[Happy]

Hi, I'm new here.
I just realized this about myself and I'm guessing that a lot of INFP's are like this about their friends.

When I have a potentional "best friend" I stay friends with them for years, but over the years I can't help but notice more and more things about that person that bothers me but I keep it to myself for a long time. I keep it to myself because I'm scared it will hurt the other person's feelings and fear that there will be a conflict.
Once I can't stand the person, anymore, I can't bring myself to do anything about it but to just give them the cold shoulder and just.. stop talking to them completely and wait until they figure it out and just.. change. Lol..I hold grudges.
I really hate it about myself and I've done it to three of my past good friends. I'm actually doing this to one of my current "best friend" but when she blew up on me and then asked if I wanted to be her friend or not but I just said "I'll think about it" and pretty much gave up on our friendship. If I'm not happy with how she is, why should I continue to stay friends? I know it sounds selfish, but it's just how I've always been. *shrugs*
Is anyone else like this? I'd like to meet some INFP's like myself. :)

I hope you don't mind me making your font larger, it was too small for my eyes. You are not alone in your way of thinking. Most NF's I know hold grudges because they take things too personally. I know I use to until I figured out that I am the sexiest man alive and everyone is just jealous! jkjk. In all seriousness though, the best way to not hold a grudge is to not take things too personally. Forgive and forget is what I always say. I know its difficult for you INFPs, maybe NF's in general but you must do so to keep your friendship thriving!

[Harley]

I've actually done something like this as an INTP. It doesn't occur all that frequently (or with my very best friend), but it does happen. I get so excited about a new friend that I always see the best in them. Even if the flaws are glaringly obvious, they can do no wrong. Then the honeymoon period starts to fade and the little things that annoy me start to come out. I can't really say, "you annoy me, I don't really like you all that much anymore," so I just kind of distance myself and let the relationship 'naturally' die. I can think of about 3 friends I've done this to, and I feel kinda crappy about it.

The thing is, though, I usually end up going back to them. It's just a matter of restarting the relationship with a new perspective, and accepting them with all their flaws right from the get-go.

I do this too, but once I leave a relationship of any kind I never go back. The only kind of friendships that seem to last with me are ones with really extroverted types who call me and interact with me frequently, since I almost never initiate contact with anybody.

[Liontiger]

I do this too, but once I leave a relationship of any kind I never go back. The only kind of friendships that seem to last with me are ones with really extroverted types who call me and interact with me frequently, since I almost never initiate contact with anybody.

See, those are the ones I go back to. The extraverts just come over to me with puppy dog eyes and exhuberance and I just have to give in My best friend of 7 years is an extravert and she doesn't give me the chance to pull away

[matilda]

See, those are the ones I go back to. The extraverts just come over to me with puppy dog eyes and exhuberance and I just have to give in My best friend of 7 years is an extravert and she doesn't give me the chance to pull away

Yeah, but doesn't it happen again and again and again and isn't the quality (for lack of a better word) of the friendship lost?

[Liontiger]

Yeah, but doesn't it happen again and again and again and isn't the quality (for lack of a better word) of the friendship lost?

I guess it really depends on the case. One time, my friendship was strengthened. Another time, the nature of the relationship just changed. I'm currently doing it to one of my friends (on the internet) that I've known for a long time, but I don't see that one building itself up to what it was.

I mean, I can't related directly because I'm not an INFP. But I do know that if you want it to work/it's meant to work, it can happen. You just have to use the time you spend away from that person in order to process things, like what they really mean to you and who they really are as a person. Chances are, you'll find what drew you to them in the first place and reconnect with a leveler head.

[thehigher]

Keep studying the mbti and I am sure those grudges will gradually become empathy muscle.

[Clairière de Seigle]

The thing is, though, I usually end up going back to them. It's just a matter of restarting the relationship with a new perspective, and accepting them with all their flaws right from the get-go.

I do the same thing, usually.

I give people the cold-shoulder without entirely realizing it, anyways. It's just my reaction when a friendship starts to kind of suck or annoy me or loose all of its thunder or whatever. I'm also bad at keeping in contact with friends; I'll hang out with them and then not text or message or anything for two weeks and text them and ask them if they wanna go hang out again, which they don't ever say anything about, but it probably is annoying and weird to them.

I don't do anything on purpose, though. lol. It just sorta happens.

[Ninja]

I tell people how they are pissing me off. They piss me off due to their non progressive ideas and actions. Things that hold them back from being better people and realizing who they are and what they want. To hold it back, is to hold back my own progress and the endless flow of my own thoughts. It's as if I can't move forward unless I express in some way.

[pianopraze]

I do this too, but once I leave a relationship of any kind I never go back. The only kind of friendships that seem to last with me are ones with really extroverted types who call me and interact with me frequently, since I almost never initiate contact with anybody.

See, those are the ones I go back to. The extraverts just come over to me with puppy dog eyes and exhuberance and I just have to give in My best friend of 7 years is an extravert and she doesn't give me the chance to pull away

+1

Besides I'm constantly changing inside and growing as a person. After a while the person they knew no longer exists, and they don't want to accept change.

[Dotti600]

I do the same thing, usually.

I give people the cold-shoulder without entirely realizing it, anyways. It's just my reaction when a friendship starts to kind of suck or annoy me or loose all of its thunder or whatever. I'm also bad at keeping in contact with friends; I'll hang out with them and then not text or message or anything for two weeks and text them and ask them if they wanna go hang out again, which they don't ever say anything about, but it probably is annoying and weird to them.

I don't do anything on purpose, though. lol. It just sorta happens.

I do that with my extrovert friends. :P I'll be hanging out with them that day and once I'm going home they're like "call/text me!" and I'm like "okay" and don't talk to them ever until the next time we hang out. I'm scared that I'll bother them if I ever do try to talk to them ^_^; They're always talking to their other extrovert friends, why should I interupt them?