[snowbell]

Why are people and society as a whole so willing to trample on the institution of marriage and treat it as though it's something only to be obeyed when convenient?

People are quick to complain that the world is going to hell and people are rude now as compared to the "good old days", but then go off and marry quickly when they see someone who's "hot" or "rich". You're not supposed to rush into it at the fastest opportunity, and you're not supposed to marry just because that's what others are doing or because others tell you to. I can understand that some people can marry young, and that's good for them if they can make it work. All too often when they can't, they blame the other person and bring that baggage into other peoples' lives.

And then you get all of these broken marriages in which the children (if any) suffer and that's assuming you're even having children within the marriage and not out of it (hello Jerry Springer). People make sex to be some "yeah sure why not" and then don't even bother to look at the consequences. It's now drama when someone's had a child with somebody and the father could be any one of 6 men.

And these people aren't taught how to look for a mate, taught that honesty, integrity, and all the other things are more important than some "flavor of the month" person who's clearly got a shady history but *seems* to be good. People aren't taught that love isn't what you see in the movies where it's all candles and kisses, but that real love takes work, sacrifice, and effort. And when they don't want to put in that effort they now start deciding to drop out of it.

It doesn't work that way - you can't go and have your cake and eat it too. I'm sorry, but it really does get to me. Live your life as you please, but don't complain if things end up getting horribly messed up because you didn't take the time to learn, understand, and love the person you married and it's now a train wreck. Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment of love, equality, and service to your partner, and they to you, and the reason it's looked upon with such seriousness by the law is because it's exactly that - serious.

[adverseaffects]

Seriously guys, how has no one answered my dire post concernign the male-roommate situation
T.T

[inxo]

Seriously guys, how has no one answered my dire post concernign the male-roommate situation
T.T

Are we males that bad roommates?

Why are people and society as a whole so willing to trample on the institution of marriage and treat it as though it's something only to be obeyed when convenient?

People are quick to complain that the world is going to hell and people are rude now as compared to the "good old days", but then go off and marry quickly when they see someone who's "hot" or "rich". You're not supposed to rush into it at the fastest opportunity, and you're not supposed to marry just because that's what others are doing or because others tell you to. I can understand that some people can marry young, and that's good for them if they can make it work. All too often when they can't, they blame the other person and bring that baggage into other peoples' lives.

And then you get all of these broken marriages in which the children (if any) suffer and that's assuming you're even having children within the marriage and not out of it (hello Jerry Springer). People make sex to be some "yeah sure why not" and then don't even bother to look at the consequences. It's now drama when someone's had a child with somebody and the father could be any one of 6 men.

And these people aren't taught how to look for a mate, taught that honesty, integrity, and all the other things are more important than some "flavor of the month" person who's clearly got a shady history but *seems* to be good. People aren't taught that love isn't what you see in the movies where it's all candles and kisses, but that real love takes work, sacrifice, and effort. And when they don't want to put in that effort they now start deciding to drop out of it.

It doesn't work that way - you can't go and have your cake and eat it too. I'm sorry, but it really does get to me. Live your life as you please, but don't complain if things end up getting horribly messed up because you didn't take the time to learn, understand, and love the person you married and it's now a train wreck. Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment of love, equality, and service to your partner, and they to you, and the reason it's looked upon with such seriousness by the law is because it's exactly that - serious.

I rarely feel entitled to comment on what other people do, specially when it involves such strong feelings, and I would never put an institution above the individual happiness of people.

[adverseaffects]

Are we males that bad roommates?

It's a pretty unusual situation. No changing in the room. No late night cuddling while we talk about boys. Possible tension. I won't be able to walk around or sleep naked. Social stigma and my parents will be concerned. If I want to have sex it'd somehow be more awkward to ask my roommate to clear out for a couple hours ya know.

other than that it's totally cool.

[mimesis]

Can Sho be a female name? A Japanese female name? Other wise my roomate for college is a guy.

A guy.

.................................................. ........................

the dormrooms are not THAT big you know
this will cause all types of complications
we will have to change behind trashcans
oh no

Is that even possible, mixed gender?

I read though, that girls change roommates a lot more often than boys.

[da_gobbo]

Seriously guys, how has no one answered my dire post concernign the male-roommate situation
T.T

did a quick google, seems to be a name that is unisex but more likely to be male

[adverseaffects]

did a quick google, seems to be a name that is unisex but more likely to be male

oh good xD thanks, I looked it up but all I found were Japanese baby names and they listed Sho as male and Shoko as the female form.
@mimesis
I thought it normally wouldn't, but I remember when I filled out the roommate form checking some box... but now I remember it was I'd be ok with a transgender roommate not a male one...

whoo!!

[ethylester]

I was in the public library reading Ralph Waldo Emerson when this blonde girl about my age comes up to me. She was quite attractive until she uttered the first sentence out of her mouth since she had gazed at me, which was... "I didn't know that the Where's Waldo guy wrote thicker books.". I wanted to chuck the book at her face. I was in a very light shock. Is this the world to come?

That is hilarious. Out of curiosity, what did you say to her?

[Wanderlust94]

That is hilarious. Out of curiosity, what did you say to her?

All I said in response, and admittedly quite gruffly, was you're thinking of the wrong guy. Which led to about maybe 2 minutes of explaining who Emerson was. She told me I must be one of those "brainy" types and walked away. Sorry if you wanted a more exciting story. That's why I stopped it at my initial internal reaction. If it helps I can make up another ending.

[Oh_no_she_DIDNT]

My summer jobs are killing me! Help!

So, this summer I'm working two part time jobs. I hate them both, and it's a horrible struggle getting through every minute of every shift. It feels like I'm selling my soul for nothing. The reason I don't quit, is that I'm a broke student, and my life is quite... messed up right now. I really don't have any other choice than to stay in these jobs. Surrounded by people that are really unfriendly and close minded, most of them uneducated sensors. I’m trying desperately to force my features into a smile. If I by miracle succeed in this, the smile will be stiff and unconvincing, but who around me is sensitive enough to notice how I really feel? To them, a smile is a smile, and that’s it. The defiant expression I'm fighting not to show, they might react to though, so I’ll continue trying to hide that. Don’t want them to hate me even more.

I work in a nursing home in a ward where most of the patients are senile. In theory, I love the thought of caring for the old, and it should make me happy when they feel better because of me. I think it's an important job. That's how I try to force myself to think, but I'm lying to myself, obviously. My ideals do not match up to the reality of the work. I'm not the loving little nurse, and I can never be, no matter how hard I try. I'm ashamed to admit I find them disgusting. Helping them with washing, dressing, eating, and... well, I won't give any nasty details. It makes me lose faith in human race a bit, seeing all those old folks, sitting in their wheelchairs dumb and drooling. They're vegetables. I've realized I want to die young. Life is just a process of decay, degradation. My esteem for the life of a human being is high. In theory, I love people, but I can't seem to include those vegetables in my conviction that all people are good beings, not when I have to deal with getting them through the day. I think it's because I subconsciously only value intelligent human life. So, my Fi won’t reach them, and my Fe is non-existent. God, those Fe nursing ladies annoy me! They’re exasperating really, with all their loud, abundant chatter, their maternal, yet domineering care, their extreme insensitivity. Why is every nurse a ESFJ? Why do I never get along with them? After the first shift, I’ve always brought a book, as a way tuning them out and mentally escaping in every break.

I try to respect the old people by thinking of who they once were, but I find that difficult. I don't know them, and there is no way of getting to know them, as they are empty shells, or appear to be. I feel like an evil person for thinking like this. I needed to tell the truth somewhere, and I must never do that in real life, especially not at the nursing home. Really, I shouldn't even complain to my friends about it, my views are despicable. Someone, criticize me, please!

The other job I find less repulsive, though I'm unhappy in that one too. I'm waitressing in a large hotel, which is a stressful and very much structure oriented job. It's making me mad! Everything needs to be done swiftly and efficiently, like this and this and that, and not one spoon out of place, or there will be hell to pay. Yes, that's probably the main problem, that the working environment is pretty much awful. Constant yelling, bullying, intrigues. After a while I started ignoring most of my colleagues because of the emotional strain.

Have any of you INFPs been in similar work situations? If so, how did you survive? Have anyone figured out how to switch temporarily to being SJ? I need help. How the hell will I get through this summer?!

I'm sorry about all the complaining. Ah, I can't wait to go back to being a student in the fall. I'm so much happier when my "job" is to read!

Caring for the elderly can be exhausting... I'm sure that even with the best of intentions (and love and care), its common and easy to eventually feel phases of reluctance or even resentment about all it requires of you when you are a caretaker for the elderly. You are not bad.. you are human.. I don't think you deserve any criticism for your feelings.. in fact I think its great what you are doing, even if its only temporary... and even if you aren't exactly feeling all rainbows and butterflies while you do it. Your actions are loving... for just being there to do it.

For awhile in college I volunteered in a nursing home, maybe 10 hours a week through out my freshman year? Mostly I just socialized with them, but even then sometimes I found it draining just to be there and I wasn't even doing all the tough stuff you did. For me, it was just sometimes very sad, and depressing... a few things I encountered there have been plastered into my mind and haunt me still... just.. sad images.. of the sick and dying... and I'll spare you.

And then on top of that, having another job that is demanding in a different way... I don't blame you for feeling flustered. At least its temporary. This too shall pass, right? I think the feeling is worse when you aren't sure how long you'll be in something so draining.. I've been there.

Hope you can get some breaks for fun free time in between your work schedules.