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This is a discussion on Were you misunderstood as a child? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by ThatOne @ ColorsOfTheMoon It really does. I'm still in high school, and as much as I would ...
Toy Story clips notwithstanding, I think I was by most people, maybe even to a certain extent by my family - though I'm undecided on that. My friends completely misunderstand my introversion, mistaking this for aloofness and Aspergers and generally verbally attack this.
I also sit next to a friend, he's actually kind of similar to me now I think about it, key thing is I think he's extremley introverted like me. Anyway I sit next to him in form and after he came in one chilly, grey morning (the usual picturesque English weather, I might add) I said "Oright," and talked briefly. We sat there in a silence - though it was by no means an awkward or unwanted silence. We were both thinking about one thing or another and were fairly happy. Then, one of my other friends who were sitting infront interrupted. "Wow, why aren't you guys talking?" He was also laughing, presumabely at our silence.
Just a quick example of how it works around my parts. Trust me, that's not the worst I've gotten.
I cried a lot as a kid too, and was always picked on. In elementary it got so bad that at one point they had a hate club. Object of hate: me. I never learned to stand up for myself, and my mom always told me they were just jealous and to ignore them. Some of them really were because of my effortless good grades. It got better in grade 5 when I moved to a gifted class where I met more people I could semi relate to, made some decent friends there, not the kind you keep in touch with though. But this is also the year my brother was diagnosed with Autism, my parents marriage went downhill and I was forced to grow up pretty quickly. Grade 6 was okay apart from the living hell my family situation was. In grade 7 I was really depressed and went through an emotionless phase. I was so numb at that point. This one girl kept on taking advantage of me because I didn't stand up for myself. In grade 8 I stopped hanging out with her and drifted to a new group of friends, who I sadly didn't relate all that well to. All through middle school the popular girls would be openly rude to me and spread nasty rumors about me. One guy would purposely break my sculpture, the popular girls would call me and my artwork stupid many times. But at least in grade nine my parents finally divorced and I found real friendships, or as real as I've ever known.
I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a target of sorts, I've stopped caring all that much at this point. I've been openly taken advantage of due to my passiveness but never manipulated. I always sense when someone's trying to manipulate me.
I think I felt less misunderstood myself and felt more like I didn't understand what everyone else was doing. When I think back to myself as a kid, looking at the world, I remember feeling like everyone had something that I didn't have. It wasn't that they didn't understand me, it felt more like I didn't understand them.
In my memories, I can see myself looking on as groups of kids obsessed over this or that and not having any clue why they thought it was so important or interesting. I had things I thought were cool and interesting and would share them with people and most of the time it was accepted and I was humored, I guess. People liked me, I just had weird taste. So they'd nod and accept my weirdness but no one would really join me in it. A few ventured into my world but seldom latched on to things the way I did. I liked what I liked and if it was unpopular, it didn't faze me at all. I never cared if something was popular or fashionable and when other people did, I felt confused by them. I didn't understand why. I still don't have that desire to fit in and be "cool". I want to be liked and accepted but I am not going to pretend to like something I don't like. And to me, that was a lot of what childhood/school was about - liking all the same things as everyone else. I didn't understand that.
I was obsessing over the weeds and everyone else paid attention to the flowers. That's how it's always been.
Yes, most people, including myself, misunderstood my personality. I sort of grieve my childhood because it could have been much happier had I known and grown into my natural abilities.
1. Daydreams: Parents and teachers knew I was intelligent, but they all told me I lacked motivation, which is why I got crappy grades. I didn't realize that I was trying to create my own utopia because reality wasn't so inviting.
2. Fantasy: I was into lots of fantasy and science fiction, which made me nerd and a geek. Parents had no clue what I was talking about half the time. Friends were few and far between. Again, no real connection.
3. Being alone: For some reason when everybody was meeting up and having parties, I didn't go at all. I rarely stepped outside of my house, except for school, church, and occasional friend time.
Basically, I blame the lack of understanding on rampant ignorance, both on my part and others.