[refugee]

When I was younger and more idealistic, I rarely considered any other side to an argument except my own. But I'm finding that as I get older, I see more sides and can even empathize with my opponents.



I'm wondering if this is a healthy thing, or is it some kind of capitulation or weakness in my value system?

[Wakachi]

I think this is normal, that after seeing enough of the world your hold on your own perspectives are weathered down. If anything, being too staunch on your beliefs might make you brittle.

As a child, I've been critisized for lacking empathy or understanding of this "theory of mind" but as I grew older, I became "normal". Not sociopathic, not aspergers, none of those.

[UtterMess]

no it is not a weakness in your value system...I too only saw my own logic when I was a kid....but more recently I'm beginning to understand the value of knowing both sides..it makes it easier ultimately when making a decision.....

[Wellsy]

I do wonder whether being so open means that im weak on my own views but it does seem worse to think you're entirely right all the time in the face of new things you find. You're not going to know everything that ever happened too soon or even towards end of your life and you need to be readily accepting the things you don't understand and critiquing them.
How many people in the world actually travel around the world and even get into the nitty gritty of things. We don't experience everyones experience and it's great to grant merit to other people's perspectives from experience.

It's so friggin' easy to say this is how it is, here's my logic but you can make a lot of things sound logical where they are just messed up. How else can a person believe things that are wrong unless they have their own reasonable logic, you think a person who is intolerant of race or religion is open to hearing views that differ from their original.
I thought i was pretty nice about religion even though i'm not really set on it and don't attack it but I came to realise after some discussions just how badly my view was of religion even though I tried to be open minded as I can.

My mode of learning is to gather people's perspectives and I hold up the one I feel is most true to myself and wait until someone knocks it down. It's like upgrading opinion on something, challenging strong views to other strong views and not aiding my already held belief but trying to really understand another's opinion. How often do you find that both sides have great opinions on one subject and hard to decide. As long as people are respectful and aren't about forcing their views and jsut present their view I think it's great. Intellectual debate is great as long as you aren't out to 'convert' the other side, your goal is to just clearly state your view and let people decide on their own I think.

Of course when you hold a view you will try and discredit the opposing view, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't listen. At the moment i'm trying to improve my understanding and tolerance of religion even though at this point in my life i'm closer to being an atheist than agnostic.

[WoodsofDesolation]

I think it depends on the nature of the argument.

It is good to be aware of multiple point of views of an issue or argument. It takes a bit of stepping back to be more understanding of others' opinions, which are just as valid as yours. I think it means you're opening your mind more rather than you're becoming weak.

But when it comes to arguments where someone's viewpoint is clearly wrong (as in it fuels hurting other people) yet someone empathizes with that viewpoint even though they don't agree with it, I'd think that person's will was being a bit overcome by the other's aggressiveness. Which I won't consider weak in the traditional sense, but maybe influenced in some way that makes them want to avoid confrontation (like having an established friendship, relating to them in any aspect, or maybe because of confidence/lack of confidence in their stance).

Though when someone's argument is offensive in nature, I personally can't ever empathize with them though I'd reflect on the argument a bit afterward.

[FaveteLinguis]

I'd be more concerned if your values didn't change over time as you've grown both intellectually and physically. Understanding your opponent's argument, both from where a personal perspective and objective facts, can help you encompass the bigger picture.

In the end empathizing with the "enemy" is not a bad thing, I do the same. It might not be ideal but the world hardly ever is. Just remember you still don't have to agree with them in most circumstances since most ideas, facts, and ideologies are open to a very wide set of interpretations.

[adverseaffects]

Definitely healthy.
Nothing wrong with accepting the world or others--
in my opinion all intelligence or real living has to do with understanding of the world outside yourself & accepting ambiguities..
this has to do with understanding, seeing, and accepting the parts of the world that contradict ourselves. They are no less valid. To think any other way is to be selfish.

[adagio]

As I get older, I find the world becomes ever more incomprehensible. I'm usually met with blank stares when I ask -

• It costs a lot. Are you sure you'll ever use it?
• Please turn off the shower to save water when you're soaping or applying shampoo
• Let's walk to the mall to save gas, it's only 5 minutes away
• Let's save the leftovers for dinner
• Have you considered adopting instead of the IV clinic?
• Instead of going on holiday, why don't you sponsor a child for a couple years instead?

How do I try to see their POV? Should I?

[Mr. Meepers]

When I was younger and more idealistic, I rarely considered any other side to an argument except my own. But I'm finding that as I get older, I see more sides and can even empathize with my opponents.

I'm wondering if this is a healthy thing, or is it some kind of capitulation or weakness in my value system?

Our arguments are usually good enough for us to accept ... I mean they are the reasons why we believe what we believe. But it may not be enough to others, not may our arguments even be valid from another perspective. To only consider your own view isolates you from others and stops you from questioning your own view, which is healthy. It is healthy to be a little skeptical of our own views (which, the ones that stand the test of time, become stronger).

For myself, personally, empathizing with others arguments has influenced my idea to try and not hate anyone. I jave, from time to time, questioned whether or not it is moral to not hate anyone under any circumstance. The only "answer" I can come up with (which may help you): Is love and understanding ever a bad thing?? I think not (I think it is always a good thing ^__^ )

[Hapalo]

When I was younger and more idealistic, I rarely considered any other side to an argument except my own. But I'm finding that as I get older, I see more sides and can even empathize with my opponents.

I'm wondering if this is a healthy thing, or is it some kind of capitulation or weakness in my value system?

YOU ARE WEAK, WEAK!
YOU WILL NEVER MATURE IF YOU KEEP HAVING DOUBTS!
Is this the answer you were expecting?


I think recognizing other sides as valid is generally seem as a sign of maturity. It is useful to say the least.