[ignite]

Suppose a hypothetical situation:
You are in a professional situation in which you are somewhat of a mentor and develop a friendship with a pupil. As the situation no longer requires your authority, the friendship is able to blossom. Somehow, signals are misinterpreted by both parties and you very quickly decide to reveal that you are romantically interested in the other person. This however, would not be possible, and when she tells you this, and requests to maintain a friendship, you decline in a very polite “I wish you well in life” kind of way.

Questions:
* If you are shy and she was as well (both parties very inefficient at flirting or detecting such), what signals would she send that would cause you to feel comfortable enough to so quickly confess romantic interest, assuming that she does not think that she sent any such signals?
* If she explained her confusion about your intentions due to your position of authority, would you recoil in humiliation and feel as though you behaved “unprofessional?”
* If there was a powerful and natural connection between you (like kindred spirits, few words need be said to fully understand one another), why would you reject a friendship? True, tis hard to find lovers like that, but equally as hard to find friends like that as well.
* Do you have trouble forcing romantic feelings aside in order to maintain a beneficial friendship?

Side Note: Hmm… perhaps there is danger in a friendship like that. I guess something so natural and effortless would naturally and effortlessly enrapture two souls without heeding to reality. So, guess I am thankful to have intuitively known that somehow. Oh well.

- INTP female trying to think my way around how an INFP male would feel around a complicated situation -

[GeneralAnders]

He probably didn't think it was a good idea, and perhaps thinks it improper if he is older (or much older?) than you. He though what the heck, maybe it's fine, but when rejected he quickly rubber-banded to his ashamed position and since he likes you a lot, he needs more distance to remain detached. If you smiled at him, or spent time alone, or spent more time with him than he does with other people (hard to know if he's just a closet video gamer for the rest of his life), or touched his hand or smelled good or had a melodious voice, he could get some kind of fantasy going. But now he probably thinks he misinterpreted something and thinks he was improper.

[LookingForTheDoor]

In terms of signals that she would need to give, it would have to be something extremely obvious, like physical contact, Iwannafuckyou eye contact, or just straight up telling me. I can be oblivious or in denial about even pretty overt signals, or do the opposite and convince myself of attraction that doesn't exist. This is part of the reason why I don't trust my feelings and pursue these women. Especially in that situation, it would take a lot to make me feel confident enough to take the risk or even seriously consider it.

If she explained her confusion I would probably be somewhat hurt, but more importantly feel like an idiot for putting it out there when I knew it was a risk. I would probably withdraw go a bit cold to stay on the safe side since I'd be most afraid of that one event having a lasting effect on this person's impression of me.

For the last two questions, yes, I do have trouble putting my feelings aside. I had one breakup with a girl that I would still consider one of the better friends I've ever had, but we don't talk anymore. When my personal file on a person is established with feelings associated to this person, trying to pull the person and the feelings I have for them apart seems to result in total collapse. Too many of my thoughts about that person are intertwined with emotions to completely drop any emotional involvement. As a result, I don't talk to any of the women that I have dated in the past, regardless of how great the relationship was. They think I'm a cold asshole, when really I'm just tearing myself apart at them leaving. They think I've moved on or completely dropped them from my mind, but I'm trying my hardest to do that and finding it impossible. When an INFP lets someone into the inner circle, that person becomes a part of us for a long time, and losing that person, in my experience, has taken a little part of myself with it. That's why so few have access to that innermost chamber.

This is the way I see it. Hope it helps.

[virtualvortexrider]

Depends. For me love at work is a no no. Because I know that would distract me too much.

[MrRandom88]

i don't even know what anyone said in this thread, but all I can say is...I think INFP males are god's little joke.
"Oh hey, you don't ever really take the lead and you're not particularly aggressive or dominant, but you still want to fuck the shit out of something because you're a male afterall..."

[ponyjoyride]

i don't even know what anyone said in this thread, but all I can say is...I think INFP males are god's little joke.
"Oh hey, you don't ever really take the lead and you're not particularly aggressive or dominant, but you still want to fuck the shit out of something because you're a male afterall..."

I wish you didn't think like that. To be honest the world is so full of people that if you just go out and search long enough you'll eventually find someone who thinks you're the awesomest man ever alive. INFPs are cuddly and cute and luckily women like things that are cuddly and cute.

[thehigher]

i don't even know what anyone said in this thread, but all I can say is...I think INFP males are god's little joke.
"Oh hey, you don't ever really take the lead and you're not particularly aggressive or dominant, but you still want to fuck the shit out of something because you're a male afterall..."

.... are you Ok?

[thehigher]

Suppose a hypothetical situation:
You are in a professional situation in which you are somewhat of a mentor and develop a friendship with a pupil. As the situation no longer requires your authority, the friendship is able to blossom. Somehow, signals are misinterpreted by both parties and you very quickly decide to reveal that you are romantically interested in the other person. This however, would not be possible, and when she tells you this, and requests to maintain a friendship, you decline in a very polite “I wish you well in life” kind of way.

Questions:
* If you are shy and she was as well (both parties very inefficient at flirting or detecting such), what signals would she send that would cause you to feel comfortable enough to so quickly confess romantic interest, assuming that she does not think that she sent any such signals?
* If she explained her confusion about your intentions due to your position of authority, would you recoil in humiliation and feel as though you behaved “unprofessional?”
* If there was a powerful and natural connection between you (like kindred spirits, few words need be said to fully understand one another), why would you reject a friendship? True, tis hard to find lovers like that, but equally as hard to find friends like that as well.
* Do you have trouble forcing romantic feelings aside in order to maintain a beneficial friendship?

Side Note: Hmm… perhaps there is danger in a friendship like that. I guess something so natural and effortless would naturally and effortlessly enrapture two souls without heeding to reality. So, guess I am thankful to have intuitively known that somehow. Oh well.

- INTP female trying to think my way around how an INFP male would feel around a complicated situation -

There is no secret formula. If you look like you are interested to us we think you are interested. It may be body language or eye contact. ..... did you use Fe much? That usually confuses me when INTP's do that. They think they are just being "nice" but really they are unaware of how flirtatious they seem to be. Maybe not though.

Hard to answer the second. Whenever we make decisions like this it's usually based on both the people's involved feelings and potential feelings. As for the details I couldn't tell you. Too many variables.

No but again it depends. If someone is sending mixed signals then yes.

About your last note.... yea. There is danger in every relationship period. I disagree with your next judgement but hey you may be right.

[MrRandom88]

.... are you Ok?

I'm oddly enlightened.

Tell me it isn't the truth though, lmao.

[Eylrid]

I very easily misinterpret anything, so I use a metaphorical "30 foot rule" around any girl who is in any way off limits, or even might be.

i don't even know what anyone said in this thread, but all I can say is...I think INFP males are god's little joke.
"Oh hey, you don't ever really take the lead and you're not particularly aggressive or dominant, but you still want to fuck the shit out of something because you're a male afterall..."

I'll admit that I can relate to this.