[slightlybatty]

ive been in one long term relationship. theyre the only type im looking for... or nothing at all

[leiroz]

Im 22 and currently in one. The first true relationship to be honest as i avoided dating up till now, just never fit into my value system and i'm very shy. But she's a friend of a friend, of a close friend. and so far it's going good, but it hurts to still have the ideal woman in mind. Whether we're together for long or not, looking back when i'm 50, i doubt i will regret it, the experience should be worth my time. Like Thomas A. Edison when he discovered how to light a lightbulb, I dont know how long the trial and error will last as i attempt to find an authentic attraction, enough to keep the light going at least.

[INFJturnedENTP]

Ya infps have a difficult time getting dates because
1.) We are shy
2.) We want that "ideal" woman which in turn can cause relationships to go sour.

These are probably the 2 reasons why we have a hard time finding dates.
#2 is probably the most common for me. I have had 2 relationships and both turned sour.

I would like to know why they turned sour (b/c of the ideal part not being met?) or was that your or their decision?

I'm falling in love with an INFJ...she's wonderful...I'm not sure how much she likes me...she expresses brief moments of physical signs i.e. sexy looks, etc..and her face and body 'light up' when I approach her..WOW..haha!!

I just...I'm smitten..umm..and I love her and am patient...She seems to know I like her...I asked her out and she neither gave me a yes or a no...hmmm?? That's okay I understand it not being comfortable going to a public restaurant or something with exposure like that..
And she appears relaxed with me in her office...I was there by her the other day and she was on the phone...I waited for five mins. maybe...then I think she got an incling that I may have been getting a little impatient...I just didn't want to send her a signal that I could be taken for granted.you know? I didn't purposely express any impatience...but she quickly ended the phone conversation and we were smiles talking a bit..with each other..

I said to her "We get along like peas and carrots..you know? Every time we talk to each other..it's effortless!" She smiled nodding affirmatively..

Then I asked her, as things were getting definitely personal and not work-related.."Is this (our conversation) more technical...or more like personal?"...She said back to me " Don't things always move that way anyway?" I said yes..at the cost of mentioning exceptions where people don't have one's best interests..

I talked with a friend of mine...I believe an INFJ...he asked if I would like some advice...(He could tell I really was falling for her)..said be "REAL Patient..Look to the future...to Try to 'program' myself to be real casual...Tell her jokes..and Don't forget to live my life.." Eventually she won't want to be away from you.

I hope he's right..I love her and I told him I would have a ring on her finger within 4 months if we got along the same over time..even with bumps in the road I would..I love her..and think she's wonderful! I am intrigued by her and don't think her mysticism will ever go away so I'm enthralled to get to know her more. Sometimes I feel the passion welling up inside of me and it builds so great that I can't keep focused on my work...I haven't felt this way ever before...Once I was in love with a girl when I was about 14 but she was different...I'm going CRAZY! I have to live my life..who knows if she will decide she wants to be with me..ohh..that saddens me:(

I have dated more girls than I can remember...but something just wasn't or didn't feel "complete" in me all of those times...When I'm around her, both my heart and thoughts 'Align' to and for her..I know she's the one..I can't describe the level of feeling I have for her..it's like a solid foundation where my heart is ..andy my mind and thoughts confirm everything I feel...Wow! I'm so hot for her..

She's pretty too...and that doesn't hurt..

What should I do to better approach her? All I feel like doing is comforting her..

Sincerely,
Me

[INFJturnedENTP]

Ya infps have a difficult time getting dates because
1.) We are shy
2.) We want that "ideal" woman which in turn can cause relationships to go sour.

These are probably the 2 reasons why we have a hard time finding dates.
#2 is probably the most common for me. I have had 2 relationships and both turned sour.

I would like to know why they turned sour (b/c of the ideal part not being met?) or was that your or their decision?

I'm falling in love with an INFJ...she's wonderful...I'm not sure how much she likes me...she expresses brief moments of physical signs i.e. sexy looks, etc..and her face and body 'light up' when I approach her..WOW..haha!!

I just...I'm smitten..umm..and I love her and am patient...She seems to know I like her...I asked her out and she neither gave me a yes or a no...hmmm?? That's okay I understand it not being comfortable going to a public restaurant or something with exposure like that..
And she appears relaxed with me in her office...I was there by her the other day and she was on the phone...I waited for five mins. maybe...then I think she got an incling that I may have been getting a little impatient...I just didn't want to send her a signal that I could be taken for granted.you know? I didn't purposely express any impatience...but she quickly ended the phone conversation and we were smiles talking a bit..with each other..

I said to her "We get along like peas and carrots..you know? Every time we talk to each other..it's effortless!" She smiled nodding affirmatively..

Then I asked her, as things were getting definitely personal and not work-related.."Is this (our conversation) more technical...or more like personal?"...She said back to me " Don't things always move that way anyway?" I said yes..at the cost of mentioning exceptions where people don't have one's best interests..

I talked with a friend of mine...I believe an INFJ...he asked if I would like some advice...(He could tell I really was falling for her)..said be "REAL Patient..Look to the future...to Try to 'program' myself to be real casual...Tell her jokes..and Don't forget to live my life.." Eventually she won't want to be away from you.

I hope he's right..I love her and I told him I would have a ring on her finger within 4 months if we got along the same over time..even with bumps in the road I would..I love her..and think she's wonderful! I am intrigued by her and don't think her mysticism will ever go away so I'm enthralled to get to know her more. Sometimes I feel the passion welling up inside of me and it builds so great that I can't keep focused on my work...I haven't felt this way ever before...Once I was in love with a girl when I was about 14 but she was different...I'm going CRAZY! I have to live my life..who knows if she will decide she wants to be with me..ohh..that saddens me:(

I have dated more girls than I can remember...but something just wasn't or didn't feel "complete" in me all of those times...When I'm around her, both my heart and thoughts 'Align' to and for her..I know she's the one..I can't describe the level of feeling I have for her..it's like a solid foundation where my heart is ..andy my mind and thoughts confirm everything I feel...Wow! I'm so hot for her..

She's pretty too...and that doesn't hurt..

What should I do to better approach her? All I feel like doing is comforting her..

Sincerely,
Me

[INFJturnedENTP]

I've been in a great relationship for 8 years. It was the best courting ever! Almost like a soapy really! Ooooh! *giggles*

I recommend hitting on your friend's girlfriend's friends. Your mate is a good guy or you wouldn't be friends with him, so he probably has a pretty awesome girlfriend too. This is crucial. You do need to think that his GFis a pretty cool chick, because the same principal of mates and attracting like friends applies. It should be fairly safe to conclude that this girl is friends with a whole bunch of other girls who should also appeal to you.

Now you need to have a relaxed social gathering. A little alcohol perhaps? Who stands out? Try and have a chat! Be casual. Don't worry if you don't say much. Sometimes the sexiest thing is watching someone chat with their friend. It tells you a lot, trust me!

Now some msn or facebook swapping. "I'll totally add you! No, you're great! I will, really! Here, right it on my hand." Who cares how it happens, but get those details! Maybe ask your wingman friend to suggest you all keep on touch on facebook or something. Instant chat is great if she's going to be online enough to talk to you. If she likes you she'll probably make sure she is!

Now once you've built up a bit of butterfly stomach inducing anticipation over the net, you need to all go out and get drunk with your mate and all your new found friends including Miss Romantic Interest of course.

After this night you'll probably be giddy and/or embarrassed because you made out or busted some kind of move while drunk. It's okay. After you slink off home you have the safety of the internet to talk through until you're at a point to do it all over again! Wash, rinse, repeat. Eventually you'll both admit that you like making out even when your sober and move on to the non-drunk movie date with the possibility of drinks back at either of your houses later.

It's incredibly nerdy, I know. But that's how I operate and that's how I bagged my man. Or was it that I got bagged? I still don't know. I didn't think it out strategically at the time, it just sort of happened that way. But I think the key point is the whole friendship circle of like minded people.

I'm sure you can manage without the drinking if you tried. I didn't. I was like YEAH! GET DRUNK! That way if I am an ass it was the alcohols fault! YEHA! .... It made sense at the time.

Good luck!

And remember, you must first be a friend to make a friend!

Thanks friends sounds nice..That's important to know each other has each other's back..Way to go!

[INFJturnedENTP]

beautiful, but once we start to have feelings she runs.
I care enough about her to only be her friend but it is very complicated.
Like I said before I am probably not destined for compassionate love and it is all a stupid thing.

That's okay You feel it and that says it's in there somewhere..just because you don't outwardly express it doesn't make it any less true..

[Mystic Jenn]

Ya infps have a difficult time getting dates because
1.) We are shy
2.) We want that "ideal" woman which in turn can cause relationships to go sour.

These are probably the 2 reasons why we have a hard time finding dates.
#2 is probably the most common for me. I have had 2 relationships and both turned sour.

Are you back to INFP, Lance?

[Mystic Jenn]

I would like to know why they turned sour (b/c of the ideal part not being met?) or was that your or their decision?

I'm falling in love with an INFJ...she's wonderful...I'm not sure how much she likes me...she expresses brief moments of physical signs i.e. sexy looks, etc..and her face and body 'light up' when I approach her..WOW..haha!!

I just...I'm smitten..umm..and I love her and am patient...She seems to know I like her...I asked her out and she neither gave me a yes or a no...hmmm?? That's okay I understand it not being comfortable going to a public restaurant or something with exposure like that..
And she appears relaxed with me in her office...I was there by her the other day and she was on the phone...I waited for five mins. maybe...then I think she got an incling that I may have been getting a little impatient...I just didn't want to send her a signal that I could be taken for granted.you know? I didn't purposely express any impatience...but she quickly ended the phone conversation and we were smiles talking a bit..with each other..

I said to her "We get along like peas and carrots..you know? Every time we talk to each other..it's effortless!" She smiled nodding affirmatively..

Then I asked her, as things were getting definitely personal and not work-related.."Is this (our conversation) more technical...or more like personal?"...She said back to me " Don't things always move that way anyway?" I said yes..at the cost of mentioning exceptions where people don't have one's best interests..

I talked with a friend of mine...I believe an INFJ...he asked if I would like some advice...(He could tell I really was falling for her)..said be "REAL Patient..Look to the future...to Try to 'program' myself to be real casual...Tell her jokes..and Don't forget to live my life.." Eventually she won't want to be away from you.

I hope he's right..I love her and I told him I would have a ring on her finger within 4 months if we got along the same over time..even with bumps in the road I would..I love her..and think she's wonderful! I am intrigued by her and don't think her mysticism will ever go away so I'm enthralled to get to know her more. Sometimes I feel the passion welling up inside of me and it builds so great that I can't keep focused on my work...I haven't felt this way ever before...Once I was in love with a girl when I was about 14 but she was different...I'm going CRAZY! I have to live my life..who knows if she will decide she wants to be with me..ohh..that saddens me:(

I have dated more girls than I can remember...but something just wasn't or didn't feel "complete" in me all of those times...When I'm around her, both my heart and thoughts 'Align' to and for her..I know she's the one..I can't describe the level of feeling I have for her..it's like a solid foundation where my heart is ..andy my mind and thoughts confirm everything I feel...Wow! I'm so hot for her..

She's pretty too...and that doesn't hurt..

What should I do to better approach her? All I feel like doing is comforting her..

Sincerely,
Me

Ha! I was just getting ready to respond to this. First, she is probably cautious...dipping the pen in company ink since you both work together...but, hell if she sees the potential she will go for it. Be patient. Love grows slow for us, but once we are in it is DEEP. Ask her to do some things outside of work with you, but don't put her on the spot for sex. Just hang out outside of work to see how well the friendship is outside of the office. I for one like it when someone really wants to get to know me and does romantic things along the way. Make her feel as precious to you as you have expressed. Show her.

[INFJturnedENTP]

Ha! I was just getting ready to respond to this. First, she is probably cautious...dipping the pen in company ink since you both work together...but, hell if she sees the potential she will go for it. Be patient. Love grows slow for us, but once we are in it is DEEP. Ask her to do some things outside of work with you, but don't put her on the spot for sex. Just hang out outside of work to see how well the friendship is outside of the office. I for one like it when someone really wants to get to know me and does romantic things along the way. Make her feel as precious to you as you have expressed. Show her.

Thank you So Much!! I did send her a romantic story Friday...(after we had talked)...maybe too quick I don't know. I don't want to hurry love.

I just wrote very litte in the title of the email.."This is Cute"...She didn't write back so I don't know what she wants me to think. I see she may be cautious b/c I sent it on company email. Really don't know. I'll just stop by every couple weeks. She might think I lost interest though. Work settings make it difficult..I'm prepared to take any 'no' because she hasn't responded.

At one point I asked her if 'she was doing anthing this weekend'. "No" she said, enthusiastically..Green Light as in Go signal to me? Don't know. I then asked if she had a boyfriend. She said "Yea, but he has to work this weekend...You shouldn't have to work on the weekends" I said "Oh...I was going to ask if you wanted to do something".

Another time she said they have been going out for seven years..There was even a wedding planned for last year..website and all...It didn't happen and no ring on her finger..I said "Seven years and there's no ring on that finger" (looking down at her hand). She indicated no..

If a woman, who has been engaged to the same person of seven years, (that would place them in hight school) then refers to him only as her "boyfriend"...is this sounding like "fizzled out" to me?...Once again, I really don't know. But I don't get the 'no' from her either.

So this made it more complex for me...maybe she wants to be friends. Don't know. (lol)

I got to wonder what she wants me to think. What do you think Jenn?

BTW here's what I saw when I thought of her so I sent it to her:

[gillian]

As inconceivable as it is that you'll enter into a happy relationship, it's just as improbable that you won't.