[rednet2]

Hi,
I'm a (male) INTJ and I was hoping some of you could tell me what (female) INFPs want in a (romantic) partner.
Thanks for your help :)

[Biondi]

respect their feelings, don't logically destroy their dreams.
they can be way too idealistic and inflexible in certain ways, i don't know how to deal with it though.., sorry..
and hug them in silent when they feel down, it will be way more of a help than you lecturing her.

that's what i conclude from my female INFP friends
(critics and corrections will be accepted)

[InTuned78]

INFP’s will settle when it comes to superficial aspects, but we will not settle when it comes to our values/morals….and we will get defensive and withdraw if you even think about debating us on them. I briefly dated an INTJ. We shared great discussions, just as long as we didn’t talk about the existence of God, etc. But when I was in a positive mood, he would be very cynical, and would shoot down all of my attempts to help him see the brighter side. He had major trust issues, and always questioned my kind gestures, or sentiments….it drained me, so I left...

[rowingineden]

I want someone who is accepting and loving of me as I am, since I'm plenty critical of myself as it is, and I hate the redundancy when others criticize me. I want somebody that's going to let me confide in them and let me snuggle up to them and feel safe with them. I want somebody to share all the beautiful, precious moments in life with, even the really subtle, small ones. I just want somebody to relax and share life with, really.

[faeriegal713]

I want someone who is accepting and loving of me as I am, since I'm plenty critical of myself as it is, and I hate the redundancy when others criticize me. I want somebody that's going to let me confide in them and let me snuggle up to them and feel safe with them. I want somebody to share all the beautiful, precious moments in life with, even the really subtle, small ones. I just want somebody to relax and share life with, really.

Wow, thank you for finally putting to words something that I have been thinking for a long while. It's along the lines of "I'm not asking for help, I just need to say something before I explode," but somehow manages to cause even more disharmony between friends and I.

As for other things that are important in a partner, one of the most important is making sure that you don't invalidate what I'm feeling. If you don't mean to say it that way, fine, clarify that if you notice that I suddenly draw back into my shell. Also, if I ask to change the topic, please do not insist upon continuing it. Most of the time it's trivial and starting an argument that's going to blow everything out of proportion. If it is something that needs to be discussed and resolved, we can continue it later, but pushing when I'm no longer able to think in anything resembling logic or if either of us are getting stuck and stubborn in our thinking/view point will prevent any closure or conclusion and only prevent me from feeling safe to talk to you about other things at a later point in time.

As for good things, a bit of spontaneity is very important, but also recognizing that you don't have to do something all the time. Lazy days are very necessary for the soul. I cannot tell you how much I will crave and Need a day where I don't change out of my pajamas, or really even get out of bed.

[Raichan]

Just someone who knows me well, not just the outer nature but the authentic nature too. Someone who accepts all of that, even when he gets annoyed, angry or overly critical towards me. Someone who can understand me just by looking at me and can love me with all of his heart.

I have to love him the same way and my heart doesn't feel empty when it comes to him.

[Goosefish]

An equal of the heart and mind.

[umbrellasky]

Someone who doesn't criticise me all the time and is tactful when offering criticism/advice
Caring, compassionate, affectionate
Listens to my ideas and appreciates them
Appreciates me
Sees the beauty in life
Someone who appreciates some sort of art form such as literature, music, movies etc.
Somone who I can have deep conversations with
Someone I can bounce my ideas off
Enthusiastic
Knows how to bring me out of myself

[ForsakenMe]

Someone honest, without being a jerk about it.
Someone who pushes me to become a better person in every little way.
Someone who respects me and I respect in return.
Someone who listens to me when I have things to get off my chest (and can handle my enthusiasm when I do.)
Someone who sympathizes with me whenever I'm down, but can also help me cheer up afterward.
Someone who is gentle with his ways, always hugging me and kissing my forehead and cheeks.
Someone I can call my best friend.

[caraez]

I've thought long and hard about this, and this list of what I need to be happy in a relationship seems to be pretty consistant over time, so far:

1) Respect and validation. Validation meaning, someone who is interested in what I say and who I am as a person.
2) Affirmation. Snuggles, random love notes, just saying it - let me know you care, in whatever way is right for you. I cannot tell you how important this is.
3) Chemistry. Self-explanatory - there needs to be a mutual attraction.
4) Catholic. If I'm going to marry and share my life with someone, sharing my religion is important to me, but since I'm just in high school and just dating for experience, this isn't particularly important as long as they respect it (see #1). This is the one that wouldn't apply for all INFPs.