[Raain]

I might have had social anxiety throughout school and to some degree might still have it,

sometimes I am just really awkward in-front of people and I can't quite figure out why.

Sometimes my words don't come out exactly as how I had thought them they either get twisted around or I speak too quietly and mutter them out, meaning I have to repeat myself, occasionally even more than once making the whole situation pretty embarrassing.

Other times I just feel very self concious when I am out by myself, terrified by all sorts of things like the way I look to people, my posture but most of all terrified I will be seen by someone I know.

I also usually have to think everything through first like what I am going to say to people, I hate having to approach people to ask something or buy something. Used to be much worse though there was a time when I would have struggled to know what to say/do when doing something really simple like getting on a bus/train and buying/asking for a ticket, or phoning for a taxi ordering a takeaway or buying a cinema ticket. Sounds really stupid!!!

Obviously you get used to doing things though and they become much easier, I still have to kind of perk myself up a bit though when having to do something which involves approaching people and asking for something. I have to fake self confidence.

This test isn't so great Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale Test - SAS

The only things I can really relate to on it are:

Acting, performing, or speaking in front of an audience (although not so much speaking).

Urinating in a public bathroom

Entering a room when others are already seated

Returning goods to a store for a refund

Calling someone you don't know very well



Using a telephone in public

[Lightlilly]

Used to be much worse though there was a time when I would have struggled to know what to say/do when doing something really simple like getting on a bus/train and buying/asking for a ticket, or phoning for a taxi ordering a takeaway or buying a cinema ticket. Sounds really stupid!!!

I am the same way, to a point. The quote above ^ very much so when I was a child. I had to have every single detail spoken out to me in order to comfortably do one of those things (which rarely anyone ever explained anything that much to me, so I'd end up doing it in a very awkward manner) for example

If someone said to me "go in to that restaurant and order me some food" and I had not done it before, I'd have a lot of anxiety unless they said it like this....

instructions:
walk in to the McDonalds and stand in the general area where the registers are
do not automatically walk up to one
wait until someone walks up to the register and greets you
do not walk up to register until you are greeted, the cashier may be in the middle of helping another customer, calling upon them to take your order immediately while they are in the middle of something will not only frustrate the other customer that is waiting on the cashier to fill their order but may also cause unnecessary stress for the cashier when faced with two things that need to be done at the same time as fast as possible, they will let you know by greeting you when they are available to take your order.
The greeting should sound something like this "Welcome to McDonald's would you like to try our new __insert new item__? "
do not get annoyed with the cashier for suggesting the most expensive item, most likely the cashier is required to say that same greeting to everyone.
you should say
"no, thank you, I'd like to order a ten piece meal with BBQ sauce and a coke"
The cashier should then ask you if you would like the meal large
say "no, thank you, medium is fine"
do not ask the cashier if she wants to make you fat, do not get annoyed by the question, once again, they are required to ask
do let the cashier know that, you have completed your order
The cashier will then tell you your total which should be 6.20$, here is 7 dollars to which you would then hand to him/her
they will then hand you my change and place the receipt on the counter
do not yell and say that they forgot to give you my cup
they are instructed to give you the cup at the same time they give you the food, if they are busy and they give you the cup you will be over there making the coke when the food is done and they will have to call for you to come get it- the cashier may not remember which order went to which face and some other person could grab your order.
wait patiently until order is filled
if it takes more than 3mins ask the cashier if she would check on your order for you, remind them which one was yours
do not yell at the cashier for it taking so long, they do not have any control over how fast the kitchen prepares your meal
do not take the receipt from the counter either, when your order is ready the cashier will place the receipt in the bag and hand it to you with the cup while welcoming you to come back (if done properly)
you then go to the drink machine and make the coke
I'd like the cup filled 50% of the way with ice 50% of the way with coke
put a lid on it and grab a straw
bring the food the drink and my change back to me with out eating it
end instructions

I hope that was more funny rather than boring to read

[AmbrosialNightmare]

[QUOTE=Raain;2313037]I might have had social anxiety throughout school and to some degree might still have it,

sometimes I am just really awkward in-front of people and I can't quite figure out why.


I used to suffer from social anxiety and I definitely know how it feels to be anxious and awkward all the time in social situations.
From what I've read I dont think you have social anxiety and if so its a mild one.Because,usually someone with social anxiety will experience panic attacks in public situations that cause them anxiety and therefore will go into great lengths to avoid any situations like this from happening again...I think this is the tricky part,if avoiding these situations are interfering with that persons quality of life and starting to cause many problems,then that person might have social anxiety.Is your anxiety interfering with your life so much that its causing your quality of life to drop?

"Sometimes my words don't come out exactly as how I had thought them they either get twisted around or I speak too quietly and mutter them out, meaning I have to repeat myself, occasionally even more than once making the whole situation pretty embarrassing."

"Other times I just feel very self concious when I am out by myself, terrified by all sorts of things like the way I look to people, my posture but most of all terrified I will be seen by someone I know."

"I also usually have to think everything through first like what I am going to say to people, I hate having to approach people to ask something or buy something. Used to be much worse though there was a time when I would have struggled to know what to say/do when doing something really simple like getting on a bus/train and buying/asking for a ticket, or phoning for a taxi ordering a takeaway or buying a cinema ticket. Sounds really stupid!!! "

These happen to me too.I speak in a quite tone and almost always I have to repeat myself in order for them to understand what im saying and I too think a lot before i act,I've noticed a lot of people also do,but for most of the time we are just over thinking every action we do because we dont want to be judged ,dont want to feel embarassed,so in order to acheive this we need to be perfect in a way...But we never ask according to whom? who decides what the term 'perfect' means? The answer is different for everyone,therfore 'perfect' doesnt exist,so why see others definitions of it by looking at your reflection through their eyes? rather than your definition,which is seeing both your strenghts/ weaknesses and embracing them.

Just give yourself some time to think and reflect upon your anxiety.For me,writing every situation that i was afraid of has really helped,it made that weight on my chest lighter.Then gradually you get to trust yourself a little bit more and take steps into doing those things that you've avoided before.For example you can try going to store to get some milk,at first you can go with someone you trust(it gives you more confidence to have someone beside you :) ),then on another day try going on your own and when the anxiety kicks in,breathe in and let it flow through you imagine that with every breath,the thoughts of anxiety decrease just like the ink did when you were writing on the paper...a bit corny perhaps but it works :D

Hopefully this has helped you in a way :)

[Raain]

I used to suffer from social anxiety and I definitely know how it feels to be anxious and awkward all the time in social situations.
From what I've read I dont think you have social anxiety and if so its a mild one.Because,usually someone with social anxiety will experience panic attacks in public situations that cause them anxiety and therefore will go into great lengths to avoid any situations like this from happening again.

Well I don't experience panic attacks, ever really, I can speak in public, speak to strangers and do things with relative ease. But I do have some degree of anxiety doing things. Probably just low self confidence rather than anxiety but I do just feel awkward doing things and speaking to certain people, I have a massive fear of screwing things up and being humiliated in-front of everybody which is usually a self fulfilling prophecy.

Is your anxiety interfering with your life so much that its causing your quality of life to drop?

I would say yeah it is, definitely. If I didn't have this anxiety, I wouldn't worry at all about screwing stuff up, being humiliated, failure and I would be able to do anything really, with much more ease. This has affected my career a lot and my education also, when it comes to learning new practical skills I have greater difficulty doing so because of fear of screwing it up and low self confidence I can't really trust myself.

I reckon if I wasn't so awkward and anxious around others and fearful of how I appear to them, I would have a better social life as well.

Anxiety seems like the correct word to use, but I am not really specifically anxious in social situations and I do not have anxiety to the degree that I have panic attacks either.

[AmbrosialNightmare]

Well I don't experience panic attacks, ever really, I can speak in public, speak to strangers and do things with relative ease. But I do have some degree of anxiety doing things. Probably just low self confidence rather than anxiety but I do just feel awkward doing things and speaking to certain people, I have a massive fear of screwing things up and being humiliated in-front of everybody which is usually a self fulfilling prophecy.



I would say yeah it is, definitely. If I didn't have this anxiety, I wouldn't worry at all about screwing stuff up, being humiliated, failure and I would be able to do anything really, with much more ease. This has affected my career a lot and my education also, when it comes to learning new practical skills I have greater difficulty doing so because of fear of screwing it up and low self confidence I can't really trust myself.

I reckon if I wasn't so awkward and anxious around others and fearful of how I appear to them, I would have a better social life as well.

Anxiety seems like the correct word to use, but I am not really specifically anxious in social situations and I do not have anxiety to the degree that I have panic attacks either.

I understand :) From what you've written,I think your anxiety is more due to lack of confidence rather than a fear of social situations.Then I would say that social anxiety isnt really the issue youre dealing with.I think you should work on boosting your self confidence,maybe joining clubs on things youre interested can help you both interact with others and improve your self confidence.For example you might be into tennis,then you can join a tennis club where you will feel more comfortable because
1)youre doing something you enjoy and familiar with,
2)The people around you share the same interests so it will be easier for you to start a conversation and connect with them.
This way,you will gradually feel more comfortable around people and that will boost your self confidence.

[passionista]

Nope!

[sequenceofsound]

Every day, challenge yourself to do one of those things you fear. Ask yourself, "What's the worst that could happen"? and "What's the best that could happen"? The best will triumph over the worst in the end because you will become stronger and more confident. You will become more fully you and be able to live your life in freedom. Take baby steps, record your progress, and later you will see how far you've come.

[theorycraft]

I was happy in my harbour
When you cut me loose
Floating on an ocean

wat

[Borrowed Lunacy]

I scored 77 on that test. I want a job, but the thought scares me. I feel like I'm moving through molasses, I have dreams where I'm running, but I'm running almost on the spot I never get anywhere. I'm not running from something, I'm running to something but I'll never get there. I haven't really talked to a friend in months, and I've never expressed interest in a girl. It's safe to rationalise it all as I'm not worth anything, yet I keep the conceited view that I'm intelligent.
I want to get better, but I keep self sabotaging every attempt I make. While it's not true that I haven't talked to friends, I haven't met any face to face in over a year.
I think sometimes that this is all bullshit, but I can't stop myself from thinking the other stuff. I set up barriers, huge ones.

[E_N_T_P]

Mcdonald's?! Yuck, if you try my home-made french mayo you'll never go to mcdonalds again.