[Interloper]

In all my life I have never seen nor heard of a relationship where the participants not only share their hearts and lives with each other, but their deepest thoughts, hopes, fears and flaws as well.

To put it simply, though in one's life it is entirely possible to meet someone with whom one can fall in love with; due to the hopelessly flawed nature of human beings it seems unfeasible that one may ever meet their "other half" or indeed if such a person exists. Could it be that all people seek "the perfect someone" because we all know that we ourselves are too flawed/undeveloped (whatever you want to call it) to entirely compensate for the flaws/lack-of-development of another typical human being?

Also the whole modern culture of trying to find someone who meets one's expectations and in turn having to prove oneself compliant with the other's expectations seems wrong to me. It seems to be a social system based on shallow values and constant judgement; specifically made to result in as much unrequited love and as many ultimately doomed relationships as possible.

In summary I'm asking for someone to tell me that I’m wrong and more importantly exactly why I am wrong; give this cynic some hope.

[Closet Extrovert]

I sometimes think that people do get into a relationship for the wrong reasons...which brings out the darker side of the person...therefore it doesn't end up working out unless you know what your flaws are, and you work to get rid of them.

[Merov]

You might be entering the scene a little late.
What everyone allready knows is that there IS NOT a perfect relationship.
You give it your all and hope the other person accepts you for your flaws, as you will have to accept them for theirs.

Sometimes it works out.
Sometimes it takes a while for both parties to realize that things won't work out.
Sometimes people just decide that it's more "convenient" to use and dispose of the hearts of others than to try and make it work.
...and then sometimes people try to make sense of an abstract such as "love".

You can either see it for it's mysticism, and the promise of happiness, sharing and belonging, or as a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Whichever soothes you more when your breathing out your final breaths.
...oh come now...don't be to cynical about love man.

It's something that will be there if the person is right. You need to listen to your heart, which for an INTP is like squeezing blood out of a stone. I should know. I am one. And although I haven't found my perfect match, I've sacrificed and showed my commitment to making our relationship work, even though at times it has scarred me and changed the way I will look at anyone who would want to share their heart with me forever.

It's like running in a minefield. Sometimes you make it (rare), but if you do it's well worth it.
So my Cynical friend. How about changing the subject to the total futility of your existence.


...now theres a story to tell.

[NephilimAzrael]

In all my life I have never seen nor heard of a relationship where the participants not only share their hearts and lives with each other, but their deepest thoughts, hopes, fears and flaws as well.

It is rather idealised is it not.

To put it simply, though in one's life it is entirely possible to meet someone with whom one can fall in love with; due to the hopelessly flawed nature of human beings it seems unfeasible that one may ever meet their "other half" or indeed if such a person exists. Could it be that all people seek "the perfect someone" because we all know that we ourselves are too flawed/undeveloped (whatever you want to call it) to entirely compensate for the flaws/lack-of-development of another typical human being?

That is why many have attempted to cover over the cracks with reference to 'liking the other's perfections, but loving their flaws' analogies, which although droll is also a feeble attempt to conceal the desperation they themselves are concealing.. You do not find a perfect partner, rather a partner that is the prime candidate for your tolerance and acceptance on a daily basis. Some call it compatibility rather than synchronization - though both are simply linguistic maneuvers to achieve some form of justification for the choice and thus minimise the sense of responsibility.. Don't get me started on 'fate' and 'soul-mates'.. I may vomit if they are mentioned.

Also the whole modern culture of trying to find someone who meets one's expectations and in turn having to prove oneself compliant with the other's expectations seems wrong to me. It seems to be a social system based on shallow values and constant judgement; specifically made to result in as much unrequited love and as many ultimately doomed relationships as possible.

As I stated previously.. The most tolerable candidate.

In summary I'm asking for someone to tell me that I’m wrong and more importantly exactly why I am wrong; give this cynic some hope.

Your hope lies simply in the reasoning of a cynic.. They have flaws. You are flawed. There is a chance that the least insolent and pestulant individual(s) will be met when you find reason for this to happen. Though it will take a certain level of effort on your part in order to find them, pursue them and potentially adjoin yourself to them in a somewhat acceptable compromise of differing personalities.

And this is from a fellow cynic, and a skeptic.

[ChaosRegins]

As stated nothing in this world is EVER going to be perfect. The fact is that we're all flawed. People seek a special someone to relate with. No man is an island himself, because we all need a someone for intimacy or friendship. Though we contrast with different personalities there is someone whom you can find. It might take time....or years. Likewise with the other gents, I'm a skeptic of people and human nature myself.

[Interloper]

It is rather idealised is it not.

Such is the irony of cynicism.

So my Cynical friend. How about changing the subject to the total futility of your existence.

Nihilism? I'm more of an Absurdist myself.
Absolute objectivity gets boring after a while and I am too indecisive to truly appreciate the freedom that such a mindset may potentially grant me. Instead I find an absurd/twisted acceptance of reality serves me best, it allows me to be happy for nothing more than wanting to be happy.
Although I can’t help but wonder if this makes me insane, not that it matters, or that I particularly care.

[rin111]

tbh, this is an idealized look into love. It's great in your head where nothing ll change it and where you can practically control the love and tailor your lover but irl unfortunately it s impractical to expect this. I have the same idea too, tho

a perfect anything is impossible by nature. We can work at a relationship to an extent but when the parties concerned are polar opposites/have very little in common, it ll end in a break up. it's destined, not by fate, but by their nature. as for the other half, there is no such thing. every thing is flawed the extent amd diversity of our flaws make us individuals. you have to find some one who's flaws complement you

after having shared your 'flaws, hopes yadyaydayada' you still have to live your lives with each other. you'll run out of that stuff. the best you can expect is to live a happy life with that person and connect on a moral, physical, intellectual,mental and emotional way.

ima cynic too where man-woman love is concerned, so this is unlikely to improve your mood, but maybe mull it over and it l help

[rin111]

Your hope lies simply in the reasoning of a cynic.. They have flaws. You are flawed. There is a chance that the least insolent and pestulant individual(s) will be met when you find reason for this to happen. Though it will take a certain level of effort on your part in order to find them, pursue them and potentially adjoin yourself to them in a somewhat acceptable compromise of differing personalities.

And this is from a fellow cynic, and a skeptic.

I'm not sure why @Interloper 's post was deleted but i could kiss you if i met you! this is what i have said sometimes to friends and nearly been stoned (verbally) for it!
this, in essence, is what love turns out to be after a long time married, or in a relationship. it's just tolerance. although i would like to believe that there;s a certain connection and fondness, i don't know if it s true

[JoCZker]

ALERT ALERT ALERT. Calling all INFPs, Attack of cynicism on our thread! :)))

Just kidding. You are partly right, it is very hard to find good match, from many reasons. This is not time nor place to state it all, since I should be sleeping to be ready to work tommorow.

But to put it simply, you are also wrong. It is possible to find this one precious being. Just ask any true INFP, we know all about this. :))

Just because something is hard and complicated doesnt mean it is impossible. ;)

Take care and keep looking.

[Vin The Dreamer]

In all my life I have never seen nor heard of a relationship where the participants not only share their hearts and lives with each other, but their deepest thoughts, hopes, fears and flaws as well.

You want one, don't you? And so do I, and probably many other men and women here. So if two people want a relationship like that, what's to stop them? The only challenge is actually getting to meet one another and be attracted to each other.

To put it simply, though in one's life it is entirely possible to meet someone with whom one can fall in love with; due to the hopelessly flawed nature of human beings it seems unfeasible that one may ever meet their "other half" or indeed if such a person exists. Could it be that all people seek "the perfect someone" because we all know that we ourselves are too flawed/undeveloped (whatever you want to call it) to entirely compensate for the flaws/lack-of-development of another typical human being?

Maybe our other half is something we simply create through forming intense bonds in a relationship. In other words, not something that already exists from the get-go, but a place people reach through growth, work, and deepening of their relationships. Either way though, yes people are flawed, but that doesn't have to stop someone from having a profound relationship. The 'perfect person' doesn't have to be perfect; they just have to make you feel loved, accepted, and understood at the best of times and willing to stay and work things out in the worst of times.

Although I haven't been in a relationship yet, so I have no idea how this works in practice.