[INFP] Females, what is a "woman"? Males, what is a "man"?

Females, what is a "woman"? Males, what is a "man"?

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This is a discussion on Females, what is a "woman"? Males, what is a "man"? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; When (age-wise) and how, did you realise that you had turned into a woman/man? I am legally an adult age-wise, ...

  1. #1
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    Females, what is a "woman"? Males, what is a "man"?

    When (age-wise) and how, did you realise that you had turned into a woman/man? I am legally an adult age-wise, but I still don't feel like I'm mature enough to label myself as a "woman" due to my limited life experiences. I wonder if there will ever be an "aha!" moment or whether one just never feels "mature enough" because they are constantly learning from their experiences in life.

    Note: Females being people who identify as being female and males being people who identify as being male.

    I'm also of the opinion that people are entitled to have their opinions heard whether or not I agree with them so play nice please No personal attacking on people who may state what in your opinion, is a controversial or wrong view.
    Stolen, JerseyDevil and unico thanked this post.

  2. #2
    INTP - The Thinkers

    At first, when I saw this thread I was thinking "OH NO, SHITSTORM INCOMING", but it turns out to be an innocent thread.

    As for myself, I'm not sure if maturity can be gender specific, but I'm 18 and I'm no where near ready for a full-blown adult life. I think maturity comes when you develop cognizance of who you are, have a deep understanding of your own strengths and weaknesses, and are ready to think for yourself.

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    I feel like I became a man over the past 2 years. I have not had an "aha!" moment where I said "I'm a man now!", although I feel like I had a bunch of mini-revelations until finally I got to a point where I could look at myself in the mirror one day and be satisfied that I was a responsible adult who is able to take charge when needed, and that I was no longer the immature and irresponsible child now. I think there is a fundamental shift in how you carry yourself when you go from being a boy/girl to man/woman.

    I think one of the biggest things as far as little moments of clarity was realizing that I didn't know a damn thing. I still don't, I just know now that I don't I think all these words take on new meaning once you get there and only adults fully appreciate what I'm saying here, regardless of how someone younger is able to process it logically and "understand" what I just said. Although brief, I now understand the value of experience to go along with maturity, and I think this only grows as you get older. So now in retrospect, I feel like an obnoxious punk when I thought I knew better than people over twice my age as a 20 year old.
    faeriegal713, Indigo Aria, Elysia and 4 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    ISFP - The Artists

    I'm 20 now, and I think I am mostly there...and JerseyDevil summed it up pretty succinctly. I was a little kid two years ago, but I've realized just how much I don't know, and what it really takes to survive in this world, and that I really don't have all the answers. I'm actually looking to move out ASAP, I am just looking for the means to do it.
    Elysia and Stolen thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    Forever fluid between the two terms (woman/child)...I can't even assign an age to it. People have simultaneously called me "an old soul" and "child at heart" for my whole life. I think I'll continue to feel like both a woman and a girl for the rest of my life. Which I'm quite happy with.
    faeriegal713, Pachacutie, Elysia and 4 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    Unknown Personality

    Okay, I'm gonna ignore the whole male/female/man/woman thingy and just go with adult.
    I still don't feel like I'm really an adult even though I'm 21.

    Granted, I sort of grew up at an early age...
    I think that is one of the reasons why I have a hard time fully letting go of my childlike-ness.

    I regularly have to remind myself that I am an adult.
    It just baffles me.
    Age and gender and stuff.

    I'm old and I'm young.
    Ancient soul, youthful spirit. Forever.
    Roze, Elysia, ii V I and 3 others thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    I base the label gender based on private parts,

    but I base the probability of behaviors on hormone levels in the sense of gender, as well as social conditioning, as well as values, etc...

    Here is one myth you probably don't know.

    Women can gain strength as fast as men. (if done properly, with no gain in size)

    Testosterone effects aggressiveness (harder workout at times), but does not do the job of Growth Hormone, which builds muscles.

    There are other hormones involved as well.

    Bruce Lee had a small frame size, and could beat up anyone in the world.

    Chinese usually have small frame sizes

    If we same women have smaller frames, and therefore have less muscle,


    Muscle is only one factor of strength (the other is power production (we only usually use 50% of our muscles))

    And strength is only one factor of skill.

    Take it how you want to.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    ... adulthood seems to me to be in constant flux.

    eventually, there's the point where you hit and finish puberty... most basic identification of adulthood. perhaps a few years later of increased brain development before everything settles down.

    in terms of human perception, however...

    a lot of people (certainly not all) strive to be an adult when they're kids. there's only so long before you get sick of being talked down to so often. a kid will likely accept adulthood extremely early in their life, regardless of physical/mental development.

    after whatever official age your country deems to be an adult, strikes me that most people find it bewildering or underwhelming, and kindasorta accept adulthood but are unsure about it. some accept it readily.

    this quickly enough leads to the flux i was talking about. eventually, your cockiness gets you to think you know so much and are so bloody mature... until, perhaps, a few years later you either have a revelation, or simply look back on how you've changed, and conclude that you were just a kid earlier.

    repeat every handful of years or so until you die.

    the *ideal* of adulthood is something many people strive for, but never permanently attain.

    realistically... adults arent wise. they arent smart. they arent strong. they arent capable. they're not the opposite of these, either... not definitively. they're just an awkward mess, a mix and match of many qualities and failures.

    just like they were when they were a kid.
    starrapture, Pachacutie, Mumbo Jumbo and 2 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    I'll often say, "When I grow up..."

    One of my cousins (seven years younger) rolls her eyes and responds that I'm already grown up.

    This may have started as early as age 15 for me (8 for her) and continued to this day (she is 14; I am 21). I avoid the phrase around her, but it still slips out at times.

    I've always felt that I had to be older than I was. (See above, seven-years-younger cousin.) At school, I was the youngest in my grade and felt the need to "prove" myself. At home, I had a two-years-younger sister (always more mature than me because she is aware and has common sense, less mature because she is anxious and unadaptive) that I needed to set an example for, look out for, act older than. I became an aunt at age six. At age ten, I was about a foot taller than everyone I hung out with. I was also very ambitious (Attempting to sell leaves and scribbles at age two. Dreaming of becoming a famous pianist at age three. Trying to find 'the one' at age four. Trying to start businesses with friends in second and third grades. Incredibly proud of reading at a fifth grade level in third grade.).

    Well, I'm 21, and I haven't done anything special. Ages don't matter as much as they once did. The people I dwarfed are now taller than me. I pass for fourteen. I am not responsible for any other people (single, no children). So, I figure, this is a great time to exploit being able to act like a child.

    As for when a girl becomes a woman, I've posed this question to many women before. Most of them say that it happened sometime after they had children and was more of an "Oh, I'm a woman now" than an "Aha! I'm a woman now!" Womanhood snuck up on them while they were too busy living their lives to notice.
    krentz, ii V I, Somniorum and 5 others thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    I don't know. I am male, I am an adult but there was never a moment where I said I am a man. Not when I lost my virginty, not when I had my first apartment with my my first true girlfriend, not when I brought my first car. There are no events in my life that made me take notice of me entering into manhood. I just want to be me and live accordingly. If I have any responsibilities I will tend to them to the best of my abilities on my way.
    Stillwater, Roze, Elysia and 2 others thanked this post.

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