Is moving to a city and bigger high school a good idea?

**BrandonScott** · 08-30-2012 09:42 PM

Alright, so I just started Grade 11 a couple days ago, and in all reality, it seems nobody cares about me and I don't care about them anymore. I'm bored and have been drifting away from the group of friends I usually hang out with. There are about 60-70 students total in my grade this year and I'm from a small town, so the school is quite small compared to a city school.

Basically, I talked to my mother today and she said we can move to the city now, or we can wait until I'm done high school. I have been sick of everyone since January save my family, so I seriously considered the thought. I just don't know if I really should move, or if people will warm up to me here for a couple years. I have been going to school with some of these people since preschool, and I still have a couple good friends and I just don't know if the jump is worth it. I'm also quite nervous about finding new friends, since everyone seems to treat me so coldly here, I'm starting to think maybe it's just me.

On the other hand, I don't want to be stuck in this dead end town forever and I'm scared that if I don't leave now, I will miss out on getting out or something to that effect. On the other hand, I want to find some friends I can start a band with, as only me and my best friend here in town seriously play music, so we can't really start a band with just two guitarists/singers. I know performing and writing music is what I want to do for the rest of my life, so it's pretty serious. I'm in a massive knot, and I need some INFP's that think like me to help me out because I can't help myself out. Please help me.

**Dark Romantic** · 08-30-2012 09:52 PM

I'd say go for it. The reason why is, if things have been getting worse and worse, and you're looking for a better experience, staying in the same place really isn't going to accomplish that. If you're a massive social introvert, going to a bigger school can actually be an advantage, as you're likely to find other introverts, or at least, people who share your interests. If you find it reasonably simple to meet people and make friends, then going to a new school is a great idea, since people tend to take an interest in the new kid by default, so you'll find it pretty easy.

**BrandonScott** · 08-30-2012 10:02 PM

I guess I touch into my extrovert side once in a while. I can be quite outgoing for a bit, but it's only a little store of energy. I don't party at all or hang out with friends much, I'm usually in my room after school. I was pulling pranks on teachers last year. So it can be reasonably simple to talk to people for me and I can be pretty talkative if I want to, but I also am usually pretty shy.

**infpblog** · 08-31-2012 12:42 AM

Originally Posted by Brandon.

Alright, so I just started Grade 11 a couple days ago, and in all reality, it seems nobody cares about me and I don't care about them anymore. I'm bored and have been drifting away from the group of friends I usually hang out with. There are about 60-70 students total in my grade this year and I'm from a small town, so the school is quite small compared to a city school.

Basically, I talked to my mother today and she said we can move to the city now, or we can wait until I'm done high school. I have been sick of everyone since January save my family, so I seriously considered the thought. I just don't know if I really should move, or if people will warm up to me here for a couple years. I have been going to school with some of these people since preschool, and I still have a couple good friends and I just don't know if the jump is worth it. I'm also quite nervous about finding new friends, since everyone seems to treat me so coldly here, I'm starting to think maybe it's just me.

On the other hand, I don't want to be stuck in this dead end town forever and I'm scared that if I don't leave now, I will miss out on getting out or something to that effect. On the other hand, I want to find some friends I can start a band with, as only me and my best friend here in town seriously play music, so we can't really start a band with just two guitarists/singers. I know performing and writing music is what I want to do for the rest of my life, so it's pretty serious. I'm in a massive knot, and I need some INFP's that think like me to help me out because I can't help myself out. Please help me.

Things that moving to a big city won't change: People caring about you.

There's a reason why the people treat you the way they do. Most people just react to stimuli. The reason why they don't care about you here will be the same reason why the people in the city won't care for you either. Moving isn't going to change that. I'd figure that reason before you move.

Things that moving to a big cit will change: Number of opportunities.

I moved from a very small town of maybe 3000 to city of 85,000. In my small town everyone went to the lake to drink on weekends because that was all there was to do. I'm glad I moved in after grade school. I started biking like crazy because the city was big. I started taking martial arts. They didn't have that in the small town I grew up in.

The reason to move is for a chance at opportunity. More people to meet. More people to date...if you can figure out what you're doing that's currently turning off the people around you now.

**Floatingnotthinking** · 08-31-2012 07:18 AM

It's as if I wrote this post myself... except my mom isn't offering for us to move to a bigger city

Guess I'll have to wait until college then.

**OpRise** · 08-31-2012 01:34 PM

Some people don't like the anonymity of the city, and feel lost in the crowd. Personally, that's just the way I prefer it, and moving to the city was the best thing that happened to me when I was in my teens. Not only was I exposed to new ideas and experiences, I also - as INFPBlog said - had more access to opportunities I would not have had in the small town I grew up in. If you're bored where you are and have nothing else tying you to place, and have the Opportunity to meet like-minded folks who might want to be in a band with you, why not take the risk? You don't really have anything to lose, and at the very least you'll be exposing yourself to another world of experience => learning and growing as a person, even if the short term proves to be a difficult transition for some reason.

**BrandonScott** · 09-01-2012 11:01 PM

Alright, thanks lots. I've decided to do so and move, because by now everybody in this town thinks they know who I am when they don't.

**Bago** · 09-02-2012 11:59 PM

One golden nugget I can offer you is:
Do things for the right reasons.

Always do the things which is floating round your mind, cos that is your own inner instinct.
e.g. if you feel that other people do not know you, then get to know them first in order for them to hope and be the same way out of courtesy to get to know you too. People make connections and emotionally tie to someone else either because they make an effort, or that they have a shared experience, or wish to share stories etc.

Do not do things based on other people's expectations...