[Hotspur]

Thanks for your reply! It was very insightful and I guess the best thing would be to start paddling in any direction. However, I feel like I don't even have an oar at the moment because I cannot find a job. Thanks for the advice. It really helped a lot :)

It doesn't take much money to go for a walk around town and ask if people are hiring. I would get horribly shy doing that, but I always felt empowered by the end of the day. Not everyone would be hiring, but I would still come home with a few applications from those who were, and I was now the one deciding who was good enough for me to apply. If nothing came of it, I still went for a good walk or drive.

Don't worry, I'm sure you will find an oar in life, and I don't think it necessarily requires a job.

[telepariah]

@Lyssah, that is an amazing and wise post. And I wish I had been able to read it when I was 35. I went the other direction, taking jobs doing something I was good at but that didn't satisfy my one thing and over 20 years I really came to regret that decision and it affected my health in every way.

So what I would say to @laurie17 is if you find something you are completely passionate about, do that. Do not stray from the path your heart is showing you. If you can commit to anything, commit to that. I always knew that skiing had to be my life. There is nothing else that stirs my soul the way skiing does, to the point where anything that is not somehow connected to skiing is guaranteed to make me miserable if I do it too much. Now having this passion in my life is amazing. I do consider myself very fortunate to have found this out at a very early age. Maybe you have found yours too. But don't fret. Even if you haven't, it's never too late. That is what I believe, and at age 55 I am starting back on the path that I left 20 years ago.

Be true to yourself.

[StaceofBass]

I have one more situation that I think is a bit more serious than my friend.

There's a girl in my class that I absolutely can't stand and I don't know how anybody in my class can tolerate her. I don't know how the teacher puts up with her. The teacher stresses being a professional and this girl...she's such a catty, gossip-loving fool who thinks she knows it all. Cattiness and gossip tells me that this person is so far from being a professional...at least in attitude. The girl in question frequently will yell and point out how I've made a mistake loud enough for the entire class to hear. This is problematic because when we work on something like injections, the class feels I'm incompetent and will possibly send them to the hospital if I inject them. Mistakes are bound to happen because I'm still learning, but she spreads fear and gossip around the entire class so the entire class now thinks I'm just unable to when things like this take time. Luckily she leaves in 3 weeks but it's going to be a long 3 weeks. How should I deal with it until she leaves? Should I confront her about it directly or will that cause more problems? Would it better to talk to the teacher about it?

I really don't know why she wants to alert the entire class to my mistakes. My only theory is that she's jealous of something...but she's making me out to be a black sheep in the class and I don't like it one bit.

[Hotspur]

I have one more situation that I think is a bit more serious than my friend.

There's a girl in my class that I absolutely can't stand and I don't know how anybody in my class can tolerate her. I don't know how the teacher puts up with her. The teacher stresses being a professional and this girl...she's such a catty, gossip-loving fool who thinks she knows it all. Cattiness and gossip tells me that this person is so far from being a professional...at least in attitude. The girl in question frequently will yell and point out how I've made a mistake loud enough for the entire class to hear. This is problematic because when we work on something like injections, the class feels I'm incompetent and will possibly send them to the hospital if I inject them. Mistakes are bound to happen because I'm still learning, but she spreads fear and gossip around the entire class so the entire class now thinks I'm just unable to when things like this take time. Luckily she leaves in 3 weeks but it's going to be a long 3 weeks. How should I deal with it until she leaves? Should I confront her about it directly or will that cause more problems? Would it better to talk to the teacher about it?

I really don't know why she wants to alert the entire class to my mistakes. My only theory is that she's jealous of something...but she's making me out to be a black sheep in the class and I don't like it one bit.

Wow, that's a tough one. Do you get along well with the teacher? If you do, it might be a good idea to let them know that you are made very self-conscious by this girl, and you might be a passive member of class until she leaves if she says anything else without reprimand. If you don't feel comfortable enough with the teacher, you might stand up for yourself directly. That can be a tough one, too. You need to decide if being blunt and standing up for your pride is better than being diplomatic and trying to reason with her. I don't recommend citing the rules and trying to remind her that the teacher said to act professional. She knows that and doesn't care. It's tough to say more without being a witness to it. I wish you good luck over the next few weeks.

[laurie17]

Hey @laurie17!
It was a tough decision for me. Some people are lucky enough to immediately know when they are 5 what they want to do with their lives. I had such a wide range of interests, that I could never decide! When I was very young, 10 and under, I wanted to be an astronaut because I was fascinated with everything that had to do with space and astronomy. After that, I got more into art and wanted to be a hair stylist. After that, I wanted to be a concert pianist. After that, I wanted to be a criminal profiler in the FBI. To that end, I started out my college career as a sociology major. However, the beginning classes for sociology I found to be very boring and I couldn't make myself stick to it. Eventually, I ended up in my current job after 10 years of college. I found out through all my meandering, that I really love to learn above all else. I would happily stay in college for the rest of my life, learning all that there is to know, enjoying the flexible schedule, and making people coffee. But...I love my current job (engineer). Not for the subject matter really, I can think of other things more interesting, but for the fact that it allows me to learn and do something new and exciting with my brain almost every day. That for me, was one of the most important criteria in finding a job and being able to stick to it.

I think the key for INFP's is to figure out what that one thing is that you know you need to have in order to stay interested in your work and happy every morning (after coffee) when you are headed to do your job. For some people it may be a completely flexible schedule. For some it may be helping other people. For some it may be using their artistic talents. Like I said, for me it was being able to learn something new and exciting every day. If INFP's do not believe in what they are doing, it may be impossible to stay engaged. Not that anybody asked, but I also believe that is one of the keys to happiness in INFP relationships.

Thank you for the amazing post! It was really good of you to give examples :)

At the moment, I know I love creative writing, but I'm realistic and know it's almost impossible to make it as a full-time author, so I'm trying to work out a career which includes writing. So far, I've got editor, creative writing lecturer, translator (as I'll know Japanese at the end of university), or proof-reading or something.

Although, I've done the same as you did for a long time and switched between a few select things (librarian, teacher, archivist etc.), I think I like writing and everything to do with it much more (I can talk for hours about writing without getting bored - but I bore my friends, lol!).

Thank you very much for the advice! :)

@Lyssah, that is an amazing and wise post. And I wish I had been able to read it when I was 35. I went the other direction, taking jobs doing something I was good at but that didn't satisfy my one thing and over 20 years I really came to regret that decision and it affected my health in every way.

So what I would say to @laurie17 is if you find something you are completely passionate about, do that. Do not stray from the path your heart is showing you. If you can commit to anything, commit to that. I always knew that skiing had to be my life. There is nothing else that stirs my soul the way skiing does, to the point where anything that is not somehow connected to skiing is guaranteed to make me miserable if I do it too much. Now having this passion in my life is amazing. I do consider myself very fortunate to have found this out at a very early age. Maybe you have found yours too. But don't fret. Even if you haven't, it's never too late. That is what I believe, and at age 55 I am starting back on the path that I left 20 years ago.

Be true to yourself.

Thank you for sharing your story - it's a real eye-opener. I'm glad you're going in the direction you want now, and I hope it goes well! I'll definitely try to stick at getting a job doing something I love.

[Feana]

[Hotspur]

Haha! Work on things you enjoy, so they don't feel like work. Remind yourself that you don't need extravagance as much as you need adventure. Also, live cheap. :)

[Kaspa]

How does one contact with ESFJ, conflict-free?

[Feana]

Haha! Work on things you enjoy, so they don't feel like work. Remind yourself that you don't need extravagance as much as you need adventure. Also, live cheap. :)

haha, the 'live cheap' thing seems to be pretty sophisticated, but thanks anyway.:D

[Hotspur]

haha, the 'live cheap' thing seems to be pretty sophisticated, but thanks anyway.:D

I work really hard when I work. I'm a handyman and a bit of a creative person. Even when I have to work a "normal" job to make ends meet, I work hard. However, I will not work when it's not time to work. I live as intensely and busy as I can because I want to make the most of the time when I'm not working. I have survived on very little and had a great time, but I stress a lot if I am not sure how I will pay my bills. I just need enough to survive, and I can save on a lot of areas that are not important to me. For instance, I am not a big movie buff, so I don't often waste me money going to a theater with friends. I wait until after the movie and meet them for food while I go play a sport or do something else I enjoy. I guess that's what I mean by live cheap. It's more of a comment on not living wastefully. Spend time and money on the things that are most important to you. I have friends who make twice what I make, but travel half as much because they waste a lot. They whine about not being able to get out of town because they don't have enough money, but they simply don't prioritize.

It doesn't take a lot to live an enjoyable life, but if you end up with a lot, it doesn't hurt.