INFJs and depression

INFJs and depression

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This is a discussion on INFJs and depression within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; INFJs fall into loneliness quite easily and are sensitive individuals. Therefore, they all tend to fall into depression perhaps quite ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    INFJs and depression

    INFJs fall into loneliness quite easily and are sensitive individuals. Therefore, they all tend to fall into depression perhaps quite easily...

    As an INFJ, how do you manage to deal with your depression??
    yellowbritt, violetta, Anima and 3 others thanked this post.

  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors


    -Listening to lots of shoegaze
    -Talking to other people who are depressed, and having warm feelings toward them
    -Cuddling with my girlfriend
    -Venting at my girlfriend
    -Playing piano or singing
    -Reading articles/books/blogs on psychology, spirituality, and philosophy
    -Watching depressing movies
    -Not eating.

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    All of the above comments by Selene are accurate for me as well. xD

    Except, I play guitar.
    thegirlcandance, Selene and R22 thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors

    - Watch a comedy
    - Listen to upbeat music
    - Indulge in comfort food, which usually means carbs and chocolates (amazingly, I'm still a size 0-2 in my 30s)
    - Work out at the gym and get the endorphins pumping
    - Catch up with my ExFx friends over coffee/dinner and soak up their positive energy
    - Take a walk, whether in a park or in the city. This distracts me and I feel better afterwards
    - Write a diary to sort out how I feel
    - Write out a list of things I'm thankful for
    - Meditation; it's a way to calm myself down
    - Cooking and baking; I get a lot of satisfaction from these. I usually make more than I can eat and it makes me happy to see my housemates/friends enjoy the stuff I've made
    WickedQueen, thegirlcandance, Selene and 6 others thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by thegirlcandance View Post
    INFJs fall into loneliness quite easily and are sensitive individuals. Therefore, they all tend to fall into depression perhaps quite easily...

    As an INFJ, how do you manage to deal with your depression??
    What is your definition of depression?
    Over 5 years ago I suffered from a major depression. In the beginning I did not deal with it.
    What was worse was that I embraced the feelings that came with it.
    At that point in my life it was better to feel so bad then to feel nothing at all.
    So how did I deal with it? I would sleep most of the time because I was up hours overthinking everything.
    I did not talk to many people, because no body would understand me.
    I would listen to sad music to even enhance my feelings.
    Basicly I would just feed it.
    Looking back. The only way I could really "deal" with it was by opening up to someone.
    Coming out of a real depression stays a tough journey.
    You have to fight against yourself, and we do have a pretty strong personality.
    thegirlcandance, Selene, Jack Rabid and 13 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Well first lets define what the depression manifests itself as:

    In my most recent depression which is finally coming to a close, I:
    -Changed my behavior to avoid confronting things that reminded me of my problem.
    -Got anxious with the slightest reminder of my problem.
    -Anxiety attacks.
    -Violently crying at night.
    -Overall bad mood all of the time.
    -Sleep during the day simply to not be awake and deal with pain.
    -Horrifying daydreams.
    -Incredibly sensitive around others.
    -Paranoid (ie. other people laughing feels like they are laughing at you)
    -Willingness to do drugs.
    -Not eating for days on end.

    To combat those things, there were a couple things I had to do:
    -Changed associations-so that I wouldn't change my behavior to avoid pain. I realized that I was reinforcing that fear by avoiding the things I was afraid of. This means changing associations to music and places and words.
    -Changed my sleep schedule back to normal. (HUGE DEAL)
    -Eat Food!
    -Stop hurting yourself - in all senses of the phrase.
    -Lighten up around people and try not to let your mood into the situation. Take on the attitude of those around you instead of trying to bring yours to them.
    -Treat yourself to things you like.
    -Realize how important your friends are and nothing beats that.
    -Occasionally open up to your friends, but don't overwhelm them-make sure you are asking for ADVICE and not APPROVAL. (don't become dependent)
    -Comedy (like a religion) SPONGEBOB FOR DAYS
    -Write Journals -try to create a motif of moving on, don't use it to hold on or to perpetuate you sadness.
    -Eat more food.
    -EXERCISE at least once a day.
    -Force yourself to go out. Be more of an extrovert than you normally are when you are alright.
    -Do what art calms you. (things with your hands are especially calming-for me its playing piano.)

    Through that process I had about five or six moments of utter disregard for my safety throughout the two years and they seemed to come out of nowhere. Be careful, especially if you drink. Please.

    Much love,
    thegirlcandance, Sunless, Selene and 24 others thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors

    It seems that I go through a depression every few years, but I've learned to recognize the lows and the highs as a normal ebb and flow. Mindfulness meditation helps me through the lows, and I have to trust and remind myself--even visualize--that an unseen metamorphosis is at work, that I'm going to emerge stronger and with a clearer vision and sense of purpose. When I do emerge, I am all the more thankful and present for the highs.

    Recognizing it as cyclical has really given me hope to get through the lowest points, knowing that something better awaits.
    thegirlcandance, Blue Heart, Susanna and 6 others thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Selene View Post

    -Listening to lots of shoegaze
    -Talking to other people who are depressed, and having warm feelings toward them
    -Cuddling with my girlfriend
    -Venting at my girlfriend
    -Playing piano or singing
    -Reading articles/books/blogs on psychology, spirituality, and philosophy
    -Watching depressing movies
    -Not eating.
    shoegaze ftw!!! (listening to Slowdive right now lol)

    I play guitar WAY too much (depressed or not) but more so when depressed. If I can manage to do art I can, but there has been days where I just played guitar for 9 + hours straight(including once last week), with little break. It is extremely calming.
    I often sleep a lot... or not sleep at all if it is making me feel sick and something immediate is really hurting me but that is at extremes (i.e. break ups/death/finding out something horrible)
    I usually lie about how I feel to others, keep things positive and sometimes they turn out.
    If I am depressed over an ex I avoid that music that I associate the ex with (which sucks sometimes)
    Meditation, subconscious impregnation before sleeping and when waking.
    Ummm....Trying to focus on a possible ideal future. Try to avert feelings of loneliness to possible things I can get done.
    If I get in to a DEEP depression over something it will often take a day or two for it to hit me and b4 then I am usually in an odd state of neutrality where I get A LOT done then i fall.
    I TRY to hang out with good friends to tell them how I feel BUT ppl don't like to be around me when I am depressed, if I am down everyone disappears.

    Life is good currently, really great. But it is all an eb and flow of emotional states
    Selene and Susanna thanked this post.

  9. #9
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    Right, attempt number two! I posted a big long explanation and my interent died, gah!

    I cope with depression but facing it and not trying to hide it. I used to internalise everything and keep myself busy in order to forget what was happening, but you can only ignore problems for so long. I have realised that it is nothing to be ashamed of, and once you realise that it's very liberating.
    I try to rationalise and get things into perspective. For example, I am anxious about going out. So I spend time thinking about why I am afraid and whether those thoughts are rational, sometimes I even have conversations with myself about it out loud. I think about the irrational thought, evidence to prove it and evidence to disprove it and surprise surprise the evidence to disprove it always outweighs the evidence to prove it. I feel like people are looking at me and lauging at me, that's what they did to me at school to strangers in the street must be doing it. This is just a negative thought, just a thought. When I sit and think about it, the actual truth is that I think people are doing that, I don't know for certain that there are. People are generally too busy with their own lives to notice me. So I went out and sure enough people weren't staring at me, nobody really noticed me. I try not to let nagative thoughts comsume me and I try to see the bigger picture. It's tough when you have low confidence and when you are depressed it's hard to see the bright side, but it has to be done :)
    MasterDood, thegirlcandance, Selene and 5 others thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Ok my turn to share. Like everyone, I go through cycles of ups and downs. But it's only recently that I came down with depression. Some people think of depression as a bout of moodiness, irritation or believe it or not, emotional instability. It's more severe than that.

    When I am depressed, I don't have a desire for anything. I don't feel like talking. I don't want to go out. I forget to eat. I just stay at home and do... nothing. I can't finish books because I can't concentrate. I can't even watch TV because it's mindless and nothing goes in. I just feel very hopeless and tired. I wonder what's the point of doing anything because it's all futile. I procrastinate when I work. I spend too much brooding, though I always manage to finish up everything in a mad rush of energy before the deadline. At one point, I stopped trying to help myself, because I felt that nothing I could do would change my situation one bit.

    I sleep too much sometimes, because I want to forget. Other times, I can't catch a single wink and spend the whole day feeling exhausted. If I do go out, it's mostly to get groceries. Even then, I take forever to find something to wear. You wouldn't believe it but I have several wardrobes bursting with clothes, shoes, bags, accessories etc. I usually dress according to how I feel. These days, I don't feel like anything.

    I really have to kick myself to call friends and spend time with them. But I don't talk about my depression. Even my housemates have no idea, because I keep to myself and chat about the most superficial stuff with them. When I do mention my condition, it's usually about a particular phase that I've already passed. Like a bout of self-pity I've overcome. I find it so whiny and self-indulgent to talk talk talk about how depressed I am. It doesn't change how I feel. It doesn't change my situation one bit. To go on and on about my depression just reminds me how down I really am, and like quicksand, it pulls me in and drowns me. I'd rather soak in the positivity and laughter of my friends. They cheer me up because I'm willing to let them. If I insist on remaining gloomy, I know they wouldn't be able to do a thing to change this.

    Ok, I'd better stop now. Talking about being depressed really depresses me :*(
    MasterDood, thegirlcandance, Selene and 15 others thanked this post.

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