INFP-INTP Friendship

INFP-INTP Friendship

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This is a discussion on INFP-INTP Friendship within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; My brother is my favorite person in the world. Hes an INTP, and while we agree on alot of things ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    INFP-INTP Friendship

    My brother is my favorite person in the world. Hes an INTP, and while we agree on alot of things it seems like that's pretty much all of what we do, agree rather than soak in. I listen to his crazy conspiracy theories, while he listens to my quests for personal enlightement(vague generalization i know..). but what im trying to say is, it seems like we have the same goals but under a different banner if that makes any sense. And hes someone i don't entirely understand. So this is an open ended question, about psychology, and other things. I would like to understand where he's coming from, and i also would like to hear about infp-intp friendships in general. Whats your experience with INTP's on a friendship level or vice versa.
    my melody, giraffe11, Lady Starbird and 4 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    They're really easy to talk to, but be prepared for everything between you to be cold and distant. My best friend for around ten years was an INTP. While he had feelings and crap, they weren't important to him, and would be sent right to the back whenever discussing anything philosophical, moral, or speculative. Back then, I was going through my "everything is terrible" phase, talked most of the time about how life and the world was meaningless and worthless, and he would analyze my thoughts in a very detached way. I was probably a good conversation partner for him, even if I think he was annoyed a lot of the time by my one-sidedness. (back then I typed as INTP, and I was surprised when I found out he was the same... I interpreted his detachment as him being a no-nonsense S-type)

    I like them quite a bit, but really, I couldn't survive on the friendship of an INTP alone. Or at least not the friendship of that particular INTP, even if he was a cool person. It was very stimulating, and he challenged me all the time, made me develop a more logical core, but I just felt lonely talking to him.
    ThatGuy01, lonewolf, Blackbird and 3 others thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INTP - The Thinkers

    INFPs are my favourite people to be friends with. I can connect to them on a deep level (or at least the illusion of depth) in a way I can't with other Thinkers. They're just so open and honest, they just know who they are and they try to be that every day, and I really admire and respect that. I just want to pick up INFPs and give them a cuddle. :)
    my melody, Zygomorphic, RainbowShield and 12 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    I've yet to meet an INTP that I didn't like.

    Turran is probably one of the best friends I have on here, and he's an INTP
    ThatGuy01, CoH and cvinitak thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    My best friend in middle school is an INTP. We had the funniest jokes and the best part was; only we really understood them. Our senses of humor blended so well. Every time we’d stay over at each others’ houses, we’d stay up late and laugh and laugh. It was amazing. I’m so glad we were best friends. It seems like we always had something to talk about but there was ALWAYS something to laugh about. I consider myself lucky to have had a friend like that.
    my melody, ThatGuy01, daedaln and 3 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFP - The Idealists

    My sister is an INTP and she is my best friend.

    We were archenemies as children. When she said something mean to me (but it was funny to her), I would chase her around our room, through the hallway, and into the living room trying to choke her or make her say sorry. She usually landed in my mom's lap. Our mom offered her belly and made us both hit her instead. But we always wanted to strangle each other!!!

    Over summers, we had tea parties without the tea. We built boxes out of leftover wood in the backyard and planted sunflowers together. Sometimes we fried eggs and baked biscuits for each other just in time to watch cartoons on weekend mornings, snuggled under a big blanket.

    We have fought over many petty things that represented larger principles. They seemed petty to other people, but for us, we were standing for our different ideals. Like closing the bread bag. Once I got mad at her for not closing the bread bag. But it really wasn't about closing the damn bread bag. It was about her response, "I always close the bread bag!" I found two things wrong with that statement. It wasn't true that she always closed the bread bag because she left things open or lying around half the time. Additionally, I was bothered by her constant use of universal statements -- always, never, etc. So we didn't speak for months after the bread bag incident. Our friends think we are strange.

    But then one of us would slip a note under the other's door a few months later saying how we missed the other. We got into lots of fights. We made up a lot. And nobody can understand her like I can. And at this point, no one can understand me as she does.

    We don't argue or get mad nearly as often as we used to. We hug many times a day. Sometimes I wonder if this is what marriage is like.

    Sometimes we joke that she needs to find a male version of me and I need to find a male version of her. And life would be perfect.

    She has learned how to hug her friends and show affection from me. And I have learned how to write 5 point arguments in emails and for debates. I point out body language. She points out fallacies. We love each other very much.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by giraffe11 View Post
    My sister is an INTP and she is my best friend.
    Just goes to show that myers-briggs can't predict who's going to get along with who.

    I envy you.
    ThatGuy01 and cvinitak thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    One of my two closest friends is an INFP, and the other is an INTP, so it's really interesting to have that contrast. I value both equally, but for different reasons.

    My INFP friend is warm and personable. He always asks me how I'm feeling, or doesn't need to ask because he knows. He's always ready to lend a sympathetic ear and to go, "Man, that sucks. I hope things get better." We geek about stuff, and I feel very emotionally close to him, but there are things we just don't talk about, like philosophy or religion. He's more interested in video games.

    My INTP friend, on the other hand, is the perfect balance. While I don't always feel like I can share every bit of my personality or life with him, I do always feel like myself, and I can show him the side I can't always show the INFP - that is, I don't often talk to him about my emotional life, but I feel much freer to say what comes to mind instead of walking on eggshells. I never feel the need to pretend to be kinder or less selfish than I am. We're more concerned with having fun and talking about "important subjects" than we are about making each other feel good, which, oddly enough, often makes me feel quite good. :P

    While I appreciate my INFP friend showing concern for me when the roads are icy or when I'm tired, etc, it sometimes borders on mother hen territory, and there is no such nonsense from the INTP. I remember when hanging out with the INTP one snowy night, I got a text from the INFP to the tune of "let me know when you are home so I don't have to worry," and half of my reaction was, "Aw, he cares," and the other half was, "Oh my god I'm twenty years old." The INTP snorted and told me flat out that he'd never do something like that, because he wouldn't be worried.

    It's freeing to talk to him and know that even if something isn't worded in the most tactful way possible, he'll still get the gist, and he won't take offense if none was meant. This in turn encourages me not to take offense where none is meant. Talking to him about emotions is refreshing, because I know he's not interested in feeling sympathy for sympathy's sake. I don't tend to get self-pitying around him - his realism tends to rub off on me. It's great to see how logical and practical he is, too. I love being an INFP, but I feel like my INTP helps me to grow in ways I wouldn't be able to alone, into a more well-rounded and realistic person.
    ThatGuy01, giraffe11, R2-D2 and 2 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    Two of my best friends are INTP's. I get along with them perfectly and cannot remember ever having an argument with them. With both, we always knew what each other was thinking, and our ideas always seemed to coincide. I can talk to them about anything!
    ThatGuy01 thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by giraffe11 View Post
    My sister is an INTP and she is my best friend.

    We were archenemies as children. When she said something mean to me (but it was funny to her), I would chase her around our room, through the hallway, and into the living room trying to choke her or make her say sorry. She usually landed in my mom's lap. Our mom offered her belly and made us both hit her instead. But we always wanted to strangle each other!!!

    Over summers, we had tea parties without the tea. We built boxes out of leftover wood in the backyard and planted sunflowers together. Sometimes we fried eggs and baked biscuits for each other just in time to watch cartoons on weekend mornings, snuggled under a big blanket.

    We have fought over many petty things that represented larger principles. They seemed petty to other people, but for us, we were standing for our different ideals. Like closing the bread bag. Once I got mad at her for not closing the bread bag. But it really wasn't about closing the damn bread bag. It was about her response, "I always close the bread bag!" I found two things wrong with that statement. It wasn't true that she always closed the bread bag because she left things open or lying around half the time. Additionally, I was bothered by her constant use of universal statements -- always, never, etc. So we didn't speak for months after the bread bag incident. Our friends think we are strange.

    But then one of us would slip a note under the other's door a few months later saying how we missed the other. We got into lots of fights. We made up a lot. And nobody can understand her like I can. And at this point, no one can understand me as she does.

    We don't argue or get mad nearly as often as we used to. We hug many times a day. Sometimes I wonder if this is what marriage is like.

    Sometimes we joke that she needs to find a male version of me and I need to find a male version of her. And life would be perfect.

    She has learned how to hug her friends and show affection from me. And I have learned how to write 5 point arguments in emails and for debates. I point out body language. She points out fallacies. We love each other very much.

    Lol, in retrospect me and my brother were very at odds as children too. He'd always be taking something apart or building something, then id run along and destroy all of it!


 
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