[Conscience]

It's the third quarter of the year, and the seismic earthquakes of personality took me and left me as a misfit, an INFP (Now I wear it proudly, and not so loudly) these earthquakes just happened to shake and drastically change my world in the third quarter. Ever since my persoanlity changed, and my old smart, bubbly, confident self dissappeared, so did my friends. I'm unsure of who I can depend on always, who I can trust, and who I care most about. I don't want to reconnect or regain my old friends because they're unloyal, don't understand me as I am, and don't accept my INFP traits that aren't as normal (Eccentricity, weirness, excessive smartitude, etc). The worst(est) part is that now that it's so far into the school year, everyone is cozy in their own little group-clique-social class, unwilling to change friends, already found best friends, etc. I regained a new best friend, Ella, but I have no classes with her... The other ones simply don't understand me, or don't even try. One of my friends even told me, "Go screw your life (something like that) and go Fu** yourself." Anyone care to give a try and help?
Dead in Maryland.

[Ghrim]

I grew up in a very small, very conservative town in Indiana. Before my family settled there, we'd moved every year of my life. My parents told me when we first moved in that we were going to live there for at least 10 years, and I went crazy over the idea of making friends and keeping them. I tried way too hard, ended up the class clown, and alienated everybody. I didn't help that I also enjoyed reading, video games, role-playing, and speaking in "big words" - all forbidden by that culture. I was also the only non-christian in my class. People thought I was some kind of homosexual devil worshipper. I also didn't understand random juvenile aggression, backstabbing gossip, shallow relationships, and prejudice. I had not a single real-life friend from age 8-16. At age 13 my family got internet, which I'm pretty sure saved my life.

I can't offer much advice other than learning to be very emotionally independent, and understanding that even though you're alone... you're not alone. Childhood alienation seems to be a common feature among people I respect and admire.

[Tophat182]

I had the problem of no friends much through my childhood. I didn't come out of my nerd introspective shell till sophomore year in high school, thanks to theatre. My advice is join new clubs and go places you haven't gone before to meet people you haven't met b4.

[Ghrim]

You should do that stuff anyway, regardless of whether you make friends doing it or not. I was the shunned and picked on wierd kid in my school, but I was also a star athlete. I enjoyed the competition, physical activity, and personal development. I was surrounded by people who didn't like me, but I was treated mostly decently in the locker room and on the field because I was driven and gave a lot to my team, even though I didn't give a shit about the team. I played for myself, did my thing, and went home to my solitary geek life. I learned a lot of confidence and independence and overall a very valuable experience. Find something you love to do and do it. You need a big headstart these days to get into a satisfying career anyway.

[white-knuckle]

Sports and extracurricular activities are great ways to make friends. A lot of interesting people roam the libraries at lunch. Also, shy people are really approachable and you will not only benefit yourself from making a friend youll benefit the other person.
It might even help if you to talk to a teacher about it. Tell them your having trouble making friends and maybe they'll pair you up with someone worthwhile for a project.
Never be friends with people who put you down. Just keep your distance from those type of people. It really isnt worth it to your self esteem and they really arent being a very good friend.

[InSpector]

Hi Conscience! You know what i too have that problem. When i was still schooling it was like every year i would have a click of three or four people and we would be real close. Then i guess they got tired of me or annoyed.(I was and INFP in a group of extroverts) But next year came around i would have a new circle. It was probably due to my close friend being outgoing and whoever he knew i would get to know to.

So yeah, your not alone.

[kusay]

I remember at the age of 14 how I was abandoned by my 3 best friends because we had a little fight...I spent the whole summer alone with no friends, that was hell for me. back to school I made few new friends but I was still feeling that I need my old friends and felt disoriented. But then I said to myself fuck them, all 3 and none tried to talk to me. So I just moved over.

Looking at it now, I am glad we didn't stay friends because I think they were bad influence and that way I got the time to create new me.

What you can do is stick with your good friend, maybe after a while you will find another one. I think two good friends is enough and you don't need a group. try and make friendship that is not so deep, meaning you don't need to be best friends to hang out with your classmates. Always look for the nice ones that you know they won't mind to hang out sometime.

[pingu]

Hi Conscience. I even find that now in the work world. I'll join a company and then I'll find that I have typecast myself into being someone that I don't really want to be and then feeling stuck there in the position where I can't connect to the people there anymore.
This might sound a bit off thread, but I think it may have something to do with my similar experiences during the school years as many of the people in this thread.
The internet wasn't there when I was at school - you guys have given me new hope that people need not feel so alone.

[ronnie]

Even at the ripe old age of 50, I can totally identify with what you're saying. In fact, I somehow feel like I should 'get a life' for even being online in this forum at my age. What can I say? My biggest issue with lost friends over the years is the most of my really 'best' friends have moved away from the state I live in (jobs, marriages, etc.), and it has left a void in my life that gets harder and harder to fill the older I get....

[Drea]

The exact same thing happened to me as my personality started to shift, except instead of my friends allienating me, it was me alienating myself. Now that I fully understand and am comfortable with who I am, I'm working on reparing some past relationships and it's working great. And on top of the old friendships, i've got new lasting friendships to boot.

As for my advice to you, I'd suggest trying to see things from their point of veiw; it must be uncomfortable for them to watch their friend change before their eyes. Also try explaining that you're still you; you just see things a little differently now. Maybe you can still be friends, but with a slightly different relationship. If you're sure you really don't want your old freinds back, then I guess you should focus on your friend Ella. Maybe also look to aquaintences that could possibly turn in to lasting friendships, or meet new people who like the same things as you.