[TruthSeeker]

I can be abrasive, sarcastic, and an overall aas to people at work or in a social situation and still be ok. But if my feelings are hurt or I express my feelings, I immediately become the focus of everyone's attention and the target of what people talk about when I'm not around.

[J Remi]

One of the many questions I ask myself everyday. Why is it that humans subconsciously live by this social darwinist mentality of being the biggest ass to get the pass, and the nice guy finish guys last crap? Many of these questions is why I don't have any good opinions on humanity on a overall bases.

[pmj85]

Life isn't always like that.

Also, there's a significant difference between a 'nice guy' and a wet lettuce (not that I'm insinuating you are). Once you learn to stand up for yourself and not take any shit, you'll do great. It's a hard lesson to learn (especially as an INFP) but sometimes it's forced upon you; there are times when you just have to grit your teeth and go in all guns blazing. More often than not you'll find that you can cut people down to size and they'll generally leave you alone in the future.

My trigger is the fact that I hate injustice, either towards other colleagues or myself. If someone is being unfairly treated, I kick up a stink because it absolutely goes against my values. Equality for all - anything less and I'll be getting in your face about it.

This is another reason I began to think I was an ENFP but apparently I'm definitely an INFP, just slightly more evolved in a few areas (e.g. being an asshole, but at least I'm a well directed asshole!) I had some important life lessons to learn quite early on in relation to the workplace. It was hard at the time. Very hard... but I'm grateful for it because it has really hardened me up.

[itrick]

I would venture that what you're witnessing is not catering to the A holes, but rather catering to the strongest wills.

Usually A-holes are strong willed individuals because they don't care about others; but if you pit an A-hole against a strong willed, confident moral individual, I bet you'd see that life favors the moral individual.

INFP are often timid, we're often passive, we often let things slide, and shoulder burdens ourselves. Not necessarily the best catalysts for change. It is possible to be that type of person, but it is draining.

[dagnytaggart]

Consider yourself lucky. Men are allowed to be assohoIes and show their aggression, and don't have to pretend to be nice and sensitive.

Your situation is completely reversed for me. If I can fake the whole nicedy-nice-nice thing, I get along with people just fine. But if I act like myself - which means not worrying about seeming too assertive/callous/blunt - I get negative shocked reactions and end up alienating potential network resources.

[pmj85]

Heh, some guys dig that. So long as you have a soft side too, of course ;p

I work with plenty of women that are complete A holes. In fact, more women than men seem that way in my place!

[lycanized]

I think that people somehow respect those people who are 'assholes' because they don't seem like the kind of people who will back down or falter. With me, I'll be extremely sweet when you first meet me, but then I'll show a side of myself that might be considered assholish. If there's one thing I've noticed, people don't really argue with you as much if you're an 'asshole'. I guess as Iruk touched upon, men are expected to be like that these days.

[Ehre]

Being an A hole asserts dominance, and is thus a sign of power. So long as you're willing to go all the way, big A hole=big power.

Btw, I've known some pretty A-holish women. They weren't as successful in the power grab as A holish guys, but they still were high up there. The real trick is mixing A hole on one side and innocent on the other, but that's just being plain and simple manipulative.

[pmj85]

Wow, you guys must be living on another planet to me then :p

Here on planet Earth as we call it, an asshole is just that - an asshole. Few people like them (save for the pathetic, snivelling 'brown noses' that follow them around like the pathetic acts they are) and they seldom get away with being an asshole for any length of time.

There is absolutely no need to be a cock-end with anyone this day in age. To me, it signals insecurities and under-developed people skills.

I have no time for the assholes of the world. Full of hot air, often unintelligent.

[lycanized]

Wow, you guys must be living on another planet to me then :p

Here on planet Earth as we call it, an asshole is just that - an asshole. Few people like them (save for the pathetic, snivelling 'brown noses' that follow them around like the pathetic acts they are) and they seldom get away with being an asshole for any length of time.

He didn't really define 'asshole' fully, so we had to go by our own definitions lol