[Flamingo Jones]

From what I have gathered, it seems that most INFJs are terrible liars. Is this the consensus?

I find this odd because I am a fantastic liar. I am not acting as if this is a quality that is brag-worthy, but I find it to be necessary sometimes. I lie if I am protecting myself (not in a selfish way, but such as not letting a friend know that I am in a down mood or have had a really terrible week) or if I am protecting someone else.

My friends and others around me wouldn't assume it in the least. They tell me I am a horrible liar, but, in reality, when they catch me in a lie, 99% of the time I want them to. A couple examples from just this past week are:

1. My friends received some presents at school that were unmarked and they were told not to open them until Christmas. One of my friends (she is really amazing at figuring things out) asked me if I "happened" to leave some gifts for some people. I told her I didn't know what she was talking about but I gave a very subtle smile. She noticed it and "caught" me in my lie. I left the presents unmarked because I really don't care for recognition and gratitude, but I knew if I let her know, it would be more for her being excited about the present and being proud of figuring it out than my selfish want for gratitude.

2. I have been particularly melancholy these past few weeks. Everyone has been calling me out on it-- my friends, my parents, and even my teachers. Usually I can completely mask it, and I'm sure I could even now, but I have just let it consume my demeanor. Every time someone asks if I am okay, I give a really unconvincing "Yeah, I'm fine," which they hastily reject. This is because I am in a particularly bad state, and "acting" as if I am okay is actually just my subconscious way of setting my wall really high and waiting for someone to climb over it. If I didn't want any help, I'd have my little facade and no one would notice. So, more than anything, it is a whispering cry for help (oxymoron?) and then sitting back and waiting to see who hears it.

If I had any desire to be so, I could be incredibly manipulative. I'm a good liar and a good actor, but my conscience wouldn't let me live down any manipulation.



So my question to all of you is this: How good of a liar are you?

[R22]

I'm a terrible liar and an even worse actor, so I don't even bother trying. In general, I tend to be honest to a fault and have a terrible time sitting the with the guilt that I have during times when I am not 100% honest. Some things are meant to be private, though, and luckily I can put up enough of a game face when I need to.

[shaddie]

Me, too. I can't neither lie for fun. My face betray me always. I think that all lies will be confessed and evil generate another evil. So it 's good for me I don't know that.

[Collossus]

I have never tried to be an actor but I lied several times without being exposed. For a moment, I make myself believe that the lie is a truth and it works just great.

[decided]

I can usually stop myself from expressing my emotions, like wearing a mask so others can't see what I'm feeling.
At these times I'm probably overwhelmed by what I'm feeling and don't know what it means or how to deal with it yet. So I hold it in until I can process it and figure out a way forward.

I suppose this is lying, in a way. It's passive, rather than assertive. Thing is, for me, asserting my emotions all the time is NOT in my best interests. I don't want to cry and throw a tantrum every time something overwhelms me, so it's best I hold that stuff in and deal with it calmly.

In regards to actual lies - statements told that are not the truth - I suppose if I have time to prepare I could stick to a lie, eg. if somebody asks if I got them something specific for Christmas I'd be convincing when I say "No."

But I'd still say that, in general, I'm a terrible liar, and this is why:
I am useless at making things up on the spot.
If I'm surprised with a random question, the truth will always come out.
My body language, and the way I speak are dead give aways.

Even if I have prepared myself to tell a lie, I will slip up sometimes. It is better for me to keep conversation away from certain topics that I know I'd have to lie about.

[bwg2021]

It's the same for me Flamingo Jones
I'm never caught unless i want to be people constantly tell me i'm a horrible liar but i just smile cause i know if i wanted them to believe it they would have im pretty good at it (and im an actor)

and it's weird that you have been feeling that way this week the same thing has been happening to me i have just felt terrible and don't even feel like trying to fake it so i've just been waiting for someone to ask me whats wrong but it hasn't happened yet it's just been my dad yelling at me about the way i look (he says i look defeated (depressed))

[Slider]

I think being an exceptional liar is situational. For instance, we had a surprise party for my mom on her birthday and I had to hide it from her for months.

However, during a job interview I was asked if I had ever been fired, I bluntly pronounce, "Yep, I was fired from an employer about 12 years ago for stealing." Needless to say, I didn't get the job.

I believe that being honest is honorable and more difficult than not being honest; except, in my case it's probably more difficult for me to be a liar.

[GreenCoyote]

I can usually stop myself from expressing my emotions, like wearing a mask so others can't see what I'm feeling.
At these times I'm probably overwhelmed by what I'm feeling and don't know what it means or how to deal with it yet. So I hold it in until I can process it and figure out a way forward.

I suppose this is lying, in a way. It's passive, rather than assertive. Thing is, for me, asserting my emotions all the time is NOT in my best interests. I don't want to cry and throw a tantrum every time something overwhelms me, so it's best I hold that stuff in and deal with it calmly.

In regards to actual lies - statements told that are not the truth - I suppose if I have time to prepare I could stick to a lie, eg. if somebody asks if I got them something specific for Christmas I'd be convincing when I say "No."

But I'd still say that, in general, I'm a terrible liar, and this is why:
I am useless at making things up on the spot.
If I'm surprised with a random question, the truth will always come out.
My body language, and the way I speak are dead give aways.

Even if I have prepared myself to tell a lie, I will slip up sometimes. It is better for me to keep conversation away from certain topics that I know I'd have to lie about.

I am very dead on the same it's scary.
I also noticed our test results are the same.

... wonderfully coincidental?

no but seriously. reading this was like.... hey! did I write that.

I will add this twin. that I am the best liar when i am storytelling or just being creative to be fun with people... the more ridiculous the actual sentence, the more serious I am.

I'm sure people get very confused...

[Trifoilum]

In regards to actual lies - statements told that are not the truth - I suppose if I have time to prepare I could stick to a lie, eg. if somebody asks if I got them something specific for Christmas I'd be convincing when I say "No."

But I'd still say that, in general, I'm a terrible liar, and this is why:
I am useless at making things up on the spot.
If I'm surprised with a random question, the truth will always come out.
My body language, and the way I speak are dead give aways.

Agreed. I am pretty much awkward and not really used to saying things up on the spot, even if it's the truth. Making up sentences and phrases in my head is things I ran very, very quickly to varying degree, and that's also applied to lying.
But moral and personal judgement got the better of me so usually:

For a moment, I make myself believe that the lie is a truth and it works just great.

emotional, mental blocks works just fine. To a point.

[Collossus]

emotional, mental blocks works just fine. To a point.

It is not that I lock up completely emotionally. The moments before I say a lie I think that in the end all the lies are truth depending on how you treat them, and I keep this mood until I say it all.
It is a reverse technique: instead of feeling yourself a liar and tell a lame lie, you believe you always praise the truth and say a "truth" that is hard to fight against. It is obviously placebo, I may never get to really think that, but somehow it is working (maybe it is an effect of frustration of being lied so many times by almost all the people).
I don't use it too often, though, but gets right through any trait I may have and has a powerful effect.