[Rose of Sharon]

Fellow INFPs:



Are you trigger happy when it comes to commitment towards another or do you tend to take your time?

Thoughts?

[Lad]

I won't do casual dating whatsoever and I will not even have a 1st date unless I believe there's some strong chemistry there before hand.

With that said, every girl I have dated has turned into a long and serious relationship.
So, huge huge huge walls at the beginning, but the commitment after that comes really easily and quickly (short of dropping down on one knee -- that's the biggest wall of em all!).

[ptarmigan]

The question could benefit from your willingness to consider it in greater complexity or thoroughness.

[Rose of Sharon]

The question could benefit from your willingness to consider it in greater complexity or thoroughness.

Well, obviously things are always extremely complicated and every situation is different. I suppose I am just looking for a general status quo that we INFPs feel. Maybe the question is just too broad. Sorry if it is... I just wanted to leave it as open ended as possible and allow people to elaborate only if they wished.

[ptarmigan]

Well, obviously things are always extremely complicated and every situation is different. I suppose I am just looking for a general status quo that we INFPs feel. Maybe the question is just too broad. Sorry if it is... I just wanted to leave it as open ended as possible and allow people to elaborate only if they wished.

My impression is that the question betrays not a small amount of feeling about how you yourself would identify, and that you would for that reason hook primarily those with the same sentiment. You equate quickness to commit (however that is defined) with "trigger happy", while equating slowness to commit with something quite a bit more attractive. How you bait the line will surely determine the kind of fish you catch. So even if it is a broad question, there may be some sense in which it is narrow too.

[Rose of Sharon]

My impression is that the question betrays not a small amount of feeling about how you yourself would identify, and that you would for that reason hook primarily those with the same sentiment. You equate quickness to commit (however that is defined) with "trigger happy", while equating slowness to commit with something quite a bit more attractive. How you bait the line will surely determine the kind of fish you catch. So even if it is a broad question, there may be some sense in which it is narrow too.

Wow. Such analysis...

Hmm.... I didn't really hope to hear from people one way or the other. I'm not really searching for any potential mates on here. I myself am one to commit very early on.... assuming I feel very deeply for someone. So, my use of trigger happy was more just a phrase I thought people might relate to and not necessarily what I would prefer in a mate.

[FreeBeer]

What Lad said, sort of the same.

I'm always open for any possibility, but if i don't feel it, then nothing is going to happen , i'm stubborn that way. Sometimes it does just "hit" me, love is sneaky that way!

[sarek]

I have not much experience, in fact my gf is my one true love so far. And in fact that characterizes the whole me. When I am going for a relationship that is a 100% thing. I am hot or cold, never lukewarm. The feeling is there, or its not.

[glisten]

My problem is that I usually need to be friends with someone before getting into a relationship, and I can never seem to find men who want to do that. I had one boyfriend who asked me to be "exclusive" after I had known him two weeks. Because I didn't feel any emotional intimacy, it ended very quickly after that. Essentially, I feel that sexual intimacy should only come after emotional intimacy... If it comes first, it may be all that's focused on.

Once I'm in it, though, I'm completely in it - my whole heart, my whole being. Granted, I don't necessarily tell people this because I think it might scare them off

[wisdom]

I won't go for it unless I believe it could be very good in the areas that matter to me. I'll internally debate it for a while, then sometimes I will impulsively make a move, just to stop the mental turmoil. That move usually is triggered by an obvious sign of mutual interest. I'm talking as though this happens often. I wish, or I wish I didn't need it to happen.