[INFP] how do i turn off my humanity

how do i turn off my humanity

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This is a discussion on how do i turn off my humanity within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; i know this might sound over dramatic but i just don't wanna have to care anymore. it's too draining not ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    how do i turn off my humanity

    i know this might sound over dramatic but i just don't wanna have to care anymore. it's too draining not only emotionally but physically as well. just shortly after that thread i made about making out with some guy at a party, my ex came back into my life and he said that this time everything would be perfect. i believed him, and i was actually supposed to move back into my toronto apartment today so i could be closer to him, but this morning everything changed. he told me that we could never be together and that this long distance thing wont work out because there are just too many complications. he says this all the time when stress becomes too much and weeks later he gets in contact with me and we're back at it, but this time he was just hurtful. he went on to say how he has passed up so many girls and that he is going to find someone else. lol i nearly had a heart attack, i just wished that i had never met him because ive never felt that much hurt in my life. it was so unbearable and after going through this so many times i WISH that there was some way to not care anymore. i don't want to cry, i don't want to be upset.
    refugee, Blacktide and Gel E. thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    What a dick.....my opinion aside hahaha

    Not feeling or numbing pain doesn't do you any good miss, that is a big no no as it does not solve the problem. You're running in the wrong direction, you'll get over it faster if you let it out and then move on how ever slowly. You eventually get tired of crying and all that because its been exhausting, but it's better than acting like nothing bad happened and that you're perfectly happy. There's no valid reason to try and lie to yourself. So go talk to some friends or family, even some random on the internet, get it out and vent all your frustrations maybe even into a journal/diary.
    But my solid advice for this is, denying you feel is like denying its raining. There's no point in being in denial, its better to go its raining but instead of thinking it's going to rain forever you must remember that the sun soon will be shining.
    SuperNova85, Hypernova, Lune and 1 others thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    Ever touch a hot oven and get a burn? Sure, it's painful, but the pain let's you know you are being injured and that you need to do something.

    If the pain of feeling is that intense, its time to do something about it. Don't be a victim any longer. Find someone that respects you. Listen to the song "Baggage Claim" from Miranda Lambert. Your ex has too much baggage. You can't help him and he's not going to get his act together anytime soon. Let him deal with his own dysfunction. In the meantime, its time to fix up your own life. Make decisions that benefit yourself. That includes where you live, who you hang around with, and who you have any communications with. Empower yourself. Let your pain give you the resolve you need to break this cycle. Claim something better in your life. You deserve so much better, girlfriend. ;)

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists


    I'm really sorry to read that you are going through this... I guess your tears just shows you how much you do love him still ?

    Maybe it is best not to put ALL your eggs into that single basket and make a lot of decisions based on him? If he means it seriously, then he has to earn your trust back, cos what we can get easily is not or ever appreciated any way. This is also a way to or for INFP to control their Fi too. I think I was also the same, to let my Fi always drive my decisions quickly, and asap. I have often or used to land in hot waters which I was blaise about, but at some point, you have to grow to be that bit smarter. Not suppress yourself but to slowly let Fi build up solidly...

    Remember one thing though. You are still you, and you can indeed be selfish and you do not have to do everything as he says. You can still want to be with him but you can also set down your own conditions for him to follow too. That is, if he is absolutely genuine too, and really want to try this. Cos he will do it as well... It takes a little time to get back to that same spot where you guys left. Doing it this way won't hurt as much and you will rebuild. Maybe he is unsure right now and is bouncing back and forth and is not used to it as well.... but getting to a steady place where heads are cleared is important I think.
    lifeisanillusion and FirstQueen thanked this post.

  5. #5
    Unknown Personality

    thank you all so much for your kind words, you really don't know how much it means to me. jeez, for someone turning 21 this month it still feels like i'm a little child, but as lana del rey once said in her interviews, "I'm a very happy person, but life is hard sometimes and relationships are shit sometimes."

    it's only been less than a week but things are looking up for me. Schwarzkopf Professional held a hair model call today and even though it was my first time, i left the building with a model release form and a business card which had a time and date on it for next sunday. i still think about him but i finally have something to distract me and i can feel that it's only a matter of time before he's a sting of the past.
    SuperNova85, lifeisanillusion and Laeona thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFP - The Idealists

    Sorry to say this, but I don't think there's a way to stop being human. I often wish I could just turn off my emotions and put myself on auto pilot, but I can't. Perhaps that's why I contemplate suicide, because I want to have control over my life. What society wants from me is to be something totally different than what I imagine for myself. Unfortunately, if you don't fit it and fall in line, it's over for you. Some people like that kind of structure and predictability, but I prefer to find my own way, or have someone I admire show me the way. This has always been the philosopher's dilemma...to be in control of your life. No one's ever really been in control ever. You just follow the herd, until something happens and you die. I guess dying would be the only way to truly turn it off. Finding meaning in your struggle, that would help you get over this desire to turn it off. Every human achievement was accomplished because they found some kind of meaning in their struggle. Media portrays this quite well. Humanity always blowing itself up, but then finding a way to rally.


    sorry...stream of consciousness...maybe didn't sense....
    lifeisanillusion, mushr00m, gatsby and 1 others thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by FirstQueen View Post
    thank you all so much for your kind words, you really don't know how much it means to me. jeez, for someone turning 21 this month it still feels like i'm a little child, but as lana del rey once said in her interviews, "I'm a very happy person, but life is hard sometimes and relationships are shit sometimes."

    it's only been less than a week but things are looking up for me. Schwarzkopf Professional held a hair model call today and even though it was my first time, i left the building with a model release form and a business card which had a time and date on it for next sunday. i still think about him but i finally have something to distract me and i can feel that it's only a matter of time before he's a sting of the past.
    This is awesome news! Good luck :D May good things come your way

  8. #8
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by Laeona View Post
    This is awesome news! Good luck :D May good things come your way
    Thanks dear. I had a rude awakening this morning, but I only let it set me back for about 5 minutes. Apparently he has a new girlfriend and life is great for him. Good for him I guess, but I cant help but think he cheated on me or had some sort of relationship with someone else while we were together. It's just so hard for me to wrap my head around the whole thing. How do you go from saying you love me and that I mean absolutely everything to you, to finding a new girlfriend... in less than 2 weeks. Whatever, it's over and done with. I don't really care about any of it, but I find that kind of behavior absolutely repulsive.
    Last edited by FirstQueen; 02-07-2013 at 12:58 PM.

  9. #9
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    You cannot turn your humanity off. Who is posses the humanity that you wish to turn off? You or you? That doesn't make sense. :)Also, be careful with equating humanity with naÔvity. I do not mean to offend here, I am a very naÔve person myself, and I have fallen into the trap many times. This is something that comes with being an idealist, I believe. When you finally have perfection in your sight, you get target fascination, and forget to pull the parachute, and you hit the ground. Your ex sounds like a dick, but you couldn't help yourself. Don't beat yourself up over that, it's fine, but try to learn from it. A mistake is only a mistake until you learn from it. You express that you wish you had never met him. I'll say to that, that if it weren't him it would be somebody else. Your frame of mind was ready for that person, but you have seen what he did to you, and so you wont go for such a person again. You got smarter, and that's precious. Trust me, if you lost your ability to care, you would be miserable. Life would have no depth, it would be like an ocean that's only as deep as a puddle. You can only get your feet wet. Life is about diving in, taking it all in, and that means getting hurt too. After all, if you were never hurt, how would you know when you were alright? Pain implies pleasure, and vice versa. You cannot have one without the other. Seeking pleasure or joy alone is to take on an impossible task. There IS such a thing as too much of a good thing.
    Gel E. thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by FirstQueen View Post
    Thanks dear. I had a rude awakening this morning, but I only let it set me back for about 5 minutes. Apparently he has a new girlfriend and life is great for him. Good for him I guess, but I cant help but think he cheated on me or had some sort of relationship with someone else while we were together. It's just so hard for me to wrap my head around the whole thing. How do you go from saying you love me and that I mean absolutely everything to you, to finding a new girlfriend... in less than 2 weeks. Whatever, it's over and done with. I don't really care about any of it, but I find that kind of behavior absolutely repulsive.
    Oh god, he's such a maggot. FirstQueen, get as far away as you can from that piece of gosa.
    FirstQueen thanked this post.


 
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