[jennandtonic]

I do hate it, but I think it's less about the more people thing and more about the manners thing. Common courtesy is to ask before you invite someone else, so when people bring more people without asking, they're basically saying "I don't care whether you have planned for a certain amount of people." Rude as hell.

However on occasion I do get annoyed with one of my friends, because we'll plan some hang out time (we don't see each other often) JUST to catch up, and then she'll call last minute and invite a friend of hers, who I don't mind...BUT when this friend comes along, the two get drunk and I don't get to catch up with my friend. Last time she tried it I just said we could hang another time.

[Singing Silence]

Definitely identify with this. My E friends do this a lot (my E husband doesn't, because he knows I hate it and is also a stickler for plans, but it doesn't bother him) and it absolutely infuriates me. Just, blind rage (which I, of course, end up hating myself for). I actually feel sick and have to excuse myself. I know how ridiculous that is, but I can't seem to control my reactions. It just seems disrespectful.

On the other hand, there are times when we have open-ended plans that are pretty much the more the merrier, but this has been established in advance, so I know not to have any set expectations of an intimate gathering...and then it's okay. I just need to know what to expect...my introversion demands it.

(I get equally upset when people are supposed to come to something and ditch out at the last minute for something "better." Actually, that might be more upsetting.)

[twilightmoon777]

This is why I usually try to avoid hosting things, especially if they are at my house. If a friend of mine brings somebody along without asking me first I wouldn't know how to "take care" of them. If I'm hosting something I feel like it's my responsibility to make sure everybody is entertained and if somebody comes unexpectedly or I don't know them I won't know how to talk to them/make them laugh/make sure they are having a good time. Plus when people just randomly start inviting other people who we didn't mutual agree should be invited I start to feel like something is wrong with my company. I start to worry that I might be boring or that the activities I've chosen to do might be boring.