[GenericUser]

I was out when I gave my first response, so I wrote it on my phone. Now that I have a full keyboard, I guess I'm going to have to explain myself to a group of people who once again, took what I said far too seriously. Sir Icarus was correct the first time. I would never do something that ungentlemanly. It was said in jest. I ended my original post with "All glory to the Hypnotoad"; clearly the majority of things I'm saying in this thread are not meant to be taken seriously. The post opened with response to a comment I found amusing and wrote one in turn. I will not lie and say I am not a breast fetishist, but I am also not a pig. I've done many things in my life I'm not proud of, but I've not considered a woman's body more important than her character. In line with the thread; when I say something that seems callous or out of character, I'm either very angry or most likely joking.

Verse borrowed from www.BibleGateway.com

Proverbs 5
¹⁵ Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
¹⁶ Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
¹⁷ Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
¹⁸ May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
¹⁹ A loving doe, a graceful deer —
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
²⁰ Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife?
Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?

My wife: "This makes me look like a fat pig doesn't it?"
Me: "You look beautiful"

I'm thinking: When will you ever understand how beautiful you are. I love you so much you could wear anything and it could never cover up your beauty. By the way, you really do look lovely right now but I'm not going to give you the long version because for some reason you are not yet ready to believe it.

[Bago]

When I say: I like to poop in my free time
What I mean: Inverse knight cracks me up

That is SO random ! Oh, obviously I get the connections...

Me: So you do this and then this and then this ! Do you understand ???

What I mean : How can you not know this ? Isn't this standard knowledge across the board, why do people keep on doing this so wrongly, don't they think about what they are doing, plan it and THEN action it out with less errors ? Why do I keep telling them the same things? Don't they check before typing this purchase order onto the system ? Now I can't fix it, and I get their insults and attitudes and now they will blame IT once again. Oh Great. Just fantastic. Lovely morning. Felt great last night, but now my mood is dampened. Thank you soooo much. Now I know my SLA level will be breached... and I don't think I will get the bonus this year. Now I understand why my colleagues put through some fake tickets through the system, cos these kind of calls are so high volume.. Ah.. I get it now. No wonder even my manager was trying to tell me to "fake" the ticket and not reclass it, cos it is going against our stats. Sigh.... I don't like lying.

[ThatOne]

Person: Where were you yesterday?
Me: I was sick
What I really mean: I was riding my unicorn across the Atlantic ocean over a ten foot rainbow on my way to defeat the evil wizard Mskigbesoibg and his eviller sidekick Gbiosebgiksm to stop their evil plan to make all kids brush their teeth, whilst my unicorn was shitting out jelly beans and nomming on the local villagers. Where were YOU yesterday?

[Kito]

(on facebook chat)

Person: What you up to?
Me: Nothing really.
In my head: I'm listening to Metallica while browsing a forum about typology, while wondering about what the world would be like if corpses could be resurrected. But I'm not telling you any of this because I'm afraid of you judging me for it.

[MeganeOtoko]

Friend/Acquaintance (Likely extraverted): "You're staying home alone AGAIN this weekend? You should go out and have some FUN like normal people!"

My mouth: "Yeah I guess you're right..."

Me head: "Are you kidding me? It's not that I don't LIKE going out, I just have way better things that I could do than getting wasted and acting like a moron every weekend. I'd rather be doing *insert unusual, niche interest* or *insert completely unrelated second niche interest*! Man, people just don't understand how deep and complex I am, like seriously, if they could live in my thoughts for a single day, it would permanently blind/deafen them. Or maybe it's because I'm weird, and I'm not normal. Yeah that's probably it... I better keep up the whole "boring/innocent" facade, because I wouldn't want them to think I'm weird!"

Me mouth: "I think I'll go out next weekend though..."

[Candid Apple]

Roommate: "Jesus christ you're such a pig, why don't you clean up after yourself?!"

Me: "i ono, it really wasn't that messy to begin with."

What I really mean: Are you fucking seirous? So a mess isn't cleaned the first couple of seconds it were created... give me a break, and the dishes? Honestly, is it THAT unheard of to do the dishes at 4 or 5 in the morning?! Honestly? For real?!"

--

Father: "So what do you want to do with your life?"

Me: "I don't know..."

What I really mean: Not a whole lot. Live simply and happily.

[Iustinus]

Extrovert: "Hey, can I join you?"
Me: "Sure."

What I really mean: "You just ruined lunch. So much for comparing and contrasting teleology and deontology.

[zallla]

What a great thread :) Although I wish this does NOT encourage us to be too kind/shy/insecure and not express what we really feel and need and think. When I read what others have written, I can see how much also I've got to learn, so many times when I do not express myself properly...


What I say: "Would you like to see a movie?"
What I mean: "I'd love to meet you, I miss you, I wish you want to meet me too... but if you don't, you could avoid meeting me and express it nicely so I just ask 'would you like to see a movie' "

What I say: "One of my friends"
What I mean: "I open my heart for very few and this person happens to be one of them, a soul mate really. I want to be friends forever"

What I say: "Whatever"
What I mean: "I don't want to argue with you"

[Colyo]

Her: Let's go all the way!
What I say: I thought you'd never ask...
What I mean: YOU KNOW NOT WHAT FORCES YOU INVOKE, MORTAL.

[Sonne]

Me: sure, that's fine.
What I mean: No, not really. But I'm too worried about saying no, so I'll just pretend everything you say is ok, although I may disagree.