[ColorsOfTheMoon]

Childhood is an important phase in everybody's lives. Childhood experiences can give way to some serious insecurites that consecutively shape a part of our personalities.
Most kids play around, but I literally remember being this dreamy space cadet. I used to daydream a lot as a kid and of course, most people thought I was overly sensitive and dreamy. I could never hit people back or engage in aggressive playground fights. The tears would just fall at the drop of a hat. These rose-colored glasses I wore as a kid made everything look so grand and intimidating. Tough-looking people scared me, challenges scared me. I was pretty self-critical back then. Despite being able to perceive the good in almost everyone else.
Did you grow up fast and feel alienated too? Did you often feel like you were on a completely different page from your peers and didn't know how to connect with them? Growing up fast like, were you able to understand and feel things on a deeper level even then? Did the idealism from fantasy books get to you? And despite the emotional maturity were you slow to catch on to social customs, the ways of the (seemingly cruel) world and learn to stand up for yourself?
Of course, I'm much better off right now but childhood stigma sticks in the psyche. I'm reaching out to you guys, hoping I'm not the only one, so if you can relate, please leave a response behind. Thanks :)

[Candid Apple]

Herm. Just last night I went out to the bar in my small town. I saw a several old school mates from high school who didn't seem exactly any different then how they were. With ease they mingled with the crowd or stuck together in the typical way friends are to do when in a social setting. I was much the same, in how I were in High School. Unaware of how to go or do, stuck on the wall and wanting to get out of the social eye in any way I can, so I ended up heading to the back lot of the bar enjoying the night than stepping inside to enjoy the social air.

When I was younger it were indeed hard for others to understand what I meant or where I were coming from/going. I can't count how many times I had to reiterate what I was trying to get across. And in many ways I find that this has followed me to adulthood (if you can say that) but to a lesser degree.

Growing up I felt largely alineated. The books I read often had a strong social emphasis on injustice which really got me rattled when I walked around the high school halls with this look on my face, thinking to myself, "cogs in a wheel", and such. It was infuriating to know that this had the potential to happen, or was happening, and that my individual as with the other characters within these dystopian worlds hadn't a chance, let alone bringing others who were close to them up to speed on how exactly things went around.

Anyhow. You're not alone. And I"m sure one out of three XNFX felt the same way.

[Aqualung]

I was the only introvert in a a family of 5. Since my dad & older brother were both ESTJ I was expected to mirror them. No, I had to be the family freak & be INFP. I think that set a precedent for the rest of my life on how I deal with people.

[Wellsy]

Well I guess I was understood as being a little different but my parents have been very accommodating to my behaviour as though they wish for me to get out more and take more action they certainly are happy with who I am they just want me to do better because they want to see me be more amazing than how they view me now. Because stagnation is the enemy :)
My parents would reward me with video games which pretty much makes up most of my life really, they seem infinitely the best thing in life in my childhood and games have only gotten better and with online play its even better because i talked to people across the world mostly Australia and USA though while playing a game.
Ive always worried my parents because I seem to lack initiative but who doesnt worry about their children unless they're that awesome and capable already. Im working on in and i reckon ill be fine but its going to take some time and growth

[RetroVortex]

I remember someone from Primary School talking to me and describing me as "bubbly".

No. No I'm not. I was never really bubbly. Maybe a little when I was happy and carefree, but I've always been a pretty deep thinking introvert with a hunger to learn.

I think being misjudged was an understatement for me really.

I was a fast learner and reader, and no-one recognised and really knew how to nurture it.

In playschool I wanted to go to real school. I was shunned for being different. That hurt little 3/4 year old me. A LOT, because even if I wasn't playing like the other kids, I still wanted to feel involved, I still wanted to join in the picknic with the others. I even had my teddybear for it, but somehow I was in that locker room. Alone. Crying as my mother found me.

In junior school I read so fast, the school could not keep up, and I wanted to read highlevel books, but got stuck with the same level books for about a year or two.

Little me wrote stories and poems, good enough to place high in competitions.

But then, the slowness put me off literature somewhat. Even now, despite being able to really appreciate it, I struggle to get into books sometimes, especially lengthy ones.

And I got teased so much by those around me and even by my own family for being so sensitive. I used to cry. A LOT. But those weren't crocodile tears like other kids may of had, they were real ones. I got genuinely upset about a lot of things, and I got ridiculed for it. My old man barely understands why I cry now, but he's a little more sympathetic ever since we bonded a bit more over recent years. (My asshole brother really likes to twist the knife though, the vindictive bastard! >:X)

EDIT: I don't ever blame my parents though. They did a fantastic job raising me. Tried to get me everything I wanted/needed.
They also had to raise a highly autistic child at the same time as raising two other boys, and I admire them for their strength.

Its the eductational system I blame, for not realising and sufficiently supporting talent.

[ThatOne]

I don't remember much thinking going on when I wasn't a teenager. I do remember trusting everyone though and being overly emotional. I also remember believing I was a tiger. Relating names to things that definitely didn't fit (e.g. thinking of a stool when someone said tiger). There was something else too... oh yes! I was an overdramatic little thing (still kinda am). I hid in my mother's room thinking "No one in my family cares about me! No one loves me!" and decided to see how long it took them.

...Two hours later...

The only thing that kept me from getting bored and leaving that closet was sheer stubborness.

[Kyandigaru]

i'm misunderstood now...fuck the child part.

[ColorsOfTheMoon]

I don't remember much thinking going on when I wasn't a teenager. I do remember trusting everyone though and being overly emotional. I also remember believing I was a tiger. Relating names to things that definitely didn't fit (e.g. thinking of a stool when someone said tiger). There was something else too... oh yes! I was an overdramatic little thing (still kinda am). I hid in my mother's room thinking "No one in my family cares about me! No one loves me!" and decided to see how long it took them.

...Two hours later...

The only thing that kept me from getting bored and leaving that closet was sheer stubborness.

Hahahahaha, I'm overdramatic too. Dramatic speech just spices things up at times. The tiger part was funny. :D

[ColorsOfTheMoon]

@RetroVortex Whoa, you sound like a real prodigy! Schools can sometimes be boring, conventional places. Education should really be more student-centred and tailored for individual needs.
And I love reading, but I can't read classics because of how slow they are! Pace can totally overshadow content.

[ColorsOfTheMoon]

I was the only introvert in a a family of 5. Since my dad & older brother were both ESTJ I was expected to mirror them. No, I had to be the family freak & be INFP. I think that set a precedent for the rest of my life on how I deal with people.

Being the family freak does have a good side. It means you're unique and different. I'd rather be a freak than a duplicate.