[Sonne]

INFP Women: How do you like to be approached?

Do you like being courted or do you prefer a more direct approach?



What approaches do you dislike?

What would you want someone to understand before approaching you?

Do you see yourself as the typical woman? In what way do you think you're different from other (personality) types of women?

[HeyGirl]

I like to be directly approached in a kind way because too much courtering or eye-contact can make me self-concious and can make me stop interacting which will give the guy wrong signals, because I would like to get to know him but Im too afraid to do sth wrong in that "approaching-process", so I love it when they just come to me and talk to me.

Yes, I see myself as a typical woman.

[QuestionMark]

I'm a straight INFP woman and I like being approached by men in a low-key way. I like men who are somewhat shy and sweet, who like to hang out casually for the first two or three dates and talk and get to know each other without any pressure for sex or romance. I like it when the man holds back and allows me to set the pace of the relationship. I'm much more likely to be comfortable with kissing and such when I don't feel that it's expected and it just happens naturally.

What I really don't like is a very extroverted approach initially. For example, if I'm in a coffeeshop on my laptop, or reading a book, please don't come up and say "hey, whatcha reading?" I am in introvert mode. Another thing that doesn't work is a lot of overwhelming disclosure of a guy's feelings for me at first. I was once totally into this guy, and when we started dating, he became completely obsessed with me and bombarded me with gifts and compliments, and wanted to monopolize all my time. It was too much too soon and made him seem desperate, so slow your roll, fellas, and be cool with the INFP chicks. The subtle smile is worth a thousand flowers.

[goldentryst]

Tactful, non-cheesy compliments that feed my ego/sweep me off my feet.
Courting is fun, way more fun than a direct approach.
I dislike corniness, and I dislike a guy who just comes off as way too easy.


...no matter what, do NOT let me find out that you are talking to another girl/other girls at the same time as you are with me.

I find that I'm more difficult compared to other females. Not in a good way, either. Most of the time I'm only into the "playing around" phase with guys, unless I find one that I feel I can really consider getting into a serious relationship with like now. Otherwise I just get bored and lost interest.

Basically for me: the best ones [guys] are the ones that are hardest to get.

[susurration]

I don't care for traditional courting, formalities, big affairs, games, being wooed, being put on a pedestal etc. I don't expect to be approached or pursued. If we click, we click. Coming together in mutuality and naturally.

Don't know how i'm different than other women. Don't really care to know either, heh.

[Sparkle]

I hate when men say things such as " you are so beautiful" when they are trying to approach me. To me this makes me immediately skeptical about their intentions.

I don't really think that many women like this approach. All I can say is I like for someone to try to get to know ME, not just give me a million compliments (particularly physical ones).

[thefurthest1]

I like to be complimented if it's sincere, but I can see straight through a fake compliment (so don't even try).

I want to be approached like someone wants to be my friend and takes a genuine interest me - but gently. Pushy guys will make me run and they will never hear from me again because it freaks me out and makes me uncomfortable. One of the best things someone said to me after our first conversation (who became my boyfriend...now ex) was, "I would really like to continue to get to know you." Quite simple, but it was meaningful to me.

[thecaterpillar]

I like someone to be somewhat direct, but I don't like balls-out direct. When it's cocky, the sense of humor is poor, or just straight tacky (like, "You're really hot" or "you've got great boobs") then I'm going to give you a go-to-hell look and it's best if you go away quickly. I don't like so subtle that I can't tell what's going on and I don't like the guy to be so "gentlemanly" that it hurts. I like a guy to be natural and honest. Friendly and casual. I'm not intimidating (at least not in my own eyes) and I'm not going to shoot you down hard unless you're being straight disrespectful, so there's no reason to not be natural and casual with me.

I've had guys just grab me by the arm so that I'll stop or they'll pull me to them. That is certainly NOT the way to approach me. I belong to no one, so I should not be grabbed. It feels like I'm being assaulted or treated like a piece of meat. I don't care how cool you may be or how good-looking you are, this will most certainly earn you nothing with me and I'll never speak to you. Compliments don't really work, either. It just seems to insincere. I've had a million guys compliment my eyes, my hair, or my body. It means nothing to me if you're trying to date me or get into my pants. A great sense of humor and fantastic taste in music will get you far.

What I want someone to understand when approaching me is that I'm a very nice girl who's not going to be cruel unless you're being nasty to me and treating me as someone who isn't worthy of respect. That just because I may be dressed in a certain way or look a certain way or be in a certain place doesn't mean that I'm stupid, trashy, or easy. And that I can see through bullcrap better than anyone, so be real or leave me alone.

I don't see myself as a typical woman when I compare myself to the women I know personally and the women I see portrayed on TV and movies. I don't giggle at compliments, I don't care if a guy thinks I'm hot, I don't like typical romance. I don't find chick flicks romantic, so anything that happens in those isn't going to work on me. I don't like to be wined and dined or "treated like a princess". I simply want to be treated like a human being and respected as one. That I'm more than some mammary glands and blue eyes.

And last, but not least, respect the fact that I'm married. I hate to be hit on by men who know I'm married. It infuriates me. It's as if they see me as someone trashy enough to cheat on their husband like that. No way. You can tell me I'm the kind of woman you wish you could find for yourself and you can tell me you think I'm beautiful, but don't try to actually hit on me. I'm not going to sleep with you - I'll probably kick you in the balls instead.

[SadLuckDame]

I prolly do like to do the chase. He just has to let me know (subtly where to bite),
I like a good game of hard to get, cat/mouse and keep me guessing.

What I don't like is overly attentive, complimentative, egotistical with big giant muscles
a matching t-shirt of his gleaming smile nor do I want him to be spineless and mushy, rather disgusting
and if I at all begin to form an image of him leering from a car window at my walking down the street, then there will be no romance in the park, no sir. Keep it together.

Anyway, my guy has style. He approached me on the corner of Broadway and Claire, there was a train keeping him interested. He looked over at me and smirked. I could almost believe he might have laughed at me in my hat, I thought he thought I looked too dumb to know anything about trains.

[ethylester]

Honestly, I don't like to be approached at all. I would rather do the approaching. The only way I can see liking being approached is if it is friendly and casual. If you come up to me and include me in your conversation or just chit chat about normal things like music or movies or something, that works just fine. And if you want to get my phone number and then invite me to hang out, as long as it doesn't sound like a date, I'll be cool with it. I just don't like anything obvious like "let's go out on a date" or showering me with compliments or acting romantic or anything like that. To me, that feels clingy and desperate. Not until after I tell you that I have feelings for you do I want you to be romantic or date-like. Too many guys have plunged in too fast or made me feel invaded by being direct from the getgo. I prefer to take it slow, get to know each other reasonably well, and then we can talk about dating.

Mind you, this is not the case any more since I am married. I'm just trying to remember how it used to be. :)