I'll preempt any questions and say that, yes, I'm a little insecure about this (please don't tell the other INTJ's). There's this INFP at my college... I've already posted about her on PerC and gotten some "Awuh's!" from the INFP's here in response, but I want to ask some specific questions.
In my mind, having read up a little on JCF theory, I consider her sort of the embodiment of Fi. Whenever she's around I become very conscious of emotions and morals, like they're the most important things in the whole world. It's like she has a psychic power, and I suppose in a way she does. She inspires me to be a person of virtue and integrity, without ever saying a word. I love her sense of humor. She adds life and beauty to her interactions in very small, powerful ways. Easily one of the best singers I've met. However, she's also shy, not very confident or organized, and struggles with school (especially the subjects I'm good at). There's a big part of me that's afraid for her getting steamrolled by life, and really wants to be around to protect her. I always try to encourage her to not give up.
Obviously, I have strong feelings, but as to what kind of feelings, I'm on the fence. I've been prone to having crushes lately, so I'm not sure I can trust what I feel. I think I could be satisfied with being a "protective big brother" figure, but not until I know for sure she's not romantically interested in me.
There are a few things which I guess are signals that she does like me, but maybe some of you INFP's could lend some insight. She seems to be comfortable around me. She teases me a lot, which is actually pretty special. People don't normally find my responses to teasing to be entertaining, so they leave me alone. Not this one. She manages to elicit bashfulness and self-deprecation in me while making me feel completely safe. We make a lot of eye contact, too, usually in the form of knowing glances/shit-eating grins regarding something funny someone did. Our eyes tell jokes nobody else can get.
I invited her to a jam session (music, not strawberries) among a bunch of friends, and she was one of only four (including me) to show up. It may have been my imagination, but she seemed to be dressed more nicely (and a little provocatively) than usual. We clicked musically, too, which was exciting.
The biggest signal I ever got was in class when the prof was giving a "don't" list. One item stood out to her, and she said out loud, "I don't do that!" Then, to me, across the person sitting between us, "[dingo], do I do that?"
She's the only person who asked me to sign her yearbook this year. After a couple minutes of contemplation, something surprisingly heartfelt spilled out into the tiny space I chose. I believe the phrase, "You've taught me so much," was used (high praise from an INTJ). I don't know how she responded to it, I haven't seen her since.
Am I reading too much into these interactions? How much do you think she's picked up on regarding my feelings? I haven't laid all my cards on the table, but she is INFP. I think they count cards. I want to know where we are so I'll be prepared come September.
There is one weird aspect to our relationship, and I'm curious as to how much it matters. It came out that she went to high school with my cousin (not sure of her type, maybe ESFJ), who eventually visited me at my college. They saw each other there (small campus), and definitely knew who the other was but they didn't speak. Based on some additional info, I came to believe that something pretty negative had occurred between them in high school. It's a hunch, but I trust my hunches. So there's a conflict there for me - would this affect how she sees me?
I can post more, but I hate excessively long posts, and this is bad as it is.