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This is a discussion on What makes you not like someone? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by ericajoy If I don't like how I feel when I'm around someone or if I start to ...
-Inauthenticity - TOP OF THE LIST!!
-Rule followers - this is a big one, I can't stand people who cannot think for themselves. Don't obey
-''Normal'' people, average, dullness,,
Inauthenticity like some others have posted-is my deciding factor.
Whenever I witness it it's like nails on a chalk board.
Also -sheepish people (sheeple) who have weak personalities afraid of voicing their own personal opinions. It's like you might as well be a robot if you're going to conduct yourself like that.
Loud, obnoxious, clingy, rude, disrespectful, shallow, too afraid to break the rules and follows everything that authority says. Also, I dislike people who are fake and too "generic", or too cool to have a conversation about something other then gossip. People who are stuck up or excessively immature. I especially hate people (mostly guys) who consantly talk about sex in a really crude way, constantly making sex jokes or just being annoying. People who stereotype me, or expect me to act a certain way. Most of the people I get along with are either really light hearted and funny, or they are just plain weird. I can't really say that any of my friends are normal, in any sense of the word haha. However, some of these I can ignore and will gladly try to get along with everyone. If I had it my way, I would be friends with everyone in my school. I just love people, and it really hurts me when i'm in a class with someone or around people and they don't say hi to me or try to talk to me. Even though I am quiet I always make an effort to talk to people one on one. Even though I dislike small talk I think I have mastered it. The only way you are going to end up having a deep conversation with someone is if you learn to ease into it. And it's weird but people who are too nice annoy me. Like the people who are ALWAYS happy and always smiling and bubbly. It just feels fake to me. Also, if you are arrogant or pretentious in any way I will not bother talking to you. I dislike people with big ego's and I especially hate it when they try to make it seem as if they are so much smarter then me. (example. I ask someone in math class for help, and they sneer at me and tell me to do it myself. If they can get straight A's and memorize every textbook definition why can't I?) People who are negative all the time. I feel like they drain my soul or something when i'm around them. This may seem like a long list but I am really picky with who I become close with. I used to try really hard to fit into other people's expectations of me but it made me hate myself. As a result, I have a lot less friends but am a lot more happy with myself. And the friends that I do have mean a lot more to me. Sorry if I wrote too much, I have a problem with summarizing things! But yeah basically I enjoy people who are kind, considerate and open minded, and they have to be genuine.
I cannot stand sheeple! Seriously, people need to learn to think for themselves. My parents are both sheeple, and it annoys me to no end!
What type of things does it take for a person to do to get you to not like them?
It's quite hard for me to dislike someone, as I believe that there is good inside everyone. I tend to be quite forgiving. However, if the circumstance does arise that I dislike someone... well, here are some examples for times I thought I've disliked people:
-For absolutely no logical reason what-so-ever besides that they thought I was 'annoying', someone called me names, swore at me.
-Going behind mine and other peoples backs to purposely bitch about them.. in order to gain the popularity and/or attention from others. The complete ignorance for other peoples emotions if they discovered this.
-Backstabbing- I mean the kind where even though you are the ONLY person they have, they still turn against you.
-Those who aren't enough of a friend to prevent others from going against your trust. When they seem there for you, but it seems fake, as what they say is completely negative towards all your attempts.. yet never stay out of your business.
-People who pretty much go against all the morals that you have, every fibre in your body gets annoyed with their decisions.
-Girls who disregard you pouring your heart out to them, and mess indirectly with your heart by flirting with your ex.
I'd have to say, that writing that made me feel as if I was bitching a lot. In context, however, those are pretty much the only instances so far in my life in which I've gotten very angry at a particular person.
And once you make up your mind about not particularly liking a certain person, is it pretty hard to change your mind?
For one, after I have looked over the situations logically I realise that everyone has a reason for their actions. Rather, it's these actions that I dislike more than the person themselves. I'd also say that time can lead to forgiveness, but no, I will never forget what they had done and if it occurs too frequently then I will probably not bother with the person anymore. At the last point on my list, it was most intense with her, as I couldn't stand hearing her name. No, I will probably never be as close as I once was with these people, but I would forgive them especially if I realise that they have changed.
In the past, I have tried to give people second chances. I even try to be kind no matter what even to the people who have deeply wronged me, but I have a hard time ever forgetting. When a person rubs me the wrong way, that feeling usually never fades.
I'd try to give people second chances depending on what the situation was... but sometimes that isn't possible, as it effects me too much.
Is this an INFP quality or is it just me?
You're not alone, I think :)
Many things, including:
Lack of empathy
I would say Inauthenticity, but im not authentic with people, im usually wearing a mask unless I really trust the person im with.
Ive been sheepish, again, when im around people I don't trust to listen to me.
I dont like manipulative people
people who overly critisize
people who hurt or put down others to feel better about themselves, assholes
I like people who like me, I dislike people who hate me.
I loathe people with no morals-e.g steal your bf/gf etc. etc.
People who rub me up the wrong way (you'd have to be pretty bad to do that)
And people who don't give a toss about other peoples feelings.
I hope grown beyond most petty dislikes. People are people and there are so many things I could potentially get upset about. But I give people plenty reason to get upset with me as well, so what would be the point in everyone getting mutually upset?
What I do, however, is to use my antenna for people. I adjust my social distance to everyone based on a feeling of intercompatibility which usually is reasonably accurate. Its not fool proof though, and I have to be aware of that fact and adjust where necessary.