[cubilone]

Yes, we're not the only ones on the receiving end of rejection. Like everyone, and as we should (oh I WISH I COULD love everyone!) we can and DO deal out our fair share of rejection and I feel as if I have to do a lot of it lately.

Problem is, I can't really do it. Even when I try to stop talking to someone because they sap my energy/are too oppressive/they're just too boring/they plainly repulse me/all of these combined, I always sort of feel sorry for them in the end, I can't JUST remove them from my life.



This might have some connection with: 1) this urge to "prove with actions" that we love someone by doing anything he or she askes or wishes. Because if we don't do what they want, we don't really love them. 2) being flattered by someone liking us or wanting to be around us, even if it's for unhealthy reasons we wouldn't logically agree with, and subconsciously feeding off of this relationship to sustain our very peculiar ego.

For example: there is this girl that seems to be fascinated by me. When she meets me, she just follows me around and won't leave unless she decides on her own its time to go home. She sends me messages and calls me and wants to meet up. Sometimes I do meet up with her but I never have much fun. She's deadly boring, asks me retarded questions all the time just to appear as if she's following a conversation... She's a very shy and awkward ESTJ (yes I asked her to do the test out of curiosity) and really, I can't handle her. Now she's asking me to meet up again. I don't know how I can avoid her without feeling bad myself.

[kaleidoscope]

Ah, I have the same problem sometimes :\ I usually just try hard to communicate to the person indirectly that I really don't like them, either by making excuses or doing my best to avoid them. Not the best strategy, I know..

I think you should just be honest with that girl. Some people can be painfully oblivious to cues you give them, and they just need to be told. Unfortunately, I have no idea what you should say

[midnightstar]

I can't reject others, I have to be rejected by them ...

[cubilone]

Ah, I have the same problem sometimes :\ I usually just try hard to communicate to the person indirectly that I really don't like them, either by making excuses or doing my best to avoid them. Not the best strategy, I know..

I think you should just be honest with that girl. Some people can be painfully oblivious to cues you give them, and they just need to be told. Unfortunately, I have no idea what you should say

Telling her would be ideal but I would just feel sorry for her later! I'm too empathic. I mean, it's not her fault she's so... repulsive, has the looks of a blonde walrus and the personality of an Imperial probe droid.

[Zebedee]

I make sure my decision is a sound one, give them a final, thorough, explanation, and then cut them off from my life cold-turkey.

[UtterMess]

Telling her would be ideal but I would just feel sorry for her later! I'm too empathic. I mean, it's not her fault she's so... repulsive, has the looks of a blonde walrus and the personality of an Imperial probe droid.

ouch bro that hurts......how can you feel sorry about her and then call her these things? sigh....just tell her outright....if shes as blond as you say she is ...have a friend of hers explain it to her......either way if you are free to call her these things I feel her attention is better spend elsewhere...

[GreenLadyBug]

This has happened to me a few times. I've had to reject people who were unhealthy for me to be around or people who I just didn't like. It's difficult at first but eventually you will both get over it. I don't know the circumstances of how you know her but generally what I do is avoid the person as much as I can, increasing avoidance over time. Don't answer her phone calls, messages, etc. When she asks you to hang out tell her you are busy or just not feeling up to it. That's really the only other alternative I see to just telling her the truth. :/ Or just acting as disgusting as you can when around her to put her off. :P Good luck however you attempt it!

[violetscarletblue]

It depends whether I care about a person or not. I get personality flips which helps me in rejecting people. If I feel the need to reject someone I don't care about, I'll just unconsciously adjust my personality to be honest and tell them what i feel about them. Half of the people think im nice, other half think im cruel. If i need to reject someone i do care about, i will still face them one on one and be honest but in a more gentle way.
It's weird how i can go from empathetic to heartless when i want to. O.O

[HappyThoughts]

I kind of avoid them until it is obvious. Unless its something urgently important, then I will try to say it as nice as I can.

[ImminentThunder]

I've never rejected anyone. Rejection is painful for me and I don't see why I would want to cause that sort of pain in another person...