[susurration]

What are some things you've observed about people.... while sitting on a bus? or watching internet forums? or in your daily interactions with people?






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Today I was sitting on a packed bus. There was a young woman (17 or 18) who had a pram with a toddler in it and another young child. Three ladies that were sitting in the only seat left that can fit a pram did not get up and move. The young woman did not say a thing, but just stood up with the pram.

I observed how another older lady with a pram managed to get a seat, and inferred that the status of the young woman was lower than that of the ladies who did not offer their seats, and also the older woman who had the child. I also inferred some things about the young ladies personality, and those who did not elect to move. Very rarely did the ladies sitting down look at the young girl- it was as if it was "out of sight, out of mind". So too did the young woman who chose to look out the window.

I could tell the young ladies daughter was an extravert. I was making gestures to her, and she was responding. We waved, and even spoke as I got off. She was also interacting with the other children on the bus after I initiated with her. As if she had just learned something from me about interacting with people on buses.

I noticed all the parents looked very tired. One lady even looked sad, and the juxtaposition between her jumpy, curious child and her smiling, but sad face was quite distinct. I also noticed how the parents tended to look outside the bus wearily, while their children were looking up at them and all around them.

We were all on this packed bus, and I tried to imagine how even though we were in such close proximity, we were all in our own separate universes. Why is it that we don't tend to engage with people even though we may be sitting so close to each other? I did not even look over to acknowledge the girl sitting next to me.

Today while at the shops, I also came across this old asian lady who I see regularly. She always has shopping bags, a trolly or cart (that are twice the size of her) with her. She is quite small and she has crazy grey hair and always wears this distinct pair of sunglasses. She is always alone, and tends to buy food only enough for herself. I relate to her just by her general appearance and ambiance. I can see that she is quite independent, and is quite solitary. She always looks like she's thinking.

[Alberiana]

When a bus is totally empty and people enter for the first time, they always choose to sit alone until all seats in a single grouping are occupied by at least one person and then people start sitting next to each other or in groups. Always happens like that. For a species, with advanced ways of communication, we always wish to be left alone. I hope would someday realize the reasoning and higher truth in their actions.

[susurration]

When a bus is totally empty and people enter for the first time, they always choose to sit alone until all seats in a single grouping are occupied by at least one person and then people start sitting next to each other or in groups. Always happens like that. For a species, with advanced ways of communication, we always wish to be left alone. I hope would someday realize the reasoning and higher truth in their actions.

I notice that in every place where people file in and have to find a place. Not just buses, but trains, classrooms. Interesting how we have to have our own sense of 'place' in a space with other people.

Do you ever speculate about peoples personalities, their feelings towards others based on where they elect to sit, and also assess how fast they approach a particular place, where they look, etc?

[Alberiana]

I notice that in every place where people file in and have to find a place. Not just buses, but trains, classrooms. Interesting how we have to have our own sense of 'place' in a space with other people.

Do you ever speculate about peoples personalities, their feelings towards others based on where they elect to sit, and also assess how fast they approach a particular place, where they look, etc?

Yes, you are quiet right, its just not the bus but rather everywhere. I certainly do observe but its hard to deduce any conclusions, how some people in a crowded bus just sit at the first seat they find empty somewhere at the front of bus, while some rather like to push their way through to the end of the bus to see if a seat is available. Some people just choose to stand, even if there are a lot of empty seats. As an INFP you see a lot of possibilities, its hard to pinpoint to one solid reason.

[Yourlovelyquinn]

When I take the bus, I do go for the first available seat that is empty. For a few reasons, I don't want to sit next to someone and invade their personal bubble. Another, I don't want to sit next to someone who is going to talk my ears off or try to follow me home (I attract the strangest people). Mostly, I choose the seats that are empty because I have already observed the whole bus and saw no welcoming faces.

I observe everything. Especially when eating alone at a restaurant. Watching people at other tables, that are in a group of 3 or more. I've noticed that when they order their food, they change their faces and voices, and put on a different persona to order their food. Sometimes they make their voice louder and a little more high-pitched. It reminds me of an actor.

The whole time, they are talking to their friends/family and then when the waiter/waitress comes by, their face/voice completely change. And when they are done ordering, they go back to what they were doing. I have pointed this out with friends and family. They don't ever realize they are doing it. But I know that I don't do it. It's such a strange thing and it often keeps me distracted when I am out with friends or family.

Has anyone else noticed this?

[thecaterpillar]

I have to say that in the first situation, I would be upset with the women who didn't get up and let the lady with the children sit down. No matter her age, someone who is encumbered should get a seat. I've seen people not give a pregnant woman a seat. I have very bad hip problems, but I've been known to get up and let an older person, pregnant woman, or person carrying young children have my seat. I expect everyone else to behave the same, even though I notice not many people really choose to do this. In the same thing, though, I never take a seat that is offered. MAYBE once or twice, but rarely do I. I hate to be a burden... I'm so damn fickle.

I watch people all.the.time. That's kinda' my thing. I love to watch people and figure out their mood. I can usually feel what a person is feeling. Like, if someone is sad I can feel it or if they're nervous or happy. I like to watch interactions between people and try to suss out their relationship and who it is working out. But, if I'm alone at a restaurant, I'm reading and eating so I don't watch anyone - I prefer to lose myself in my literary world.

As far as my interactions with waitstaff versus the people at my table... I'm always really nice and friendly to the waitstaff, because I've worked in customer service for long enough to know that they need all the encouragement they can get b/c 9 times out of 10 they're being treated like crap by everyone else (or by their boss). If I'm mad with someone I'm eating with or discussing something that makes me mad, I'm going to change my demeanor with the waitstaff. Why? Because they don't need to feel my negativity or else they may think I'm upset with them and their service.

[Lad]

I've always been a people watcher, but I've fine-tuned it using some behavioral psychology (degree) tricks I've learned. Specifically, this means that I know how to read mannerisms and by extension, see a 2nd conversation that's going on between people interacting.

As for the soloists (loners) that come on, I rarely pay attention to them, but I can usually spot a 'victim' // or 'offender' (have a Criminal Profiling background), a mile away.

I'll pay the most attention to romantic relationships though. Sometimes you see two people interacting with this unbelievable bond, other times you'll see a couple with half-hearted handholding (if even), general disconnect, and just basically just loneliness even though they're in a relationship.

[TreeHugger]

I love people watching, but its more in a wondering where they're going kinda way. I always wonder what different peoples names are what they're lives are like etc obviously I never actually get to find out. I find it fascinating how everyone I walk past on the street has had a different life, theyve all experienced different things.
When I was younger I used to sit in coffee shops or even restaurants when I was out with other people and listen to others conversations without looking at them, make up in my head what I thought they'd look like then turn around to see if anything I guessed was correct :p

[Yourlovelyquinn]

I have to say that in the first situation, I would be upset with the women who didn't get up and let the lady with the children sit down. No matter her age, someone who is encumbered should get a seat. I've seen people not give a pregnant woman a seat. I have very bad hip problems, but I've been known to get up and let an older person, pregnant woman, or person carrying young children have my seat. I expect everyone else to behave the same, even though I notice not many people really choose to do this. In the same thing, though, I never take a seat that is offered. MAYBE once or twice, but rarely do I. I hate to be a burden... I'm so damn fickle.

I watch people all.the.time. That's kinda' my thing. I love to watch people and figure out their mood. I can usually feel what a person is feeling. Like, if someone is sad I can feel it or if they're nervous or happy. I like to watch interactions between people and try to suss out their relationship and who it is working out. But, if I'm alone at a restaurant, I'm reading and eating so I don't watch anyone - I prefer to lose myself in my literary world.

As far as my interactions with waitstaff versus the people at my table... I'm always really nice and friendly to the waitstaff, because I've worked in customer service for long enough to know that they need all the encouragement they can get b/c 9 times out of 10 they're being treated like crap by everyone else (or by their boss). If I'm mad with someone I'm eating with or discussing something that makes me mad, I'm going to change my demeanor with the waitstaff. Why? Because they don't need to feel my negativity or else they may think I'm upset with them and their service.

I'm the same way with feelings. Like they wont show it on their face, but their mood is radiating off of them. It's quite interesting.

And as for the waiters, I am very nice when I order. The difference is that my voice doesn't go up very high and I don't give a brutally happy smile. lol.

[RabbitHeart]

I've noticed in classes that people will sit with people they look similar to.

My psychology class has a walkway between two clumps of tables and there is a large group of girls who are between 18-25 sitting together on the left. From what I could gather, most of them didn't know anyone else in the class but most of them seem extroverted and made friends with each other easily. They dress themselves up quite a bit before going out in public and whisper and talk the whole lecture. On the right side, where I sit, there are a couple of quiet girls who seem to roll out of bed (like me), a few early college (high school students) and older people. The only boy in the class sits on the left side. Not surprising. And the younger girls, I think, are less intimidated by the right side of the room.

It's interesting and seems to be a pattern.

I work with children at an after school program and I pick up so many vibes from them about who they're going to be in the future. At every school I work at, there are always the outgoing kids who seem kind and get along with everyone, the outgoing kids who seem unkind and judgemental but determined to entertain, the quiet kids who are pleasant and want to help me learn the way their school works but seem to have trouble getting along with the other kids (normally due to telling on them), and the quiet kids who color wonderful pictures and seem really intelligent. It's fun to watch them all interact, because it really seems that they can all be friends as long as they don't come on too strong and they have similar interests. Sometimes they'll all be friends when they're ganging up on me.