-Deleted by request-
| || |
This is a discussion on INFP: Going through a tough time with an INTP friend. (wierd situation) within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; -Deleted by request-...
-Deleted by request-
Last edited by NekoNinja; 04-17-2012 at 03:43 PM.
From what you said it looks like you're taking this friendship WAY more seriously than the INTP is.
I bolded the above part b/c I have a close INFP that I have been going through troubles with lately. Basically, she doesn't say anything when I do things that bother her, until it reaches a critical point. I would like more feedback earlier on before it gets to that point.When I was about to quit the game two years later he suddenly returned. I was so excited I immediately stopped everything to level with him again to the next max level. We had many good times together for awhile. We would joke around but he never says much and it never got to a personal level. I also noticed that he had a very cold, apathetic, and almost inconsiderate side to him. Many times he would ignore what I say or just give one word responses. Other times he would do things without me and leave me behind. This hurt me a lot and I was very frustrated with him. After all we had been through and shared how can someone be so disloyal? But I never said anything about it because I was just happy to have a friend to play together with.
Did he know you were hurt? Yes, some INTPs are very cold and callous. Others aren't. I do like to joke and tease people about some of their 'quirks' -- IF I think they will take it in stride! I would never want to hurt anyone's feelings. Sometimes I do upset people, and in response I become more sensitive towards them.I had some of the worst experiences playing this game with him. I can't remember many happy moments we had at all. Of course he left me behind and ignored me again, but this time it was very callous. Worst of all he would often make witty, but mockingly rude comments to criticize me. I was very hurt by this.
My INFP friend nearly ended our friendship earlier this week over something I had no idea I was doing to her! And it was completely unintentional on my part. The problem is she is so tough to read since she also keeps things hidden, and she doesn't tell me when things bother her. She puts on a tough exterior, but is more fragile underneath. That has caused me to misjudge what she can handle.. if that makes sense.I am moments away at ending our 4 year friendship over a heated argument. I plan on expressing everything I feel that I had kept hidden all this time. My question is, should I ruin our friendship or keep going until he hurts me again? He's a good person I just don't think our different personalities work well together. I take my values very seriously but he just seems so inconsiderate.
Tell him what bothers you, and see if he treats you with more respect. If not, then think about ending the friendship.If I decide to quit I can either end our friendship now with an argument or just disappear without a word. The first method would make me feel better but the problem is I might want to come back later. It also pains me to have to lose another friend. I have lost quite a few in the past due to not meeting my high expectations of them. What should I do?
Regardless of that, what he did to me in the past bothered me but I could live with it. But what he did to me recently was just incredibly selfish of him.
Best to tell him-- calmly. We're good at accepting constructive criticism, but if you come off as angry, he's likely to respond in kind. Ultimately how he reacts to what you tell him should tell you if he's really a good friend.Regardless of that, what he did to me in the past bothered me but I could live with it. But what he did to me recently was just incredibly selfish of him.