[kusay]

The struggle to have good friends always bothered me, I try really hard but in the end I think I will lose them all. I was in my teen when I lost my only 3 best friends, the reason was not worthy...they simply made me angry and they simply never apologized so that was it. I spent the whole summer all alone with no friends, it was like hell.

I say to my self I was young and stupid, but then after few years I lose my only childhood friend, the reason is still a mystery till now, I only know that I called him more than once on his mobile, he never answered and never called back. I don't keep contact with people who don't show interest in me.

Now there is this friend that I don't want to lose but I am afraid that's what's going to happen. I don't know what to do, I am always too proud of my self and if I sense the other person is ignoring me then I will just cut him off unless he start talking again and explain him self.

So INFPs what's your experience with friends and keeping them.

[amanda32]

I've lost some friends too, everyone does don't beat yourself up over it.
Some people aren't good at calling back and returning messages.

I hate being ignored as well. If you feel they are really your friend give them the benefit of the doubt and some time and see if they drift back. Send 2 messages and if they don't respond...let them go.

The trick is not to care too much about people who don't care much about you.
Save your deep affections for a friend who treats you well and lets you know you're important to them.
Most people are too self-absorbed to think of anyone but themselves.

[NeedsNewNameNow]

I am on the opposite side of this. I'm really close friends with an INFP. But I have at times been tempted to just give up on her due to behaviors that are off-putting. Sometimes she'll not return messages, rarely reach out to me first, often not tell me what's on her mind, and sometimes seem to act as though I don't matter very much. And she'll get mad if I take offense to any of this. Yet, she calls me her best friend. She is my best friend too.. but these behaviors make it hard sometimes.

I am sure I'm not perfect either. I've been trying to learn more about INFP so I can understand better, because I don't want to give up on her (just yet).

[Blackbird]

The trick is not to care too much about people who don't care much about you.
Save your deep affections for a friend who treats you well and lets you know you're important to them.

Couldn't have said it better.

I've found that the more tolerant I teach myself to be, the easier time I have keeping and appreciating my friends. I'm a person who's pretty easily bothered, and pretty picky (oh, they mentioned liking Fox News, ten years of friendship will have to end now), but I've learned to become less ridiculous and realize that you can never like everything about a person, just as they won't like everything about you. Compromise has to be made in every relationship. That's not to say that you can never grow apart from people or that you have to stay friends with people who make you miserable. But sometimes we're so blinded with anger towards another person that we don't realize we're really angry with ourselves.

[Blue Butterfly]

Friends? What is that? I will tell you friends are, they are just people that will eventually stab you in one way or the other.

[Indigo Aria]

(oh, they mentioned liking Fox News, ten years of friendship will have to end now)

...this is a legitimate reason to shun someone. But anyways, I couldn't agree with you more, learning to just let things go can turn your life around. I learned that the hard way...

[Myshe]

I don't keep contact with people who don't show interest in me.

I find it's a hard thing to balance, trying not to put energy into a friendship that isn't reciprocated, but also not wanting to let it go if you don't have to.
There have been times I've had to walk away from friends who hurt me and wouldn't apologize; I'd give them the chance to explain themselves, but when they just don't seem to care, I dont think there's much you can do to make them.

On the upside, I also have friends who rarely initiate contact (and others with whom I'm guilty of doing this myself) but when I do call they're always glad to hear from me. And it feels alright.

[amanda32]

I am on the opposite side of this. I'm really close friends with an INFP. But I have at times been tempted to just give up on her due to behaviors that are off-putting. Sometimes she'll not return messages, rarely reach out to me first, often not tell me what's on her mind, and sometimes seem to act as though I don't matter very much. And she'll get mad if I take offense to any of this. Yet, she calls me her best friend. She is my best friend too.. but these behaviors make it hard sometimes.

I am sure I'm not perfect either. I've been trying to learn more about INFP so I can understand better, because I don't want to give up on her (just yet).

If she says you are her best friend than I think she means it.
She's probably very introverted and needs a lot of time alone.
Often I don't tell people what's on my mind because it's depressing and I don't want to burden other
people with my depressing thoughts. INFP's are prone to depressing thoughts.

Is she very busy? Sometimes we take a while to return messages because we're thinking about your question or waiting until we're in the right "mood" to answer you.

These are only possibilities. She could just be...not a very good friend. What is her heart like? Is it good or do you find her selfish?

[NeedsNewNameNow]

If she says you are her best friend than I think she means it.

She's probably very introverted and needs a lot of time alone.

I think she means it. She needs time alone sometimes, but since I've known her, more often than not she'd talk to me. It is just when she goes for days and doesn't respond to me at all, I have a hard time accepting that. At least send a short message explaining why you can't talk!

Often I don't tell people what's on my mind because it's depressing and I don't want to burden other
people with my depressing thoughts. INFP's are prone to depressing thoughts.

I know she does this. I don't mind if she opens up to me, in fact, I'd like her to. I tell her everything. Sometimes she seems afraid to tell me things, as though I might get mad.. I'd rather her tell me.

Is she very busy? Sometimes we take a while to return messages because we're thinking about your question or waiting until we're in the right "mood" to answer you.

she is very busy. She's always been very busy since I've known her, and that usually doesn't stop her from talking to me for at least a little bit. The messages that get ignored aren't complex

These are only possibilities. She could just be...not a very good friend. What is her heart like? Is it good or do you find her selfish?

I am still trying to figure that out. She has been good to me in the past. I think she's basically good, but maybe needs to work on social skills?

[calysco]

I am on the opposite side of this. I'm really close friends with an INFP. But I have at times been tempted to just give up on her due to behaviors that are off-putting. Sometimes she'll not return messages, rarely reach out to me first, often not tell me what's on her mind, and sometimes seem to act as though I don't matter very much. And she'll get mad if I take offense to any of this. Yet, she calls me her best friend. She is my best friend too.. but these behaviors make it hard sometimes.

I am sure I'm not perfect either. I've been trying to learn more about INFP so I can understand better, because I don't want to give up on her (just yet).

ugh :( that sounds like me in high school. my behavior back then was incredibly rude and embarrassing. it wasn't until i ended up fucking over a valuable friendship due to my insecurities that i finally learned such behaviors were unacceptable.

my personal reasons for doing this might not be the same as your friend, but it's because since i was a kid, showing my real emotions were unacceptable, usually resulting in ridicule or backlash. furthermore, i became used to the notion that in order for people to like me i had to keep giving. i was also terribly afraid of getting too close to a person because i wasnt able to handle the feelings inside and felt extremely awkward.

it seems that if you directly challenge her on her behavior, she'll get offended so what i would recommend is to give her the current situation between you guys, tweak the story a bit (change genders, say it's a friend/cousin, change a bit of the details but keep the principle the same) and ask her what she would do. then do that