[Iwtes]

While reading through websites about infp stuff, I noticed something say that infp's can become cynical. I don't remember exactly what it said though. Anyway, I'm starting to think I've become a cynic. Over the last few years, I've heard my friends say that I'm negative, melancholy, untrusting, etc. The last one was more recent. Anyway, I started feeling a long time ago that those things are true.

Negative- I don't feel I will do well in my coming adulthood, I don't feel a good relationship is within my reach. I often think about how things can go wrong.



Melancholy- Depressed fairly often

Untrusting- (I guess) I don't often share my feelings with anyone, even friends/family. I also suspect people all the time of not being genuine or being someone else wearing a mask. It bugs my friend when he says that he wanted to go visit a person he only knows online because they might be having an operation, and I said that people are different in person and that his friends online might not be the people he thinks of them as.

So, is this what a cynical INFP looks like, or is there more to it? I can say I'm 17, and some people will snap and say "oh, that explains it!" and "Oh, he'll grow out of it." That might be true, but I'm unsure and doubt it. Thoughts anyone?

[murderegina]

I'm a very cynical person. And I haven't always been this way. Maybe something has triggered it for you? I think a lot of it is a coping mechanism like most behavior. I think to every trait there is a happy medium though. Yes, it is good to be untrusting..a safe sense of wariness is smart. Negativity is just a "negative" way to look at realism, such as not being overly zealous in your goals. Just remember as an INFP, regulate yourself. Don't become consumed in your feelings. It can be a vicious cycle where you'll keep beating yourself up. The key to solving any internal conflict is find the root of the problem, then challenge it with the question, "Am I being honest with myself?" Most of us go our whole lives not being truthful and making ourselves and people we love feel bad. And if you can start doing this, you'll feel better. The idea that there's a quintessential, cynical INFP will never be the case. It more or less is healthy INFP tendencies verses unhealthy ones. Your feelings don't control your life, you control your feelings. The mind can do anything it needs to so don't stop believing that you choose to be a happy, healthy person or else it won't happen. It's like in the book "The Alchemist" where you're told the only responsibility you have as a person is to find out your destiny and surely that isn't a melancholy world. I hope this doesn't come across as condescending because I don't mean it that way at all.

[HorrorGeek]

I've been a cynical INFP for as long as I can remember. I didn't understand it for the longest time, and then I saw this George Carlin quote:

"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist."

Once I saw that, it made more sense. I try to be less cynical/morose, but it's never easy.

[NinjaSwan]

Murderegina put it the best I think. At least for me, I fell into the cycle of not just being cynical but extremely negative in everything I did. I let my feelings control me.

Although I still tend to be a very cynical person, even tho I try not to be. Like HorrorGeek said, it's not easy

[Mutatio NOmenis]

Maybe your t-ness is showing. *gasp.*

[roxtehproxy]

Maybe your t-ness is showing. *gasp.*

Claim

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[android654]

So, is this what a cynical INFP looks like, or is there more to it? I can say I'm 17, and some people will snap and say "oh, that explains it!" and "Oh, he'll grow out of it." That might be true, but I'm unsure and doubt it. Thoughts anyone?

I was told the same thing when I was between 15-17, I'm 21 now and people are still telling me that. I honestly think cynicism when put to the world at large is simply seeing the truth as it is. The world is disguting, cold and cruel. People saythe way I look at the world is negative, I think I'm simply looking. When it comes to myself as an individual, I think some of it depends on current situations.

[Euphoric Nocturne]

There have been times where I would feel cynical. I think it just feels like a mood to me, to shift from idealism to cynicism and vice versa. Conan O'Brien said something in is final speech on the Tonight Show that struck me (skip to 3:24). I don't know if anybody here watches him, but I just thought it was worth sharing.

[amanda32]

cynicism leads me to depression.
Depression leads to unhappiness.
Why be cynical?
The wold has always been and will always be full of mean and cruel people.
"Be the difference you want to see in the world"

[neptunesky]

I'm nearly twenty and I can relate to you quite well. People have also described me as negative. I tend to overanalyse the fuck out of things.

I can't say I'm a cynic. I can't say I'm an optimist either. It all depends how I'm feeling. If things are going bad, I have trouble finding optimism. The situation is already hopeless so how on earth can it get better?

I sometimes like to think I'm being brutally honest... but in reality, I'm just being negative. (There IS difference from being realistic to negativity) I have trouble finding hope in certain situations and oh lawd, boy do I regret not being more hopeful! If I had more hope, things may have been different. I always hold myself back because I believe nothing good will come out of it. I tell myself "if it hasn't in the past, why would things be different now?". I'm like this when it comes to relationships, new experiences etc etc. Especially relationships.

I'm trying to be more optimistic these days. I have loads of good things in my life. I gotta concentrate on that , not the bad stuff. It's very hard but possible.