[dreamer 1977]

People with AvPD are preoccupied with their own shortcomings and form relationships with others only if they believe they will not be rejected. Loss and rejection are so painful that these individuals will choose to be lonely rather than risk trying to connect with others.

* Hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection
* Self-imposed social isolation
* Extreme shyness or anxiety in social situations, though feels a strong desire for close relationships[3]
* Avoids physical contact because it has been associated with an unpleasant or painful stimulus
* Avoids interpersonal relationships
* Feelings of inadequacy
* Severe low self-esteem
* Self-loathing
* Mistrust of others
* Emotional distancing related to intimacy
* Highly self-conscious
* Self-critical about their problems relating to others
* Problems in occupational functioning
* Lonely self-perception, although others may find the relationship with them meaningful
* Feeling inferior to others
* In some more extreme cases — agoraphobia
* Utilizes fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts[4]



That definitely describes me.

Edit: Ok, maybe not.

[northernsky]

No, I don't, but my ex-husband has it.

[Sliver]

Yeah, I do.
And I absolutely hate it.

[chelsea89]

Hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection

I'm quite sensitive to it and fear rejection but I wouldn't say I'm hypersensitive to it.

Self-imposed social isolation

Yes when I was younger. Hasn't really happened for past few years.

Extreme shyness or anxiety in social situations, though feels a strong desire for close relationships

I feel extreme anxiety thinking about the social situation and sometimes will bail at the last minute. I do alright in social situations.

Avoids physical contact because it has been associated with an unpleasant or painful stimulus

Not really. I avoid physical contact because I'm not sure how others will react but I don't really have a problem with it.

Avoids interpersonal relationships

Not really.

Feelings of inadequacy

Yes. It comes and goes actually. But it can be quite crippling sometimes.

Severe low self-esteem

I wouldn't say severe. I avoid situations where I might get my already low self esteem even lower.

Self-loathing

It all depends on my mood. I can fluctuate between loving myself to wishing I could just die.

Mistrust of others

I wouldn't say I mistrust others but I'm constantly analyzing what they do. I generally give people the benefit of the doubt though.

Emotional distancing related to intimacy

Yes to an extent.

Highly self-conscious

Oh yes. I'm better than I used to be but I'm still very self conscious.

Problems in occupational functioning

If I'm in a negative mood.

Lonely self-perception, although others may find the relationship with them meaningful

As of now, I can think of only one person who might say that their relationship is meaningful. I don't think in my case, it is a self perception.

Feeling inferior to others

To an extent yes but not to the point that it affects my dealings with other people.

In some more extreme cases — agoraphobia

No.

Utilizes fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts

Very true.

I don't think I have it though unless its a mild case.

[Blue Butterfly]

Yes, I relate to that very much. I have been this way all my life. But life is painful and I have had a lot of bad experences with people.

[buddyhollyfan]

I become like this, if I'm dealing with a lot of pain. In some form I've been avoidant my whole life.

It gets easier when you work on yourself and try to work yourself through the pain.

I'm trying to learn to be more assertive and practical. This mindset is helping. I'm also trying not to be so ashamed of my flaws and focus more on my strengths. I'm F smart, not T smart. It's just the way it is.

[Red Panda]

My INTP boyfriend has it and I'm trying to support him into seeking help but it is very hard to deal with, I've researched about it and spoken to a few people who has it online. It's definitely a very difficult disorder to deal with, perhaps one of the hardest as I've read psychologists say...
Some people confuse it with anxiety disorders, but this is much more extreme.
You can ask me more if you like, preferably by PMs... not that I'm an expert but oh well...

[dreamer 1977]

On second thought, I think I just have anxiety issues. I've read more into this disorder and it seems really serious. I'd know if I had it or not.

I might have those symptoms but only mildly, like chelsea89.

Will need to have a professional opinion, obviously.

[Red Panda]

On second thought, I think I just have anxiety issues. I've read more into this disorder and it seems really serious. I'd know if I had it or not.

I might have those symptoms but only mildly, like chelsea89.

Will need to have a professional opinion, obviously.

If you can bring yourself to go to a professional then it's almost sure that you don't have AvPD. People with that disorder are terrified even at the thought of talking to someone about what they feel. My boyfriend rarely speaks to me about that and when he does he is very nervous and scared that I might say something demeaning about his feelings. It's very hard for an Avoidant to trust anyone, they are constantly thinking about how others will judge them.
Since I too have mild anxiety issues I can identify with him a bit, but it's much much more extreme.

[dreamer 1977]

If you can bring yourself to go to a professional then it's almost sure that you don't have AvPD. People with that disorder are terrified even at the thought of talking to someone about what they feel. My boyfriend rarely speaks to me about that and when he does he is very nervous and scared that I might say something demeaning about his feelings. It's very hard for an Avoidant to trust anyone, they are constantly thinking about how others will judge them.
Since I too have mild anxiety issues I can identify with him a bit, but it's much much more extreme.

Ok, I'm definitely not an Avoidant then.

How is your boyfriend's treatment (or lack of) going? Any therapy?