To start: This is from my limited experience with INFPs, it can or cannot apply to you. Before i start i lke to point out that my best friend is an INFP, and i love ur characters. Anything im about to say should not be taken condescendingly, its just my limited view of how you guys can be more happy.
Also i read somewhere that our cognitive processes are the same but with jumbled up order. so what is important to me might not be a big deal for you.
1. Inability to handle criticism without biting at your neck. They move into the defensive phase real quick. And when they do it is mostly personal. The *lashing out* is not on top of my favorite lists. and its hard to see someone who rarely expresses their feelings come up with so much all at once. And i think that their biting hurts because they are awesome secret holders, so they mostly know everything about u and where to hit where it hurts. > I think this is mostly due to 1. low self esteem 2. doubt of their image in that specific person's eyes. > what the INFP should know is that some types are frivolous, like myself, who love to joke and humor around. shouldnt be take personally.
2. They dont share their pain. It ends up building up. simmering in. making them feel sorry for themselves. ultimately resulting in a bitter cynical INFP who is hard to please. And if someone is sorry for themselves its hard for them to contribute to the growth of anyone else. In their attempts to rescue humanity from their demise, they forget about themselves, which turns them into a self centered helpess individual if they are hurt much too often. > advice: if you share ur pain it divides, if u share it with urself it doubles.
3. Freeze up when a close friend gives them complements. Adores it from a stranger.
4. Seem to only hurt people who are close to them, and are sweet with people who arent. is it an expectation thing?
5. When in social gathering, they dont talk. If i introduce my INFP friend to new people 80% of the time they think she is snobbish. If i dont introduce her to new people she hates me for not sharing my life with her and thinks im acting all elitist.
6. IF i interrupt, hum, look at the sky for a second... it doesnt mean im not listening.
7. Cant let go of people who hurt them. They leave them in their lives, taking the hurt. Then the close friends have to suffer the mood swings *rolls eyes*
8. Deny the truth sometimes if it doesnt suit their idealistic view. In this attempt they run away from confrontations of other people even if minor. A normal give or take conversation could tense an INFP up even if its not directed at them. Their inability to stand conflicts, their shunning away from it, makes them helpless as peacemakers. In their heart they want to help, in real life they watch as u fight and look the other way. Im not sure how this is a bad trait, or because it hurt me personally when i was fighting with one of my best friends and the other one (INFP) was in the middle of it, she dropped everything said she has nothing to do with this and she wanted us to fix it on our own, and never mention it to her. Now she tries to shuffle between me and this other friend (we're not friends anymore) in an attempt not to hurt anyone. Although she knew why i was pissed, knew why the other friend was pissed, and all we needed was a peacemaker at the time. But i guess its hard for an INFP to *give* emotionally in conflicts.
9. Also this unrealistic idea of the world, makes them not great sources for telling anything like it is. They might even blame someone for not seeing the truth when its them that needs to wake up. They're too hooked into their own ideas, its hard for them to bulge. if it be a an idealistic vision or the fact that someone is out to get them. Sometimes their hunches are way off, and they dont seem to notice or change it ever. Their Ne is secondary to their Fi. I think maybe thats it.
That being said, i think INFPs are awesome loyal loving friends. The ones i know some bless me with their poetry and art which makes my world so much prettier. They are the most sensitive type to other people's feelings, and would almost never hurt anyone. (ALMOST) but the fact that they know this, that they wouldnt hurt anyone makes it seem ok for them to lash out on people. (hint hint Hurting them). if they would let the world in, to help them, they might be less sensitive and more open minded to critique from time to time. Nobody is out to get u, nobody wants to make use of ur niavety (maybe ENTPs do, but they also do it to everyone else) and when a friend expresses they want to talk to u more its supposed to be something good and not them transcending on ur personal space.
BUT other than that, INFPs are awesome. I'd take them anyday, love them genuinly :)