I don't have a heart for other people than myself.
When communicating, I look like I care alot. But deep inside I don't. I hate wasting my time listening to people's trouble's once they overcome the shield of 'shallow'. But at the same time I love it, in level of fascination. I don't feel like I'm capable of feeling love, since I don't ever miss people at all and feel indifferent about close friend's death. But at the same time I want it to exist and suddenly have these loving, caring feelings for others. Like, these kinds of feelings on a whole different level.
I'm too much of contrast to handle myself, I'm not sure which part of this is fake or which is real. I'm not sure what's the intensity of feelings other people have. Even more, I'm not sure about anything at all.