[INFP] Intellectual, emotional, physical, & spiritual connection: Most important?

Intellectual, emotional, physical, & spiritual connection: Most important?

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This is a discussion on Intellectual, emotional, physical, & spiritual connection: Most important? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; ...

  1. #1
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Intellectual, emotional, physical, & spiritual connection: Most important?

    In a romantic relationship, how important is each type of connection to you? To what degree? Is it possible to experience some and not others? Would be happy as result? What's the first kind of connection that initially draws you to a person (a romantic interest).

    The 4 connections are described below: (took from a website Shift Your Life with Tracy Latz, M.D. & Marion Ross, Ph.D.)

    1. Physical Connection- a physical attraction between 2 people. This occurs when one person is attracted to thephysical attributes or body of another person. Common thought associated with this type of love connection: “Wow, I think he/she is so hot!
    2. Intellectual Connection- a mutual interest in the same thoughts, philosophies, topics of discussion, books, news items, or hobbies. Common thought associated with this type of love connection: “We can talk about things or debate topics for hours- time just flies by!”
    3. Emotional Connection- this supramental connection occurs when two people can communicate deeply at times without words or without full verbal explanation and not just based on superficial body language. Common thought associated with this type of love connection: “Boy, they just ‘get’ me! We could finish each others’ sentences or know what each other mean without saying a word while other people are clueless.”
    4. Spiritual Connection- occurs when two people have similar spiritual knowings (as opposed to beliefs) and are on the same spiritual path or share a common spiritual purpose; they see a relationship as a respect for and encouragement of each others’ spiritual growth. Common thought associated with this type of love connection: “I feel a sense of bigger purpose in our relationship- I think Spirit/God/Source/Universe conspired to have us meet!” A true spiritual connection can last the span of lifetimes.
    refugee, Lad, Raichan and 7 others thanked this post.

  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    Thanks for posting this! I think all of them are important. I havent been with anyone but I have been in love. And I know what my heart desires. I would love to talk about intellectual things with my companion..I can talk about philosophical things for hours on end!

    When I fell in love with someone a few years ago, I began to see how truly physically attractive they were and unique they looked.

    But I think the most I crave is emotional connection. I want us to know eachother and "finish eachother's sentences". When I look into their eyes, I want to see their soul.

    Spiritual connection is very important too. I want my companion and I to encourage eachothers spiritual growth. :) But if that person has a different way of worshiping God than thats totally fine. (like if they like singing over contemplation.)

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    From most to least important: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, and then physical.

    Emotional is first because I yearn to be understood. when I am, I feel incredibly loved. I will not refrain from showing that love to you. This is the most important thing because it helps with communication in relationships as well. Knowing each other can help you avoid touchy topics or anything that might offend your partner. Being understood is the most important thing to me, as well as being able to understand others.

    Intellectual is second because once again, communication is important in a relationship. This essentially means that we have similar interests, whether they are hobbies or careers. That is rather important because without it there would be no interest, besides maybe spiritual but I'll explain that in a second. Without mutual interest, the relationship is less likely to thrive. Also, I couldn't stand someone talking about football(American) for any amount of time.

    Spiritual is third because we don't need to have a common spiritual interest. We can help fulfill each others in our own ways. I trust that most people that I will be in a relationship with will have a spiritual interest that I can help, and they will be able to help me with mine. It's not necessary for me to have a similar drive, as long as it isn't a destructive drive. Though, only up to a point. I don't want a person that goes day to day without wondering their place in the universe, and just worries about everyday things that don't matter in the long run. Oh, and religion doesn't matter to me, up to a point. As long as you want your life to mean something, we've already got a connection.

    Physical is last because I'm actually not all that interested in sex. It's not important to me if there is a physical attraction toward the other person, because there probably won't be. That's really all there is to it.
    ThirdArcade and IcarusDreams thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    A physical connection is the only one that matters.

  5. #5

    Spiritual, Emotional, Intellectual, Physical.
    Consequently, I also think that's in order of the hardest connection to find -> all the way to the easiest.

    Here's my breakdown in reverse order~
    Physically, I whole heartedly believe that everyone in attractive in their own right, but it's the connections beyond that which change a word like 'attractive' to... stunning, radiant, gorgeous, beautiful, to me. I know for some people it's the reverse, they're enamoured from the beginning, but inevitably become 'used' to the appearance of their partner and that physical connection declines.

    Intellectually, for the most part is reasonably easy to find, when given the opportunity. Nowadays, quite a few people are open minded so while they may not have direct knowledge of whatever is being shared, they'll still be deeply interested. Personally, I like some sort of variance with the people I'm interested in, or in other words, similar enough to connect and different enough to teach/encourage each other.

    Emotional connections are more-often born through familiarity, but I also believe there are types of people out there that seemingly have this instant chemistry with many others (NFs). While having some sort of semblance of this connection is enough for most to get married, I personally "NEED" more than this to go forward, especially when I just described that I believe some people are innately gifted at connecting with others on an emotional level.

    Spiritually, resonates with me the most, especially as it's in-tune with my Soulmate belief, but it's also the hardest to describe. It's a form of faith where seemingly nothing will stand in your way, where everything is possible, and felt so intensely that it has this feeling of awakening you. Before this, you'll wonder if you were ever really alive at all.
    Calvaire, refugee, Raichan and 3 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    Unknown Personality

    For me, spiritual connection and emotional connection come first. Physical connection is just a bonus, intellectual connection is useful for healthy future building.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    For me, without a spiritual connection nothing else will happen.
    refugee, Raichan and ThirdArcade thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    (can someone delete THIS post, i was trying to quote someone else..)

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by yello View Post
    A physical connection is the only one that matters.
    really? can you elaborate on that?

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    It's hard to separate between these, because relationships are the sum of these parts, and even others besides these. Emotional comes first to me (this is why I tend to be attracted to NFs subconsciously), then intellectual, because we should theoretically at least share some values, then a toss up between the others. Note that for me the physical has NO meaning IF the emotional connection isn't there-one of the main reasons I didn't message many people when I was dating online (I would only message those to which I felt an affinity for, which were few-if a person was "beautiful" but I felt distant from her emotionally, I just deemed it a "bad match.") That said, sometimes the intellectual may intertwine with the emotional/spiritual, so depending on the individual, my "priorities" may change, save for the physical-I MUST have a deeper connection beyond physical attraction (so much for the stupid myth that all men want is sex.)
    Calvaire, refugee, ThirdArcade and 4 others thanked this post.

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