[ThatOne]

In two ways-



The first way is the "Following the Leader" experience. Whether on a group project or just deciding where to go in town, do you prefer to take the lead or let others make the decisions for you? Do you get annoyed when people always makes the decisions, or do you just flow with it? Do you make any of the decisions?

The second way is "Being Told What To Do." Do you hate rules? Do you hate being told what to do, and how to do it in a certain way? Being lectured? Being told how to live your life? Having other people lord their authority over you? Do you despise having to obey by unspoken or spoken rules and living up to society's expectations?


Personally, I am not a person who minds being a follower. Certainly I don't like the idea of anyone having power over me (in my group of friends, I am too used to this power being used and abused), but when it comes to decisions I'm quite happy to just roll with it. Unless I really want to go somewhere or do something, decisions aren't a big deal to me. If I want to make a decision I will, but most of the time I'm the person just cruising along, typically unconcerned. If I don't want to do something, I won't, and if I do want to do something, I have no problem speaking up among friends. I'll go where they want to go, but expect the same courtesy to be extended if I see a place I want to visit. I'm not that worried if other people choose whether we should take a right or left down the road.

However, I really do hate people telling me what to do. I get annoyed when someone says to me that I should write goals in life, or do something this way because they've found it's easier. It's like people don't understand their way doesn't work for everyone else (and in all fairness, there are people who probably don't realise this), and that I don't always want to bend to suit their opinions or thoughts, or to fit their perceptions of what should be. I would rather ALL people were just allowed to live their life in their own way how THEY want to.

[Eclipsed]

I would rather lead than follow. I hate following and I absolutely despise being told what to do. I'm extremely stubborn.
I am the one who can't be moved unless I get something out of it, or I will lose something that I want by not moving...

[Wellsy]

If i agree then im fine with following. If not i'll make my point heard. I think a lot of people would be like this, we're fine with someone else being in control as long as we agree with what they're doing. But once they step out of line with our thought of what should've been done, we might kick up a bit of a stink.

[Nintaku]

It all depends.
I hate being bossed around, or treated like a slave with no opinions. I'll let someone have control, but that is just it, I am allowing it for now. The moment the person steps out of line I'll revoke the control I've given, and either put him in his place or go my own way.
I have no problem being a loner if my core values don't match the people I'd have to work with instead.

[MessofaDreamer]

I've tried to figure out what my deal is when being told what to do. It really differs, I guess. For example, I like to please people. I like it when others are happy because of me and I like it when others like me. But that's more ME deciding what I get to do, even though the reactions of other people are still involved. But I get really intimidated when an SJ type or something (aka my mom) tells me that I have to do something a certain way...and I just don't want to. I need to do it my own way.

I just had this issue with her today. She forced me to go play tennis with her. Did I WANT to? No. But she made me. The reason I despise playing tennis with her is because she tells me how to hold the racket, how to swing and such, which annoys the heck out me. I'm not going to be a tennis champion, so just let me serve the dang ball my own way. And then when I let myself give in and hit the ball her way, then she's like "great job, honey!!!" like I'm in a tennis class or something, when really she was the one who forced me to play tennis with her for fun.

But when it comes to leading/following in group projects and stuff, I am definitely the leader. Since INFPs are indeed perfectionists, I'm going to make sure it's done my way. Because I overthink things I'm quite OCD, which causes me to go crazy if we all bring back paragraphs written in different fonts to glue on the poster board. It needs to meet my high standards, which is why in school I usually end up begging my group members to PLEASE let me do the entire project by myself. The description of the INFP on personalitypage is so spot on. It says something like "The INFP will go for weeks without noticing a crumb on the carpet, but they will carefully brush a speck of dust off their project booklet. Because they have such high standards when it comes to group projects, the other group members probably will not meet their standards. This causes them to have a "control" problem in group situations."

[Embers]

I'll echo the sentiment of following someone else lead until they do something I'm against.

For the second one though... I hate it. I understand they're trying to help and share their experiences with me, but I don't really care.

[TaleofMisunderstood]

Most of the time, I loathe it. My mom always gives suggestions, and I follow them to the letter. This isn't because of respect for her, rather it's because her suggestions are actually useful. Sometimes, I just want to enjoy the moment, though, and not prepare for the future all the time. This is why I love being alone. :)

[soya]

in general, NO. i won't accept an order without good reasoning behind it. even then, i am a bit...averse to it.

in a crisis, if i don't have a better plan, okay - i'll listen to a reasonable person telling me what to do.

[WoodsofDesolation]

If I feel like other people can take control of a hectic situation or command attention in a group setting, then I have no problem letting them lead the way. I'm a pretty indecisive person sometimes, and when it comes to groups I take a more passive and supporting role rather than a leading role.

Or if it's as simple as deciding a movie to watch or where to go for fun or things of that nature I really couldn't care less who decides. Usually, I'd let people decide since I only really care about spending time with them.

But when it comes to my ambitions, and someone thinks they know what I'm trying to do better than I do, I will not really listen to what they're trying to tell me to do unless it's constructive (and a lot of times it's more competitive-based than actually constructive). I hate it when people think their way is the only right way when in reality it's not about "advising" me at all -- it's about their need to appear more stable than I am which basically translates into insecurity.

[Aelthwyn]

I'm not much of a follower, but I will go along with things if I care about the people and want them to be happy, and if I generally agree with them or there isn't something I'd rather be doing. I'm most likely to just go off on my own. I like to do things at my own pace in my own way anyways, so a lot of times I end up doing things by myself even if I'm doing the same thing the people I started out with are doing. My willingness to follow seems to depend on my objective. Most of the time I have something I'd like to be doing, so I will just do that and resist pressure to join in with others. But if the point or object of my time right now is to invest in a harmonious relationship with someone, then I will be very laid back as far as what they want to do together. Most of the time when my wishes are at odds with someone else's I will seek a way to do both, so I'll get to do what I want and I'll do what they want.

I really hate being told what to do. I feel like it's disrespectful of others to issue commands and like to be given the chance to choose to do something you want me to for you, rather than being told I have to with the implication that I'll suffer disharmony with you (whatever that may entail) if I don't. I find I really like figuring out how to do something myself, so when someone tells me how they expect me to do something it takes all the fun and interest out of it.