[CitizenErased]

I'm really really sorry to bring my superficial problems to you,

All my close friends are ESxx and it is literally impossible for me to cope with them sometimes, I really might aswell have melted into the pavement yesterday. They know how much I really hate going for nights out constantly meeting people while dressed in ankle murdering heels and all. But last night they made me walk over a mile with them after our meal them so they could flirt with some idiot guys I didn't even know (and have random men out on a satuday night beeping their horns at us ugh) , I just stood there like a lump of sugar and admired the trees and such saying nothing for half an hour. They have no respect for anything that I want to do or say. They just talk about people none stop, their many other nights out and act like snobby shallow people... if i'm one on one with one of them they actually try to listen and accept my weird outbursts but the rest of the time they are attention whores. People don't even notice that i'm there when i'm with them.

I have no idea how they ended up accepting me into their "group" but by the end of the night I felt like I just wanted to spend a week confided in a box away from everybody. Yes I am an alienated teenager looking for answers. I'd also love to write music and have no idea where to start.


Sorry again, I really spent ages deliberating whether to share this problem or not

[Penemue]

They dont sound like friends. I'd cut them loose and find some real friends. Or try to either act more like them (but only as an act), or try to explain to them how their behaviour makes you feel. Whatever sounds better to you, but i wouldnt put up with them.
About the writing music, you could write tunes and then try to find words to match, or the other way around, write lyrics or little phrases and try to link them up and then think "Would this sound better with some heavy bass and drums or is this more of an accoustic and meaningful song..."

[OrangeAppled]

I think I can understand where you are coming from. I was very frustrated as a teen because I could not relate to those around me. I did not share their interests, and so I became withdrawn as I did not know how to contribute to the conversations & activities they preferred.

I still have a lot of ESFx friends, but now I try and appreciate them for what they have too offer, and I try to not expect too much; I've come to realize that one friend often cannot be everything to you. You may need to seek out other friends who fulfill your other needs. I don't have as many iNuitive friends as I'd like, but the few I do have are priceless for having conversations on art, literature, music, psychology, philosophy, science, etc - stuff that actually stimulates my mind and excites me.

I actually had a great time with my ESFx friends yesterday though....they are very funny, enjoy the moment, and they get me out of my shell/head to do fun, light-hearted activities. I can appreciate a night out dressed to kill, or a daytime activity that is less "intellectual", but I know my limits. I'm not one to hang out in clubs/bars much, but occasionally it is fun. What you may need to do is opt out when you're not in the mood. Thank them for the invite, but mention that you feel like you need a more mellow evening. The side effect could be that they invite you less, but you'll have to decide what is more important to you. Sometimes, you do grow apart from friends, and detaching yourself slowly is the best way to move on.

I'm also really independent now and I go and do what I want, even if it means going alone (which I often enjoy anyway...). What are your interests? Try pursuing those on your own, and you may just meet more like-minded people. You'd be surprised at how many people will approach you when you are alone. This may be hard as a teen, but there ARE other people like you out there, and they likely feel the same way.

Have you genuinely tried planning an outing with them that you would enjoy more? For instance, I once took an ESFP friend to an art gallery with graffiti style art and she thought it was cool (the open bar helped ). For me, that was a lot more fun than going to some dance club that plays music that makes my skin crawl....

[fn0rd]

I ignore them, just as they deserve. Many people can't or aren't willing to do that.

[nikkii]

I'm really really sorry to bring my superficial problems to you,

All my close friends are ESxx and it is literally impossible for me to cope with them sometimes, I really might aswell have melted into the pavement yesterday. They know how much I really hate going for nights out constantly meeting people while dressed in ankle murdering heels and all. But last night they made me walk over a mile with them after our meal them so they could flirt with some idiot guys I didn't even know (and have random men out on a satuday night beeping their horns at us ugh) , I just stood there like a lump of sugar and admired the trees and such saying nothing for half an hour. They have no respect for anything that I want to do or say. They just talk about people none stop, their many other nights out and act like snobby shallow people... if i'm one on one with one of them they actually try to listen and accept my weird outbursts but the rest of the time they are attention whores. People don't even notice that i'm there when i'm with them.

I have no idea how they ended up accepting me into their "group" but by the end of the night I felt like I just wanted to spend a week confided in a box away from everybody. Yes I am an alienated teenager looking for answers. I'd also love to write music and have no idea where to start.


Sorry again, I really spent ages deliberating whether to share this problem or not

Dude, i get it. find a friend that likes to do what u do, then u guys can stay in an joy ur time.
Thats what I did. Superficiality can hurt a lot and its very sickening to watch. find what will make u feel better and try it.

[AutumnMarieGrey]

You say they know how much you hate doing these kind of things, yet do they understand why? I think getting them to see that would really help. I have always had the same problem as you, a lot of my friends being the same way, but recently with certain people I've sat down with them and talked about opinons on things, and explained why it's not my thing.
Suddenly, they understood where I was coming from. They planned a couple of big nights with heavy drinking and clubs(inviting me out of courtesy, although I didn't go)and then we all planned a couple where it would be something we'd all enjoy-some of which was new to them, and although one friend said it wasn't her thing, she enjoyed it because it allowed her to see where I was coming from and respect my opinions.

Spending a week in a box is kind of natural for you to feel after that situation for an INFP. Relax, and do something you get a huge amount out of for a few days. As for the last bit of your post about wanting to write music, I'm not to sure what you mean without giving away any more details?

[Halloween Decor]

I really like having my extraverted-sensing friends around. I get a kick out of confusing them with some off the wall theory I just made up in two seconds that somewhat makes sense. It's like scaring your baby cousin on Halloween; one-sided satisfaction from the joke, but still, they get it. On the other hand, I've got my fellow intuitors who can't seem to shut the fuck up enough to listen to how annoying they sound when they're always asking some unimportant questions (or, at least, unimportant to me). It's all good though. I guess I have a harder time getting along with those who are more like myself than those who are much more different- though not the total opposite.

So, to answer your question, I don't have to "cope" with ES types. I just toy with them.

[Blue Butterfly]

All my family was ESxx and they drained the life out of me running from one party to the next. My suggestion is to look for new friends. Ones that will listen to you and respect you. They are out there you just have to find them. You would not have to cut off these friends completely but just limit the amount of time you spend with them. Eventually you will just naturally drift apart from them.

[Vanitas]

Find new friends. Well, it doesn't look likely you could change them and you'd be miserable following their trends. They wouldn't find 'not going out like most people' fun and maybe even peer pressuring you to make you less 'weird'.

Be brave and find new friends that share your hobbies and views, or atleast let you be yourself, you'd be happier in the long run that way.

[NeedsNewNameNow]

It sounds like you like these people individually, but not going out with them. There's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to like to do everything your friends do. You can find some other friends to share other interests with.