[unico]

I wasn't sure if this were more a "4" thing or an "INFJ" thing, so I'm posting here as well:
After I started first grade I started crying hysterically every day. I was supposed to go to a "special school" after Kindergarten (due to my delays from autism), but my mother didn't like the teacher so I just went on to "regular" first grade. School was always a nightmare for me. I take criticism hard and hate if I seem rude or unkind to people. I also was bullied a lot, but oddly that didn't upset me too much, over all. But I still get really upset with myself if I've made someone feel bad and I felt really bad last night because I'd had a huge panic attack with severe heart palpitations (and my resting pulse rate is high to begin with).



I tried calling my doctor and she said to call my psychiatrist and say it was an emergency. I did so, leaving a message in the office, and I never got a call back. My psychiatrist is a *very* busy man and does get back whenever he can, but I felt really distressed and unloved. I know it sounds stupid to expect a psychiatrist to love you, but I really adore him. I can't get ahold of him until late Monday night at the earliest. I hope my heart palpitations stay under control until then. But I was super, super hurt and crying a lot when he didn't call me back because I felt he didn't care about me.

Do any other 4's have this problem of getting their feelings hurt easily?

[indieandsoul]

I'm not a 4, (5w4 wing) but my feelings do tend to get hurt very easily and it's been that way since I was a child. Not too many people payed attention to it though. They would just tell me to get over it or told me they didn't care if I had an attitude towards them. Everything I say, feel and do is for a reason. I have been rejected and taunted by many in my life so to this day, I become very sensitive when I'm being criticized or teased, even if it's all in good fun or with good intention. I also tend to observe a lot. I observe the person and the situation and from what I've seen, a lot of people don't care. They either don't care or they forget and for some reason that irritates me.

[unico]

I'm sorry you go through that (and went through that), @indieandsoul!:(

I'm not a 4, (5w4 wing) but my feelings do tend to get hurt very easily and it's been that way since I was a child. Not too many people payed attention to it though. They would just tell me to get over it or told me they didn't care if I had an attitude towards them. Everything I say, feel and do is for a reason. I have been rejected and taunted by many in my life so to this day, I become very sensitive when I'm being criticized or teased, even if it's all in good fun or with good intention. I also tend to observe a lot. I observe the person and the situation and from what I've seen, a lot of people don't care. They either don't care or they forget and for some reason that irritates me.

[indieandsoul]

@unico Aw, thank you and same to you. :( It sucks, but as I see it, those types of experiences can make or break a person and there have times it has broken me, but at the same time I've learned to roll with the punches. Though I'm easily hurt, I try my very best not to show it.

[Beyond_B]

Yes, because I try to be very careful regarding other people's feelings. When I get hurt it becomes a deep wound, a wound that doesn't cause me to hate, but confusion and pain.

[unico]

Thanks, @indieandsoul! And I completely relate, Beyond_B:(

[confused girl28]

I have to say yes, and I hate admitting it, because, I wish I´d be a stronger person, but I am not, and I find that frustrating.
I don´t know if it has to do with past experiences or not...maybe.
I get easily hurt and I hate when that happens because I think I allowed those persons to hurt me.

[jd_]

I'm pretty hypersensitive towards teasing and criticism, even when I know people weren't "thinking" before they said something. I still get that punched in the gut feeling. You wouldn't notice it on the exterior though.

I'm a 5w4...
I can be pretty critical and even downright snobby and opinionated about THINGS, but I am usually extremely careful on my critique of people, word choices, etc. I don't like critiquing other peoples stuff either, like their writing, or artwork... even if I think it isn't good I will find a very nice way of encouragement. Where others just "tell you how it is"...

[Jawz]

I realize that even though I repress my feelings a lot, I'm still relatively easily hurt. I am sensitive, but I brush it aside.

I do get hurt. But after a quick exploration of my feelings [in private] by either listening to loud music, posting on this forum, writing poetry, or a journal, I start feeling better very soon after. Many times I just simply erase hurtful people from my life completely and move on to other people. I don't like negativity, and if there's someone who's hurt me more than I like to be hurt, I just get rid of them.

As for family members [the ones I can't erase out of my life], I usually defer to my near perfect relationship with my mother --- blow off steam with her and once I'm done venting about what's hurt me, I start feeling better ---- even if she doesn't always understand or accept that I've been hurt. Just talking to her helps. Like last night, I was deeply hurt by a whole combination of things, and I spent 3 hours "airing it out" --- I feel great today.

However, I've realized that nothing makes me feel better than being accepted and validated for my feelings. Even a few words of kindness and encouragement get me re-motivated again.

Of course ... @Etherea's gentle loving has really helped me in recent months. I feel like I can be myself around her. She lets me rant and vent to my heart's content about other people till I start feeling better again.

[Jamie.Ether]

I'm a 5w4 with a heavy 4 wing, and I can relate. I was really hypersensitive when I was a kid. I had a speech impediment and became really self-conscious about it. I felt extremely hurt whenever someone joked on it. I was already shy in the first place, but having a speech problem made me even more quiet because I didn't know how people would react to it. It was frustrating having to repeat myself a lot because people didn't understand me. It made me feel isolated and trapped in a way.
I don't have any speech problems now, but I think that affected me a lot, because I can still feel easily misunderstood or dismissed.
I guess because I was misunderstood for so long, it's just sort of a sore spot for me.
I used to have a hypersensitive nervous system as a kid also. I would get upset to the point of vomiting or hyperventilating. I passed out a few times also. I hated feeling so frail and weak and was really embarrassed about it. I would throw up from getting over-excited about things too, like class fieldtrips and show-and-tell. It made me feel really weird.
I get hurt easily when I feel like people are ignoring me or I'm not important to them.