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This is a discussion on Stream of Consciousness/Vent Thread within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Lackjester If you can provide a better explanation and back your claims with decent logic, I'll gladly ...
Needy people drain me, but I can't tell them to fuck off either. Somewhere deep down I must enjoy being wanted. It's unhealthy though. For not only them but me as well. It must also be based in fear because I dont want to hurt them emotionally (or in any way really) and I dont want to be told that they hate me. Why the hell can't my asshole side come out anymore? It comes when I don't need it, but just buries itself when it actually may be acceptable to use it. Fuck it all. It's not empathy or compassion. Just pity. Where does the line need to be drawn for such people?...
Alright, time to check on PC after having a really rough night, taking a nap, and going to the store... aaand... I feel like a jackass because everyone is fighting over something I started. Awesome.
So I am here back again even though I planned to remain retired until December or next year but I realized how important this website is for me at this stage of my life. The first days were fine but then I realized that I needed a place to express my emotions. I even searched for websites online that allow you to vent anonymously but they can't be compared to this place.
As an INFP I need a space that allows me express my happiness, worries and anger and talk to people that go through the same thing. If I keep those emotions inside me for a long time I explode. Anxiety and Anger are the emotions that most affect me. I am not a person with anger management problems but it upsets me when people take advantage of me and I don't confront the person about it. This place has allowed me to keep my emotions in check in a significant way. That is why I decided to stay with you guys and thanks for receiving me with open arms. I sometimes feel like an alien from another planet but this place makes me feel normal :D.
What is new??? Well this week my schedule got changed again. I used to work 4 days a week and had a day off that was chosen depending on the needs of the hospital but now my supervisor ordered me to work Monday to Thursday from 7 to 2pm and Fridays from 7 am to 4pm.......because she loves me very much.
It angered me for a moment but then I saw the bright side of this change. Is nice to leave early almost everyday. :)
Well that's it. Take care everyone!
Sorry... I feel bad.. I didn't intend to make light of a situation that could be very serious for you or others.
Its sounds like you're doing a very caring and self-sacrificial thing, so I hope that the situation resolves itself and that all of you are well.
To all but one of my classmates,
You people sicken me. You really do. Today, I witnessed you laughing at a fellow student for sharing her own experiences of hardship and medical problems. Some of you are 32 and 33 years of age. Grow up! This is so juvenile. So me and her both have epilepsy. So what? you'll encounter a lot worse going into the medical field. Are you going to laugh at a cancer patient? Are you going to laugh at someone in intense pain from a heart attack? How about someone who can't talk anymore because they had a stroke? Have a little compassion for your fellow man! Some of you may get cancer when you're older. How would you feel if your doctor started laughing at you? You know...what blows my mind is one of you has actually had an experience with cancer and you're lacking of empathy and compassion for both me and this girl. Get over yourself and grow up.
Your angry classmate
I feel sick and guilty. I think I was too fucking honest. Ugh. I have confessed my past mistakes enough and yet the guilt lingers and I still refer to it in other posts of mine. Why can't I let it go already. I sound like a broken record in some of my posts and I'm sure I have even made that reference before. I have already confessed. People know. Nothing can change my past misdeeds. Maybe 'm just waiting on someone to come along and say all of your bad past actions have been forgiven. The guilt is gone. I have edited one post in another thread probably seven times now because I wanted to be honest and then it looked really off putting so I changed it again to be more vague. Now I feel like I'm not being honest and the thread was simply for fun and I'm the one causing all this stress and ruminating over it. So what am I? Too honest or a liar? I guess I'm both. Fuck.
I think it's healthy that I can openly talk about my mistakes, but I'm wrong. I'm holding on to them and constantly restart feelings of guilt.
I suppose I don't have to constantly refer to the past. I don't why I hold on to it. It's holding me back and I need to release it. Meh.
EDIT: After this mini freakout I tried to calm myself a bit and ended up meditating. It works really well for me so far and I would endorse it for others. I may have to do something more symbolic and ritualistic to free myself from the past but for the time being I am able to rein myself back together.
I admit that these thoughts made me think of this video though...
Last edited by Wanderlust94; 08-29-2012 at 10:00 PM.
I've been thinking a lot, today. I've learned a fair bit about myself, too. I don't like it. None of it.