[faizafaiz]

do INFPs have serious issues with anger? in my teens, i would rarely get angry at people and when i did, i found it hard to express my anger at them if i didn't know them closely. but for those i was close to, when i got angry i could be very snappy and hurting, although it happened seldom.

over the years, with therapy and life experience, i am still the same, but i am much more aware of how much anger i carry within myself from my early childhood. i think INFPs have very strong values, and when they are violated, they find it very hard to accept and forgive the other. so far, i fail to really, truly be forgiving and accepting. it is like a frozen part of me that doesn't change, no matter what.

the anger makes me reserved, but also gives me a sense of passion to stand up for what i believe in.

i think this is also linked with the inferior extroverted thinking function, which deals with being assertive, executing things, and making your control over the situation explicit.

how do other INFPs relate to anger? do you tend to hold grudges? how do you use extroverted thinking in a healthy manner?

[FreeBeer]

This depends a lot on one's enneagram type. A lot of type 9 INFPs will say thay are rarely angry or won't know when they are, will manifest passive aggressive maybe....or blowing up out of nowhere (delayed reaction)

The other types will be different. I'm a 6 and I can get quickly angry which manifests in being confrontational, raising my voice, argumentative tendencies, as we go down into more and more anger I can lust after vengeance and use righteous fury, biting criticism and misuse of Te logic, yelling and being cold.

There was a time in my life where i was very angry at the world and others (its called being depressed). Depression is anger turned inwards, something INFPs do a lot, even 9s.

I tend to use anger as fuel.

[Mu'Amon]

I'm very good at holding my anger in. It's like -explosion- and chain it QUICKLY or other wise a short but powerful rage will come about and I will be shaking of adreniline.

If I don't explode on the second chances are I will not after either. This has been true throughout my life. But ofcourse after so many times the anger will become too strong to chain and I will not be able to stop it from going on a frenzy.

Just a moment ago there was this dog found on TV that was badly abused by some children and all I wanted was to see them hang, even if I should do so myself, gladly. He was such a sweet loving dog too, thank god he made a full recovery... I can care less about people(once they have crossed the line of abusing animals) I just wanted to adopt the dog and give him the best life a dog could dream of <3

[Nintaku]

My anger manifests its self as annoyance, the lowest level of me being angry, then moves to frustration when I can't resolve the annoyance, which turns into me either taking a break if it is something I'm working on or removing the source of my frustration by force if verbal efforts fail.

A small amount of anger remains after the event is resolved, and burns off at a slow rate that stays at the back of my mind. If too much latent anger is present I'll start to fracture, but I'll resisting the breakdown. This either ends with I can stop the increase of latent anger, or something makes me angry and pushed me over. Just imagine a cup that fills up from the bottom, but the fluid filling it is some sort of soup. When I get angry a set amount of soup fills the cup, and when I calm down the soup boils away leaving a thicker gel at the bottom that will take more time to burn off. If too much gel is there, and the soup fills the cup it can overflow, which equates to a breakdown.

When I breakdown I go full aggressive, and the "cup" pretty much explodes. I attack everyone who is the source of annoyance, frustration, or anger. Shadow possession also comes into effect, and I stop caring about who I hurt. My Te kicks into full gear, but takes an advisory role to my Fi which is screaming to rip everything to shreds.
My Fi is screaming to stab the person who triggered the breakdown, but my Te reminds me of the legal ramification thereof. Fight or Flight comes into play, and if Fight is chosen as the appropriate response I'll do anything from tearing our someone carotid arteries with my teeth, to pinching his balls until they pop, to brutalizing the person who is forcing me to fight him.
I most often just run away, busy myself with some task that is working towards distancing myself from the source of my anger, and trying to avoid people. If someone is able to push hard enough to get through in a supportive caring sort of way then the fire can turn to ice, and I just start crying and holding onto the person in question. However, if the source of my anger returns during this time then the ice will turn back into fire.

Either way I have only had one real breakdown, and that was at a convention that I was insanely stressed about from the start. I shouldn't have gone, I knew before going that I shouldn't have gone, and going just added to the stresses of the fiscal issues that were the primary source of my anger. I don't always make good decisions, but damn it I'll make a decision and own what comes.

[Issmene]

I rarely show/feel my anger outwards and if I do, it's usually not as direct (songlyrics, poems, messaging via internet, yes, passive-agressive sometimes, but I don't do that a lot anymore), still using my Te for that though. If I really throw a direct fit (using my Te hardcore, lol), then I am really really pissed off. Also what Rim says, I don't see myself as an angry person, but sadly enough I do carry it with me more than I'd like to (being angry at the world and such), although it usually manifests itself as being sad. Which is what I am at that moment as well. Sad that things are a certain way. It's difficult to feel angry for me, it rarely comes out. Annoyance is a different story though..

It's annoying when people step over my boundaries (Fi), because they think they can, because I seem a certain way. And then they are surprised when I let them know they have gone too far (Te). They don't expect it.

[kaleidoscope]

I'm very in touch with my anger. Like @Rim said, it definitely has a lot to do with E-type. As an 8 fixed 4 (double reactive), I can be explosive about certain things. Once I'm triggered, I have an extremely hard time holding back, I need to express how I feel and I need to create some sort of reaction in the other person. In fact, when I have to repress my feelings, it makes me even more angry. Also, nothing upsets me more than having someone who is calm as hell when I'm shaking with fury, lol.

I can't say I have much problems with anger though.. The way I handle it is by isolating so I don't take it out on the people involved. Give me half an hour and I probably will be much calmer (unless you trigger me again).

[KindOfBlue06]

Yeah I've allways had a temper. Even as I kid. I didn't throw tantrums or anything, but I got angry about certain things. In my teen years, I punched a hole through my door once. Usually when I am angry, I swear, throw shit, punch walls, slam doors ect. Lately it hasn't been so bad though. But certain things still piss me off, and then I have to hit something. There are plenty of scars on my knuckles from punching brick walls, doors, steel ect.

I would much rather do that tough, than have it come out in some passive agressive way. My mother is like that and I hate it, so I try not to be that way.

[Lad]

I'm an anti-stress kind of person and I believe you do significant harm to yourself by letting your anger get the best of you. In some ways it almost has a "walk all over me" sort of sign on me as if someone were to step on my foot in a crowded place not only would I apologize for my foot being in the way, but I'd check if they were okay from losing their balance a bit.

Philosophical crap aside, I'm still highly sensitive to my mom / brother / step-dad and always will be based on past abuse. I have an immense temper that I'll usually hold inside, but I can't have them talk to me for too long (even in a friendly way) as the worst part of me is just being tickled to come out.

[Kito]

Yeah, as @Rim said it has a lot to do with Enneagram types. Nines deny their anger, Fours see it as a part of themselves, Ones repress it, and so on.

I have the same relationship with anger as @KindOfBlue06, I let it out very physically. I think all id types share a tendency to lash out when angry (though it's not limited to those types of course).

[Nintaku]

Yeah, as @Rim said it has a lot to do with Enneagram types. Nines deny their anger, Fours see it as a part of themselves, Ones repress it, and so on.

I have the same relationship with anger as @KindOfBlue06, I let it out very physically. I think all id types share a tendency to lash out when angry (though it's not limited to those types of course).

I think it is animal nature to lash out when angry. Anger, at its core, is a defense, err my mind fails me, thingy--Yes, defense thingy--and when things start to go badly we get angry, and attack whatever the subject of our ire is.

In nature this more often boils down to another member of the same sex of your species trespassing on your turf, a predator cornering you, or any number of other things.