[Creo006]

I’ve been having a life crisis for awhile, I feel like the last five years of my life have been spent staring at a fork in the road. I can’t decide on career paths, relationships or anything else in my life really – I get a lot of internal “What do I want to do versus what should I do”. I feel most of this stems from my INTJ / INFP personality disorder. I always get mixed results when I take personality tests. My Introverted and Intuition percentages are always over 80%, but my Thinking vs Feeling and Judging vs Perceiving are always in flux. As a child and still deep down I’m a true INFP, but with the way I was brought up and the world I was exposed to didn’t allow this type of person to thrive. So I feel like over time I’ve developed more of an INTJ personality to shield myself from getting hurt and it’s worked very well through my teen years and my adult life – INTJ is kind of like a safe place for me. However when it come to making big choices or developing relationships I’m paralyzed. I can't relate to logical types because I feel like I can't keep up or they're robots and I can't relate with emotional types because I was trained so heavily to repress and ignore emotional queues and then I go into my INTJ mode. Even typing this out I keep saying to myself “Why are you so weak and pathetic? Stop it! This is irrational b.s.”

Do any of you feel like this? In so many ways INFPs are set up for failure in society. Have any of you guys developed secondary personality traits to make it out there? How has it affected your life -- good or bad?



Am I making any sense?

[XXXX]

You are making a lot of sense.

I do believe it's hard for any type to survive in the world if they are just stuck in their own type's viewpoints, and do not expand their minds to the viewpoints of other types. Basically, in some cases it's good to be an INTJ, in other cases, it's better to be an INFP.

Now, the question is, what kind of society are you talking about? If it's the work/career society, then I would say, yes, it is better to be more logical and practical.

However, in the realm of dealing with people/relationships, it's definitely essential to be in touch with your emotions and open-minded. Everywhere you go, you're going to have to deal with people and start relationships with them, so I do believe that this is just as important as any rationality or practicality you trained yourself to have.

[geGamedev]

Do any of you feel like this? In so many ways INFPs are set up for failure in society. Have any of you guys developed secondary personality traits to make it out there? How has it affected your life -- good or bad?

Am I making any sense?

I kind of feel like I've been doing the opposite. I'm an INTJ yet, for various reasons, I think I've "softened" a lot over the past few years. I want my "bite" back! (well, technically, I want a better blend of INTJ and xNFP)

When I was younger, my dad apparently thought I was an extrovert. I was opinionated, sarcastic, and supposedly gave the impression that I was very confident and didn't care what anyone else thought of me. As far as I can tell, my thoughts haven't changed drastically, only my actions. The difference being, some people now think I have low confidence, poor self-esteem, "too nice", shy, etc. My presentation has drastically altered and I need to find a more balanced alternative.

I get a lot of internal “What do I want to do versus what should I do”. I feel most of this stems from my INTJ / INFP personality disorder. I always get mixed results when I take personality tests. My Introverted and Intuition percentages are always over 80%, but my Thinking vs Feeling and Judging vs Perceiving are always in flux. As a child and still deep down I’m a true INFP, but with the way I was brought up and the world I was exposed to didn’t allow this type of person to thrive. So I feel like over time I’ve developed more of an INTJ personality to shield myself from getting hurt and it’s worked very well through my teen years and my adult life – INTJ is kind of like a safe place for me. However when it come to making big choices or developing relationships I’m paralyzed. I can't relate to logical types because I feel like I can't keep up or they're robots and I can't relate with emotional types because I was trained so heavily to repress and ignore emotional queues and then I go into my INTJ mode. Even typing this out I keep saying to myself “Why are you so weak and pathetic? Stop it! This is irrational b.s.”

Conflicted priorities/perspectives. If you take that same problem from the opposite direction: Start with someone that speaks their mind and doesn't back down, doesn't give jerks the reaction they seek, but unintentionally steps on toes. Learning from a few too many mistakes, and overcompensating for them, can lead to being less willing to share thoughts, less willing to talk back to assholes, and less likely to find oneself amidst emotional drama. I'd say both sides of that problem are far from ideal. What you and I should both be aiming for is a nicely well-rounded version of our "REAL" self. For me that's a mature INTJ. Willing to speak my mind while knowing when to keep it in my head. For you it might be to develop a thicker skin but still feel comfortable showing emotion.

[SyndiCat]

You sound like a male INFP alright. AND you're having a rather good day too I see.

My brother fooled me into believing he was an INFP, meeh wrong, he was an INTJ. And I fooled myself into believing I was an INTJ, meeh wrong, I was an INFP. I thought my brother was an INFP mainly because I typed him after his daughter was born. He softened up and became more calm. He's not a clown anymore, and a bit more of a pushover. And now he thinks he's batshit crazy. He's always thinking thinking thinking, and now he notices the thinking part too, something he normally didn't do. I mean, he turned into a bonafide INFP when he got his daughter. Just, a total nutcase really. I feel fucking bad for him because being in INFP-mode as an INTJ is rough, lol). We're freakin' doomed I tell ya.

[Acey]

when my INFP personality just cant handle a situation, i can sometimes bring out the ISTJ in me. I actually did a test during one of these occurrences and indeed tested as ISTJ

[rogosk]

Yeah, reverting to a more logical persona can help with dealing with the world and your emotions. Now I'm more balanced, but when I was a kid I was so insecure about how overly sensitive I was, that I tried so hard to be the cold rational logical type. When I realized I wasn't that person at all, it was a huge weight off my back, but it was still tough to transition and stuff.

Thankfully I'm able to use some of those old traits for good now, if I really need to mechanically do something that needs to be done, knowing technical details, debate a point on something, and stuff like that.

[Matchbook]

Creo, you seem INFP to me, so if this teeter-tottering is concerning you, don't let it, as far as typing yourself goes. The main concern is for you to be able to feel comfortable and free with the experiencing and expressing of your emotions. I go into INTJ mode from time to time, and can pull it off quite reasonably, but I am still no less of an INFP even in those moments. My functions are still operating as an INFP, but my actions and persona simply externalize with INTJ characteristics. Think about it: When you go into a mode that feels less emotional and more logical, it is still your Introverted Feeling that is dictating it, you see? - because if the mode switch is out of self-protection, the motivation comes from your Fi. Also, being able to switch from one state to the other often involves the improvisational characteristics of the P, Perception.

So when you are going into a less emotional state, you may experience it as less emotional, and therefore more your thoughts and actions appear more logical, but your emotions and Introverted Feeling is operating from a less conscious level, like a bunker that was dug into the earth of your mind that houses your emotions and Fi in difficult times. But they are still on walkie-talkies, calling out the war strategies, even though the war general on the surface may appear INTJ...he's still answering to the commander-in-chief, Fi.

That's how I have experienced it, though. I don't know you well enough to say, "This is exactly what is happening with you!" but it's feasible.

[Creo006]

Thank you guys for all of your feedback this really helped.

Matchbook, WOW! I think you totally hit the nail on the head. I wasa bit shocked at how much everything made sense after I read your post. Thank you for your insight this gave me a lot of clarity.

"This is exactly what is happening with you!"

Indeed

[bethdeth]

I don't understand why some of you seem to think that you go into INTJ mode. It seems more likely that if you are an INFP you will go into ESTJ mode according to this.

Shadow Functions

INTJ use different functions to INFP.....even when in shadow the functions are different.

[geGamedev]

I don't understand why some of you seem to think that you go into INTJ mode. It seems more likely that if you are an INFP you will go into ESTJ mode according to this.

Shadow Functions

INTJ use different functions to INFP.....even when in shadow the functions are different.

I think it's a shift in which functions are relied on more, Fi or Te. Both types have both functions, only in a different order. Although that would probably still be described better with a different type combo... /shrug