[thistled bones]

Diary time. Not really proofreading, just puking up my thoughts to get it out.
Spilling my guts in 3 2 1
/commence whining/

I happen to be sitting on my new bed, in my new dorm, in my new college at the moment.
I moved in yesterday, and I'm having trouble adjusting.

I'm getting along with my roommate, but I feel incredibly lonely.
It's a wonder to me how I ever made friends in highschool.
I hear people down the hall all laughing and having a good time. Occaisionally I see some people around campus I'd really love to get to know.

I do plan on joining clubs, and granted, classes haven't started yet and it's only been a day and a half,

but I'm just... beside myself. Homesickness, and dissatisfaction with my major, little confidence in my ability to keep up with classes, little privacy, etc. I feel like I won't meet people I have things in common with because I'm in a major where I know I won't find people who have many things in common with me. I should be in a humanities major.

(wahwahwah right? first world problems)

I wan't to study history education, but my parents want me to study communicative disorders. They're paying my full tuition, so it's not like I can just tell them no. Again, classes haven't started, and idk if i'll even like my major yet at this point. Who knows, I could be very good at it and like it alot

But something tells me I won't. I just really want to teach history.

Although, honestly, what do I know? I could have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about.


Not looking for advice, per say, just thoughts. If you went to college, how was your freshman year, or your college experience in general?

Thanks. : (

[_nat]

Whine away! I empathize quite a bit... I was pretty lonely when I started college too. (Still am, but it was worse during my first semester.) I didn't know anyone else at the time, and I had to live alone off-campus rather than in a dorm with a roommate. I eventually became involved with a few organizations, but my personality and lack of common interests with other people prevented me from making any real connections with people. The only time I really associated with my classmates was when they needed someone to tutor them.

Since you're interested in history, I'd recommend looking for a history club and getting involved as soon as possible. If your interests are more specific, look for specific clubs! Check out as many of them as you can. Don't feel like you have to stay involved with every club you visit.

Regarding your major, have you talked (really talked) to your parents about what you want to do? I know it can be hard to argue for your own interests sometimes, but this is something important, so my advice is to make it as clear as possible to your parents what your academic and professional aspirations are, and make sure they understand how important those aspirations are. Of course, most students end up switching majors a few times anyway, and you'll probably be taking general-requirement courses now anyway, so don't stress too much about it your first semester.

So relax a bit, try to get comfortable in this new environment, and explore academic and social possibilities!

[boredToDeath]

It's okay, you just moved into the dorms and it's your first semester of university, I think what you're feeling is pretty normal :P I remember my first semester, it was scary for me too, and I was (and still am) uncertain of my major, and when it comes to friends, you only really pair up with the people that you like, it just happens naturally, somehow xD So the INFP-loneliness kind of dulls out, which is nice. It never goes away though, it's just there, idk why the heck it never wants to go away xD

I think it would be a good idea to try to leave the clubs and other time/effort-consuming activities to next semester; university workload is....interesting :P

I'm in my second year of university btw. Well, officially at least; I've already taken one year of university in my home country, but no, new country I'm living in now wants me to go through first year again, and I have to comply, so technically I'm in my third year, I think. Probably xP

University is kind of different than school socially, because it's 'okay' to make friends with people from higher years, well, most of them anyways. Don't try to force yourself into meeting people like in school, just take your time and let it happen naturally. Get a planner and abuse it (something we INFP's have to be conscious of :P), stay on top of things and you'll be fine academically. Pick up hobbies and watch your soul, spirit, and your identity grow, stay in touch with your family and you won't feel so homesick. Swap majors as much as you like, you can always go back and forth during your first 2 years easily as long as you have good grades, maybe even in your 3rd year. And don't worry, you'll be fine; it's just 4 years! :)

P.S: I did all of the above things. Not easy, but definitely a fun and interesting experience, I have to say :D

[Joseph]

Oh god I was just like that my first semester. I thought I was completely screwed socially, and clung to high school friends and girlfriend. I tried to force myself into what I wanted to be, rather than what I enjoyed doing. I would go out and try to be social with people who clearly wouldn't like me. I would go back to my room feeling ostracized and depressed. Once I actually did what I enjoyed, I could meet other people that do the same, and made a tons of friends.

Now I'm itching to go back university in a week. I DESPERATELY want to go back and see all my friends again.

I'm a STEM major, but I've never been obsessed with science or math like that. I just like puzzles. I've always been big into philosophy and music, and there are more than enough 'artsy' or whatever type of people in my classes. Of my closest friends who are also CS majors...

H: CS/Painting double major
R: CS and he plays in a band, and in a frat.
A: CS and he's minoring in philosophy, plays in my band
G: CS and he writes music reviews for my schools newspaper. Smokes all the time...

Anyways, not all STEM majors are stuffy nerds obsessed with money and science or whatever. Three of them go to frat parties every weekend, A and I don't like them though. So don't worry!

[robespierre]

Oh you sound just like me! Im a sophomore now and I start next week.
the first month of freshman year was fucking horrible. I, like you, am in a major that a lot of people in my school arent in...therefore i didnt take the popular freshman classes that everyone takes and meets people in. Omg so much went on but just know that in the end, your life decisions will affect you more than anyone else. Choose a major and a job that you will feel comfortable in and it is extremely hard to know what you truly want to do when so many people have such strong opinions about what you should do.

I felt lonely as hell a lot of times throughtout freshman year...I didnt click with a lot of people and now going into sophomore year, I only have 4 really good friends..no enemies though lol. But I am happy with my friends. I am not part of a major clique and I didnt go out allll the time but I still managed to have a good time.

Advice:
-If you have a facebook, please please please stay off of it if you facebook friended a lot of people from your college. It's bad when you see so many people in pics having fun and you start to think you're a loser. Most of the time, the part-goers are miserable in their personal lives but appear so happy.
-Join clubs that require people to be close-knit...I joined a mentor-mentee thing.
-NEVER doubt yourself. You made it to college and you will make it through it. If you're like me, your major downfall is the whole self pity thing. Dont just stay in your room, try to get out there and get involved.
-Start off with a positive attitude. like you're already being negative lol. things are gonna get better.

[Alextllz]

I had a totally different experience.
I diodn't want to go anywhere far because of the reasons you listed, lol.
It sucks that your parents are black mailing your major...

[JZfs720]

My freshman year wasn't too bad. It seemed like everyone else knew each other from high school, since most of the students were in-state kids, so it was hard to fit in. I would go to the library or the computer lab in between classes to kind of recharge. I loved the school library. I liked going up to the top floor with all the windows overlooking the campus and pull one of the couches up the window and just study, or daydream, or whatever. I also took my skateboard everywhere and would go off into my own world skating spots around campus. I made quite a few acquaintances that way.

[thistled bones]

Thanks guys. A lot of your responses really helped. It's been nearly a week since I created this thread, and things have changed a little, but not much. Some for the better and some for the worse.

Me and my roommate are getting along pretty great. I'm not so much homesick anymore as I am confused. Everything just feels so incredibly different, and I'm losing myself a little. The club fair is on sept. 5, so I'm gonna go check that out. I hope they have a history club.

I took a class for my major this week, and I really didn't like it. However, I'm taking two history courses that are apart of a freshman interest group that I really enjoy, and everyone in it is a education major.

I'm definitely going to talk to my parents about switching my major. I kind of hinted it to my dad on the phone and he said "this isn't about having fun, it's about being able to support yourself"

... it really broke my heart, but I'm still going to try.

Last night i went out to a party with my roommate and some people we met on our third day here. now i was having a great time with them until we went to this party. I knew I shouldn't have gone. I knew it wasn't the place for me.

We met these two guys when we were at lunch, and a few days later after spending some time with them we went to this party. I was extremely uncomfortable at this party, and what made it so much worse was one of those two guys we met (who seemed like a total gentleman before this) kept trying to get close to me and hold me. he was putting his arm around me, and on our way back to the dorm he hand his hand around my waist. i couldn't get back to my dorm fast enough.

so that's whats got me in a pretty shitty mood right now. i knew that kid for four days and he decides its okay to touch me like that. made me sick.

now i'm back to square one with no friends except for my roommate. i'm certainly not spending time with those kids again.

[mylifemyradio]

Thanks guys. A lot of your responses really helped. It's been nearly a week since I created this thread, and things have changed a little, but not much. Some for the better and some for the worse.

Me and my roommate are getting along pretty great. I'm not so much homesick anymore as I am confused. Everything just feels so incredibly different, and I'm losing myself a little. The club fair is on sept. 5, so I'm gonna go check that out. I hope they have a history club.

I took a class for my major this week, and I really didn't like it. However, I'm taking two history courses that are apart of a freshman interest group that I really enjoy, and everyone in it is a education major.

I'm definitely going to talk to my parents about switching my major. I kind of hinted it to my dad on the phone and he said "this isn't about having fun, it's about being able to support yourself"

... it really broke my heart, but I'm still going to try.

Last night i went out to a party with my roommate and some people we met on our third day here. now i was having a great time with them until we went to this party. I knew I shouldn't have gone. I knew it wasn't the place for me.

We met these two guys when we were at lunch, and a few days later after spending some time with them we went to this party. I was extremely uncomfortable at this party, and what made it so much worse was one of those two guys we met (who seemed like a total gentleman before this) kept trying to get close to me and hold me. he was putting his arm around me, and on our way back to the dorm he hand his hand around my waist. i couldn't get back to my dorm fast enough.

so that's whats got me in a pretty shitty mood right now. i knew that kid for four days and he decides its okay to touch me like that. made me sick.

now i'm back to square one with no friends except for my roommate. i'm certainly not spending time with those kids again.

You should feel flattered he was making a move on you. If you didn't like what he was doing, you have to do something to show that you're not interested. I take it since you're an INFP like me, you can be passive about things and bottle them inside. Don't. Show that you are uncomfortable with the guy touching you like that and you don't want him to, at least until after you two get to know each other.

[_nat]

You should feel flattered he was making a move on you. If you didn't like what he was doing, you have to do something to show that you're not interested.

No. Guys don't have a right to touch girls just because they are horny and the girl hasn't said "no" yet. I do agree that she should let him know that physical contact is unwanted, but I think guys should keep their hands to themselves when it comes to girls they barely know.

I'm definitely going to talk to my parents about switching my major. I kind of hinted it to my dad on the phone and he said "this isn't about having fun, it's about being able to support yourself"

... it really broke my heart, but I'm still going to try.

I'm sorry to hear that you're dad doesn't seem to appreciate your goals. You don't have to be confrontational about it, but I want to encourage you to not back down on this. This is really important. And I disagree with your dad's statement: it's not necessarily about supporting yourself; it's about being happy. A solid financial situation might help some people be/stay happy, but it's not a prerequisite. While it's true that, even if you find a good job, you're not likely to make much money as a history teacher, if it's fulfilling work that makes you happy, then that's the only thing that really matters. On the other hand, as an INFP, if you end up doing something that you don't want to do, you'll probably be miserable even if you do well financially.

And college guys are (mostly) scum. I'm one of them, so I know what it's like from the inside. =P It's especially true of guys at parties, so all the more reason to avoid them.