere is also very sinister. Before getting up, my mind kept going back to this story that I felt like I made up while trying not to. It was very unpleasant. It takes place on a different planet. On it, a few people are born with their spines showing on their backs as teeth do in our mouth. A team from some kind of galactic confederacy is sent down to see them, and discover that despite its illegality the less than hundred or so inhabitants of the planet still practice this one ritual. At the end of every century they use the backs of these people as music instruments by pulling some kind of board up and down their spine. This also pains them in an unimagineably terribly way which makes them give out a strangely musical yet haunting scream.

The captain of our galactic confederacy group talk amongst themselves. They conclude that as long as the people who use these spine people are in need of them, they should be spared. Afterwards they ask the people who do not have their spines sticking out if they would rather die or live unfree. They say they would rather be unfree. The galactic confederacy people conclude that these people are not up to the standards of humanity and decide to eliminate them. First they shoot all the men who willingly let this happen, believing the women and children to be safe. Second they shoot the women who agree because they think the children will be safe. Finally, relates one of these galactic confederacy people, they shoot the children, and they were the only ones who cried during their respective killing.

I'm still freaked out, but I've been listening to music while writing this. Strangely I feel less cold now.

**StaceofBass** · 09-10-2012 10:30 PM

Oh I never ever ever want to drive again in a duststorm...the thunder, lightning, gusting wind, and blowing dust...God no...I don't need my car being blown out of my control in a violent gust of wind, thanks. I also don't need to be blinded by dust. I also don't need to be scared half to death by thunder. If only I had someone to snuggle tonight...