[FreeBeer]

The MBTI is not designed to make the difference between introversion and shyness or stronger anxiety problems like AvPD.

In order for people to get a better understanding of their nature I feel this issue needs to be clarified. I have seen many INFPs saying that there is nothing good about being an INFP, that being a feeling introvert is torture and they want to change. I'm here to say that INFPs are wonderful deep and creative people who have absolutely no problems socializing, people who are confident, but at the same time like spending time alone introspecting, thinking.

If you score Ixxx and hate the I part, feel trapped by it, lonely and so on, then chances are that you are either shy and it's troubling you, or you may have some form of social anxiety, avoidant personality or some more extreme form a phobia. If this is the case then I urge you to have it diagnosed properly. Don't mistake introversion for something else.

It can be that individuals suffering from the above said problems are extroverts. The torment experience by AvPD sufferers seems to point towards that exact fact. This is not a certainty however, because both Introverts and Extroverts need social contact and alone time, introverts suffer a lot from auto-imposed isolation, just not as much.



In this post I will concentrate on avoidant personality.

AvPD

People with Avoidant personality disorder are preoccupied with their own shortcomings and form relationships with others only if they believe they will not be rejected. Loss and rejection are so painful that these individuals will choose to be lonely rather than risk trying to connect with others.

• Hypersensitivity to rejection/criticism
• Self-imposed social isolation
• Extreme shyness or anxiety in social situations, though the person feels a strong desire for close relationships
• Avoids physical contact because it has been associated with an unpleasant or painful stimulus
• Avoids interpersonal relationships
• Feelings of inadequacy
• Severe low self-esteem
• Self-loathing
• Mistrust of others
• Emotional distancing related to intimacy
• Highly self-conscious
• Self-critical about their problems relating to others
• Problems in occupational functioning
• Lonely self-perception, although others may find the relationship with them meaningful
• Feeling inferior to others
• In some more extreme cases — agoraphobia
• Utilizes fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts

Source: Avoidant personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Individuals suffering from this become introverts out of FEAR and not because they enjoy spending time introspecting and alone. Being alone and introspecting feels like hell for them, because they can not escape it. Most people with AvPD have no friends and very little to no social contact with others, they fail at doing basic things like going to class, getting a job, going to a party, a reunion and so on.

Remember you can be an introvert and not have any of these problems. Social anxiety is not the individual's own fault. This is a condition which has been inflicted upon people by others during the time when they grew up. It is however something that needs to be understood and fought against. AvPD is thought to have its origins in childhood emotional abuse, either by family, social groups or both.

I myself suffer from this, so I understand completely.

Comments are greatly appreciated. I would like to see introverts not having any of these problems discuss a bit how and why they are introverted as well.

[lirica]

I have both social anxiety and extreme shyness, but am also 100% sure that I am an introvert. I love my alone time and basically sometimes when I'm relaxed with other folks I just become all restless when around them for too long, annoyed that is. I kind of seem to lose all the anxiety and just want to be alone. Also, I rarely ever feel lonely (though there are times when I feel so like everyone else). So that's good I guess. But because of this killing combination my social skills are fairly undeveloped (which makes my social anxiety even worse). I think I could beat both the shyness and the anxiety if I could just practice these skills more. It's just that I get all clumsy and don't know what to say around new people. But this can be so bad as not wanting to get out of my own room to get something to eat because there are guests in my house O_o.

[Kriash]

I also have social anxiety, and I'm sure I'm an I as well.
Even though I long for social connections sometimes, and feel lonely often-
It's mostly because I get next to no social interaction. If I had any at all- I would be much less lonely, because I do like spending time alone, and I do need time to recharge.
On the same note, I feel like I have to say introverts can get lonely, and do need social interaction. Just because we enjoy alone time does not mean that we can live our entire lives within it.

[yoyocita]

I have nothing against being an Introvert. I don't think there's anything particularly bad about being one. But when my social phobias get in the way of what I want to do with my life, that's where there's an issue. I've always been afraid that people won't like me. It's a paralyzing fear that has resulted in me having no friends. The scariest part about it is that I have no control over it, and whenever I attempt to change my outlook I always end up going back to how I used to think. Sometimes though, I go out of my way just to fight my fear, but it never goes away. I've gotten better over the years though, because it used to be so bad that I couldn't even go to the store to buy something, I used to take zeros for projects that required presentations, whenever I missed a day at school I would never ask my teachers for make-up work, and I even gave up my dream of one day becoming a professional soccer player because I was too afraid of joining a new team. Everyone has his own fears, but people like me have to face their fear every single day. And every time I don't face my fear, life just keeps becoming worse and worse.

[FreeBeer]

I have nothing against being an Introvert. I don't think there's anything particularly bad about being one. But when my social phobias get in the way of what I want to do with my life, that's where there's an issue. I've always been afraid that people won't like me. It's a paralyzing fear that has resulted in me having no friends. The scariest part about it is that I have no control over it, and whenever I attempt to change my outlook I always end up going back to how I used to think. Sometimes though, I go out of my way just to fight my fear, but it never goes away. I've gotten better over the years though, because it used to be so bad that I couldn't even go to the store to buy something, I used to take zeros for projects that required presentations, whenever I missed a day at school I would never ask my teachers for make-up work, and I even gave up my dream of one day becoming a professional soccer player because I was too afraid of joining a new team. Everyone has his own fears, but people like me have to face their fear every single day. And every time I don't face my fear, life just keeps becoming worse and worse.

Yeah same with me. I used to be scared of buying groceries, because that involved talking to people and that was very scary. It is how you said it, the fear is there every day 24/7, 7 times a week.

However if we don't face that fear and defeat it time and time again, every day, every time it appears, then it gets stronger and stronger. The reverse is true, if we go against it on a daily basis, it will become weaker and weaker. It is part of who we are but it doesn't have to rule our lives.

I'm actually and ENFP function wise, but because of the fear it ends up being a very introverted INFP.When I push back the fear or criticism and rejection I'll change the title :).

What is helping me is this: Overcoming Social Anxiety: Step By Step <.<...>.> I didn't really buy it, but I have it, so u can have it too or u can buy it, I said nothing. Also just a mindset that I call "The fuck it mindset". Ignore the negative thoughts and cultivate positive ones. Slowly move out and do the things you are afraid of, but make sure that the ANTS (negative thoughts) don't get to you and try to let go as much as possible. With positive experiences, letting go of the negative ones and facing your fears...things will get better slowly. It will never go away completely and it's good that way, but it will get weaker and we can regain control. It's working for me, I do suffer setbacks, but I won't give up, I can't give up, because if I do then I have lost the battle for myself.

THIS is the scariest thing most of us will face in our lives. If we can push this back then we can do anything. There is nothing to fear but fear itself and the anticipation of fear - negative things. Force yourself to face it bit by bit. People who did criticize and reject us in the past are not with us now for a reason, they don't matter. Life is to short to live in fear.