[Dotti600]

Hi, I'm new here.
I just realized this about myself and I'm guessing that a lot of INFP's are like this about their friends.



When I have a potentional "best friend" I stay friends with them for years, but over the years I can't help but notice more and more things about that person that bothers me but I keep it to myself for a long time. I keep it to myself because I'm scared it will hurt the other person's feelings and fear that there will be a conflict.
Once I can't stand the person, anymore, I can't bring myself to do anything about it but to just give them the cold shoulder and just.. stop talking to them completely and wait until they figure it out and just.. change. Lol..I hold grudges.
I really hate it about myself and I've done it to three of my past good friends. I'm actually doing this to one of my current "best friend" but when she blew up on me and then asked if I wanted to be her friend or not but I just said "I'll think about it" and pretty much gave up on our friendship. If I'm not happy with how she is, why should I continue to stay friends? I know it sounds selfish, but it's just how I've always been. *shrugs*
Is anyone else like this? I'd like to meet some INFP's like myself. :)

[TreeBob]

There are multiple threads on this subject already. You guys certainly have a knack for it. You do it to friends and boyfriends. I love you guys but really really hate that.

Welcome by the way.

Oh also, could you please increase your small INFP font size? Thanks.

[Dotti600]

There are multiple threads on this subject already. You guys certainly have a knack for it. You do it to friends and boyfriends. I love you guys but really really hate that.

Welcome by the way.

Oh also, could you please increase your small INFP font size? Thanks.

Geez. Sorry I didn't know that. But thanks for the welcome.;

[TreeBob]

Geez. Sorry I didn't know that. But thanks for the welcome.;

Nah it's ok you are still sexy

[dragoon84]

I know where you're coming from OP. The more I get to know anyone, the more their flaws pop out at me. Its normal though as we get to know anyone. We have to learn to let certain things slide, like other peoples' bad or flawed traits. It can be hard for an INFP, because we're already dealing with all sorts of real and perceived sleights against us.

I had a fight with my mom about this, recently. She was getting on my nerves all the time, with her cutesy voices and singing all the time in the other room, so we had a fight, I said a lot of stuff, and felt bad about it the next day. Now, I don't quite feel so bad, and our relationship as mother and son isn't destroyed.

We need to set aside our peacemaking nature and just fight for ourselves sometimes. Its hard, but its good to be selfish from time to time.

[Dotti600]

I know where you're coming from OP. The more I get to know anyone, the more their flaws pop out at me. Its normal though as we get to know anyone. We have to learn to let certain things slide, like other peoples' bad or flawed traits. It can be hard for an INFP, because we're already dealing with all sorts of real and perceived sleights against us.

I had a fight with my mom about this, recently. She was getting on my nerves all the time, with her cutesy voices and singing all the time in the other room, so we had a fight, I said a lot of stuff, and felt bad about it the next day. Now, I don't quite feel so bad, and our relationship as mother and son isn't destroyed.

We need to set aside our peacemaking nature and just fight for ourselves sometimes. Its hard, but its good to be selfish from time to time.

Thanks for posting your opinion. :) It is hard to tell the person off about something that's been bothering you if you're an INFP I even told my friend "honesty isn't always so great, I know. And I know it sounds selfish that I seem to not care to improve our friendship anymroe, but sometimes a person has to think about themself" and she took it extremely negatively. She thought I was starting a huge fight against her and immedietely started to defend herself. -.- She was like "I TRIED to apologize to you and you just won't accept it, you just want to keep fighting, stop being a drama queen" I realy want to tell her, "if you know me well enough, a plain apology isn't all that takes" but I don't want to be a "drama queen" xD

[matilda]

I do the exact same thing. I don't know why it's so hard for me to NOT cut people off.

Worn out, tired, jaded, I've tried out all the words; none seem to fit.

[Harley]

Hi, I'm new here.
I just realized this about myself and I'm guessing that a lot of INFP's are like this about their friends.

When I have a potentional "best friend" I stay friends with them for years, but over the years I can't help but notice more and more things about that person that bothers me but I keep it to myself for a long time. I keep it to myself because I'm scared it will hurt the other person's feelings and fear that there will be a conflict.
Once I can't stand the person, anymore, I can't bring myself to do anything about it but to just give them the cold shoulder and just.. stop talking to them completely and wait until they figure it out and just.. change. Lol..I hold grudges.
I really hate it about myself and I've done it to three of my past good friends. I'm actually doing this to one of my current "best friend" but when she blew up on me and then asked if I wanted to be her friend or not but I just said "I'll think about it" and pretty much gave up on our friendship. If I'm not happy with how she is, why should I continue to stay friends? I know it sounds selfish, but it's just how I've always been. *shrugs*
Is anyone else like this? I'd like to meet some INFP's like myself. :)

Gah, my INXP stepsis used to be like that to me, whenever she had a problem with me she never discussed it outright she had to be so passive-aggressive about it lol. I remember when I used to borrow her magazines and not return them to her room, instead of confronting me about it she just posts a note on her stack of mags that said "please do not remove from pile. I have marked to bottom of all the front covers with permanent marker to ensure ownership." HA! I remember laughing at that, and continued to read her magazines without her consent

[Dotti600]

Gah, my INXP stepsis used to be like that to me, whenever she had a problem with me she never discussed it outright she had to be so passive-aggressive about it lol. I remember when I used to borrow her magazines and not return them to her room, instead of confronting me about it she just posts a note on her stack of mags that said "please do not remove from pile. I have marked to bottom of all the front covers with permanent marker to ensure ownership." HA! I remember laughing at that, and continued to read her magazines without her consent

Haha, my mom does stuff like that. She wants ownership of everything. xD

[Liontiger]

I've actually done something like this as an INTP. It doesn't occur all that frequently (or with my very best friend), but it does happen. I get so excited about a new friend that I always see the best in them. Even if the flaws are glaringly obvious, they can do no wrong. Then the honeymoon period starts to fade and the little things that annoy me start to come out. I can't really say, "you annoy me, I don't really like you all that much anymore," so I just kind of distance myself and let the relationship 'naturally' die. I can think of about 3 friends I've done this to, and I feel kinda crappy about it.

The thing is, though, I usually end up going back to them. It's just a matter of restarting the relationship with a new perspective, and accepting them with all their flaws right from the get-go.