[Sylphine]

Hi Traigo,

I have had a lot of upsetting, weird, and often painful encounters with people in general. For instance, I was walking into a movie theater with a friend, when this strange woman appears out of no where. The woman shoves me and screams at the top of her lungs, "You're in my way." It was not a little shove, mind you. She shoved me with such a force from behind, that when I hit the ground, it was audible. Both of my legs were skinned up and down-- bleeding. The woman did not look back. She kept on walking.

It disturbs me to think that there might be something about me that provokes such demonstrations of aggression from random strangers, but then, I realize in most cases it is not my fault. I did not do anything to that woman. I did not say anything or do anything. If I had known she was behind me and in a hurry, I would have gladly let her pass me, but she did not say excuse me or use any kind of civilized communication to inform me that I was frustrating her. She could have pushed my friend, but she pushed me. Anyone could have a random encounter with an angry person.

So, instead of thinking of myself attracting uncivil, mean-spirited, and negative people, I imagine myself attracting good and positive people. I imagine it all the time. It sounds like a ridiculous thing to do, but oddly, it has really worked! The powers that be have been very kind to me lately.

Maybe, things will change for you too.

[Calvaire]

Love the nose ring.

haha thanks actually I don't have it anymore after four years it sadly rejected so I was forced to take it out.

[GroovyShamrock]

Sometimes I swear my life would be so much easier if I was a lesbian. Alas, it is not to be.

I guess it depends where you live... In South Africa, lesbians are often raped as a "punishment" for not being hetero...

And in general gays tend to face a lot of violence. Even in liberal France, a gay guy was beaten up and drowned in a pond in a park in my city five years ago. :(

[murderegina]

Oh... That kind. No I can't say I've ever had that kind of experience, thankfully...


He wasn't serious, was he?!

Yeah he was. How do I know this? Because as I was gathering my things in a hurry to leave, him in this drunken stupor started going off about how "I was younger then..I mean it was 2 years ago..a lot can change..you need to let me explain myself."



Oh, dear.

[Applehead]

A friend of mine always used to make fun of me because I attracted crazy people.
He'd say, "The crazies attract the crazies." lol.

As an INFP, I have this ridiculous need to help people and it comes into play with my relationships, too. I've been in two relationships in my life with people who were definitely not suited for me, an ENTJ and an INTJ. NOT AN IDEAL MATCH FOR AN IDEALIST.

Maybe if you stop trying to guide and look for somebody to guide you, like an awesome ENFJ, then you might have some luck.

I am keeping my eyes peeled for one!

[vintagelovin8]

One time this guy really liked me and we were texting everyday for a week or two, then he started saying shit like I'm gonna punch u in the boob, or he would talk about getting me pregnant, and he wanted to go on a dates alone with me, and yeah I ran for my fucking life.

[PrinceinExile]

Dating, what is this ritual you speak of?

[Michael82]

Just try to "open your eyes a bit more" and see what guys wear and how they talk and don't give yourself away that fast! And yes it's good to be with friends to meet some guys.

As for me I'm chatting with someone on msn telling me I always get these freaky women but personally I never notice the level of freakiness someone has. I just see differences but just really cannot tell if anyone's freaky. I was with a Chinese student who was normal but I put insane amounts of energy in it, I was with someone with adhd who exposed the less beautiful side-effects of adhd, I was almost with someone with add, I was with someone online who got bullied and was very insecure, and I've confessed my liking and loving to a few women who were normal but weren't interested in me.

If it's an INFP vs. Dutch women thing I don't know, but I do know that it takes a few tries to get someone nice .

That said, you'll get there. Don't give up! Your persistence will be rewarded

[brendog10]

I just tend to attract needy people. I am often to excepting of people's insecurities in general, so I guess it's natural. My last girlfriend had huge insecurities which really ended up ruining our relationship, well that and my inability to communicate my frustration over it, it was really both our faults.

I've found also that I am more attracted to people who will need me, which I need to change. The people I date usually start to rely on my affrimation to much, and I inevitably become their therapist.

I can see that it would be easy for INFP's, especially female INFP's to attact crazies. They can sense sympathy and empathy and will flock to it. I cringe thinking about what women have to go through in the dating game.

[Melly382]

I just tend to attract needy people. I am often to excepting of people's insecurities in general, so I guess it's natural. My last girlfriend had huge insecurities which really ended up ruining our relationship, well that and my inability to communicate my frustration over it, it was really both our faults.

I've found also that I am more attracted to people who will need me, which I need to change. The people I date usually start to rely on my affrimation to much, and I inevitably become their therapist.

I can see that it would be easy for INFP's, especially female INFP's to attact crazies. They can sense sympathy and empathy and will flock to it. I cringe thinking about what women have to go through in the dating game.

The kind of people I seem to attract almost universally fall into the "eccentric" category, but eccentric covers a very broad spectrum of behavior. Most of the people I've attracted have indeed been of the insecure variety and have sensed my willingness to show compassion and desire to heal everybody's wounds. This included guys with a variety of addictions and family problems and I am happy to say that a lot of them are doing great today! But I never quite dated any of them due to a combination of shyness, my own insecurities, and feeling uncomfortable with a guy who depended on me to such an extent.

Where it did get me in trouble was with the guys who sensed my weakness--my inability to reject literally anyone, to wound anyone! I remember going on dates with several guys in college out of misguided good will who were very creepy! One guy very intensely told me on the first (and only) date that he was positive that he wanted to marry me because I was a Texan which somehow made me superior in innumerable ways. Unlike most people who joke about things like that, he was dead serious. Therefore, I attempted to explain that it did not make me any better than any number of girls that might meet his criteria which resulted in a huge explosion of anger that I should question him and a Pepsi being hurled across the room! A year later he had apparently been engaged multiple times in that time span and I continued to avoid him!

Definitely not the craziest story on this board, but it opened my eyes to the follies of good will dating and encouraged me to grow a spine. I no longer extend a healing hand to anyone and everyone and I am much better off for it. My other strange experiences primarily consist of what I would consider inappropriate attention from older men (in my Dad's general social circle) from ages 13-17 or so. Nothing happened and I'm not scarred in any way, but it did leave me feeling somewhat dirty for awhile. I've always attracted older men, needy men, and creepy men despite my fatal attraction to the outgoing, charming guys that never see me xD Oh well, if all else fails, I am confident I can secure a sugar daddy (jk).