Today I am feeling trapped in myself. Very irritated, annoyed with myself. You know that quote, "wherever you go, there you are"? Well, sometimes I feel comforted by that quote but more often I feel trapped by it. I want so badly to be able to free myself, whatever that means. I can't escape from myself. Why do I feel so apart from myself? Like my thoughts are not part of who I am. I feel disconnected, detached, floating, like the whole world is on tv. But I know it isn't. I want to take my brain and implant it somewhere else and leave it alone for a while. Then take my heart and free it, let it fly somewhere. Then take my body and let it rest or hide. I feel smothered by my own thoughts, loathing of self, in a "you stupid person" kind of way. The whole world is frowning at me and I'm stuck, I can't even speak. Muted. Caged. Times like this I either want to hide somewhere or rip something apart... starting with my own mind. Reckless.
Can someone relate to this? anyone? INFPs? I hate feeling like this. It comes on every few weeks. Makes me feel crazy.