i just had pizza and coke at midnight, gotta stop eating so late
This is a discussion on Thread of Random Thoughts and Ideas within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; i just had pizza and coke at midnight, gotta stop eating so late...
i just had pizza and coke at midnight, gotta stop eating so late
I almost died tonight. 1:15 am, Glenwood Avenue around North Minneapolis. I'm driving around a curve right by my boyfriends house. The speed limit is 30. As I'm coming around the curve, I see headlights, then I see that he's whipping around the curve (in the opposite direction), because he's going probably 60 or 70. He manages to avoid me, then I heard the sirens and saw the lights. Nine police cars followed after him. He didn't get more than a few yards further when he apparently veered off into the local park (one with swings and everything). When we drove by again after leaving his house, Andy says he saw that he'd crashed through three trees. We are assuming he's dead. I'm waiting to hear something on the news.
What's weirder is all I can think about is, if I hadn't been passing him at that moment in time, maybe he at least wouldn't have lost control in the wrong direction and, you know...died.
I almost died yesterday too! It was a similar situation as yours. I was going around a curve where there was a drop on my side of the road and all of a sudden a semi is coming right at me, driving in the dead center of the road. I had only half a lane to get by, or I'd either drive off a cliff or crash headlong into the semi. I got lucky that I managed to squeeze right in between the two. Someone was looking out for me because I am not that good at driving to get it just perfect like I did.
Today I saw a "cool" guy messing with his hairdo in the window of a car. I laughed inside because I knew he'd never do it in front of his friends. And then I felt bad for being amused because I don't think people should have to hide what they really want to do like that.
I just want to tell you lot.. I'm thankful for us being who we are, emotional and value oriented.
Black holes...
I only want to get old if I'm going to be a really cool old person like Jane Goodall or Margaret Mead. I want to be quirky, intelligent, active, and cool even when I'm 95. Yes, I think I will live to be 95. I mean, shit, for generations, women in my family have lived to be in their late 80s or 90s. We're hardy bitches, for reals.
If I am going to be a crotchety old lady, if I even start to see that on my horizon, I'm going to actively choose to do more risky things in everyday life and live for the moment, hoping to die young. Screw that. I don't want to be a persnickety old lady. I want to live awesome or just be dead.
While I was driving this morning I was thinking about how so many people were probably upset and frustrated and irritated and sad about today because it was gloomy and overcast and snowing and people were running late for work and everything else like that. They were letting the outside circumstances of the world dictate how they were feeling.
I realized that I wasn't up or down or sideways or backwards because of the snow or dark or cloudy or running late (though that could be because I'm always running late) nor was I up or down or sideways or backwards because of anything that was going on last night or this morning or anything like that.
I was content (and still am) because I decided I was going to be content. I am content and generally happy because I want to be and have decided that I deserve to be. I'm not going to let the things that happen at work or at home or things that have happened or will happen or won't happen or didn't happen from interfering with that. I may be a part of my environment, but for every bit of influence it has on me, I have that same amount of influence on it AND I have my own influence upon myself.
I'm sure there are some days where it will be more difficult to maintain that than others, but I have decided I am worth the effort and therefore I will "find my bliss" or force my bliss, (whichever it may be) every day.
No idea what made me realize that or figure it out today, but hey, I won't complain.
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