[RomanticEditor]

After a frustrating conversation with my sister yesterday I began reflecting how being misunderstood affects me more than it should. When I feel misunderstood, I get upset and my first reaction is to withdraw from the mainstream. I shouldn't let it bother me.



If we are doing all that is necessary that should be enough, because let's face it... the day-to-day world has enough stress already. Do you get muddled over this too? Please share your experiences.

[Slider]

Lately, my sister seems to have adopted a strange, new spiritual vibe that's fed by plenty of yoga and vegetarianism. Yet, when she talks to me, she still reserves a small amount of cynical antagonism for my benefit.

It's a little disheartening and irritating, but I've become pretty good at ignoring it. Sadly, she has much of my father's temperament and will never truly know who I am.

[mrkedi]

i feel being misunderstood all of the time. communication with word is not something i mastered.

[Icarus]

When trying to explain things to people I often resort to analogies because it makes sense in my head and requires the person to actually think... With most people this ends poorly and they take the wrong message away from my efforts
Which is frustrating and if you try to correct them and they ignore you completely...
All this usally comes back and haunts me later
Its sSOO frustrating when people misunderstand me.

[Indigo Knight]

Being misunderstood is something that I think is common in all types (especially when you want to express something and just want others to 'get it').

INFJ's have the unfortunate tendency of withdrawing from things when they get upset (as a way of setting boundaries). As a type, it's easier to withdraw (and think things over) than it is to engage in conflict and become emotionally charged.

[RomanticEditor]

Being misunderstood is something that I think is common in all types (especially when you want to express something and just want others to 'get it').

INFJ's have the unfortunate tendency of withdrawing from things when they get upset (as a way of setting boundaries). As a type, it's easier to withdraw (and think things over) than it is to engage in conflict and become emotionally charged.

Yes, when I referred to frustrating conversation, my sister would have probably not known it was frustrating for me as I made out that everything was fine, but the truth was I was feeling judged rather than understood.

[Jack Rabid]

Yes, when I referred to frustrating conversation, my sister would have probably not known it was frustrating for me as I made out that everything was fine, but the truth was I was feeling judged rather than understood.

What if you are being judged???

Why does it matter?? Someone else cannot not determine who you are.. A judgment does not mean a person thinks any less of you..

A misunderstanding is an opportunity to learn to connect to others and their thoughts and feelings too.. and share yours...

Instead you put on a mask.. and now YOU feel frustrated..

I am confounded

[amanda32]

Being misunderstood is something that I think is common in all types (especially when you want to express something and just want others to 'get it').

INFJ's have the unfortunate tendency of withdrawing from things when they get upset (as a way of setting boundaries). As a type, it's easier to withdraw (and think things over) than it is to engage in conflict and become emotionally charged.

This is my pet peeve with INFJ's. Just wish you'd tell us what your thinking! Even INFP's can't read you're minds, what up with THAT?? If I may give some friendly advice: try harder to express your feelings, it's really frustrating to get the silent reatment -- especially for an INFP. It means to us you don't like us.

[RomanticEditor]

This is my pet peeve with INFJ's. Just wish you'd tell us what your thinking! Even INFP's can't read you're minds, what up with THAT?? If I may give some friendly advice: try harder to express your feelings, it's really frustrating to get the silent reatment -- especially for an INFP. It means to us you don't like us.

Guess that's why I'm here is to learn. It's not easy seeing yourself in the mirror.

[thegirlcandance]

Story of my life...

And though I know being misunderstood is prevalent with everyone to some degree, I think it's harder for INFJ's in particular because of our cognitive functions.
We have primary Ni and secondary Fe. The Fe gives us the need to need outward validation of our feelings. When we're upset, to some degree, we need to go to some trusted person to know that we are not crazy or to organize out thoughts a bit.
I know with myself (and I'm sure other INFJ's can relate) that when and if we don't feel understood or that we are not receiving the harmony and validation when need when we come out with our Fe we tend to withdraw from people and go into our Ni for comfort to avoid getting hurt and being misunderstood from the outside world, which can be rather heartbreaking.
Then I know my problem is that sometimes I just need that external validation so much that I'll try again, though I may get to the point where it seems that nobody really can give me the proper validation and need and to the right degree. So then I'm hurt because of that ... so that is compounded on top of the initial issue and emotions. Ahh.

It can be even more frustrating when your dealing with someone who's primary is Fe and someone else that is Fi. Because the primary Fe person is hurt and can't understand your need to be alone and not talk about feelings at times, while the Fi person may not understand your need to get verbal validation of your feelings.

It can turn into one big mess of being misunderstood and emotionally hurt by the external world.
Then to explain ourselves involves further conflict, which is so terribly emotionally exhausting. It's so much easier to just drop it and go into hiding. But then you go into hiding, and people can't understand why your not talking to them. Aghhhh!!

As I say with about every post I make where I'm getting all theoretical, hopefully that makes sense... but it honestly makes sense in my mind!!