[TrueHeart]

The main purpose of this is that "we run away to see who will follow". It takes several attempts to pull anything from an INFP. That means that, if you're worried something is wrong, be persistant. If a person only asks me once, I lie. If they continue to ask me, I'll eventually tell the truth because then I believe that they genuinely care. However, if they give up after only one or two attempts, then that tells me that they don't really care to get to the truth.

Mind you, I understand the "we run away to see who will follow" gig.

But... let me get this straight... you lie to somebody, at first, to see if they're persistent enough to get to the truth?

You? Lie? To? Them?



Because you are interested in... truth?

[rowingineden]

There can be four reasons I can think of.

#1 - the INFP is just going through something and needs to be emotionally isolated to focus on working through the problem. (Because when we attach ourselves emotionally to someone, all our attention tends to go to that, and it's difficult to think clearly).

#2 - something you did (probably unintentionally) has thrown the INFP off. We have a really strong ethic which we tend to try to hold other people around us by, but we don't always verbalize it. And sometimes we can start to doubt based on the most flimsy things, and keep going in a downwards spiral of doubt.

#3 - the INFP realizes that your relationship has the potential to get even more close, and they're scared as hell of letting that happen.

#4 - it's a test to see if you care enough about the INFP to make things better.

Unfortunately, we can have the stereotypically female quality of expecting someone who really cares about us to just "know" what we need from them, or we can be too nervous to verbalize it. Or maybe even we don't know. Ha.

[Rayne]

Well, I don't know about other people but when I feel like people don't like me or wont return my affection then I tend to distance myself emotionally so I don't get hurt. But sometimes I just go though random lows and feel like nobody likes me even when they do. So maybe that's what's happening here?

[TrueHeart]

This is a very good, informative, helpful thread!

[amanda32]

Well, I don't know about other people but when I feel like people don't like me or wont return my affection then I tend to distance myself emotionally so I don't get hurt. But sometimes I just go though random lows and feel like nobody likes me even when they do. So maybe that's what's happening here?

Exact same thing for me.

[Flora]

There isnt a lot more I can add to this thread. Reading it has been like having someone posting on the internet my most inner thoughts..

I wish all INTJs would read this!

[under skies]

Dear INFP-s! Thanks for sharing all your inner thoughts with us. I understand this was only possible to do unpersonally on the net. All this stuff makes me kind of sad but I have learned a lot thanks to you.
Now, I have one major question left:
What are you (especially guys) doing when you realize you have hurt someone unintentionally? ´cause that must have happened to you as well, right?

I apologize. I'll explain what my (miscalculated) assumptions were and why I responded in the way that I did. When I've done something stupid, I'll be the first to admit it. I may be an emotional, nonsensical wreck at times, but I'm not oblivious to how crazy I can be (or how burdensome this behavior can be to others who genuinely care about me).

Mind you, I understand the "we run away to see who will follow" gig.

But... let me get this straight... you lie to somebody, at first, to see if they're persistent enough to get to the truth?

You? Lie? To? Them?

Because you are interested in... truth?

I don't know that BlackPixy13 meant anything more than a white lie, sort of like a, "How are you?" / "'I'm okay," sort of deal. If someone asks how I am, I will generally respond that I'm "fine." For some reason, I frequently get the feeling that people only ask that as a formality and that they don't necessarily care. What's more, if I were completely honest, my response might be a bit complex or even overwhelming to some. I'll attempt to intuit how much the asker actually wants to know and use that to judge exactly how much I'm going to reveal.

[Dark Opal]

OP here....

Thank you all so much for your sharing your thoughts and pearls of wisdom I learned a lot reading all of your posts here, I appreciate it enormously!!

[Hiero]

Well it could be that for some reason you haven't spent much time with him lately?
For me it is hard to re-connect with people if too much time has passed since the last time we saw each other, or it could be the other way around. Maybe you've spent too much time together and he feels a bit exhausted so he might need to spend some days alone.

Uhmm and if you think you've offended him someway then don't worry too much about it, we find it easy to forgive people and in 2 or 3 days he should be back to normal.

Well at least that's how I am.

[TrueHeart]

I don't know that BlackPixy13 meant anything more than a white lie, sort of like a, "How are you?" / "'I'm okay," sort of deal.

I don't know either. But it doesn't come across that way to me.